A woman was having her portrait painted and told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex watch."
"But you are not wearing any of those things," the artist said.
"I know," remarked the woman. "My husband is having an affair with his secretary. If I die before he does, I'm sure he will marry her right away, and I want the bitch to go crazy looking for the jewelry."
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