Beware Of The Guard

I attended my second Ladies Auxiliary meeting last night, and I've got to say that it was even more interesting than the first meeting last month.  I've only been an official member for a month, but I've already been appointed to a position; a very important position at that.  Last night, I was appointed to be The Guard.  The previous Guard resigned last night, and they appointed me to fill in until annual elections are held in April. Then, I will turn over my Guard duties and will run for the office of Secretary.  The Ladies Auxiliary is even cooler than I imagined - I've only been a member for a month and I'm already in office. 

No, I didn't get any weapons to wave around during the meeting, but I did have two very important parts of the meeting.  I sat in the back of the room, and made sure that were no unauthorized personnel in there; in other words, I sat there at a table by myself, and made sure that the members that came in had their membership card and that they signed in on the roster.  Oh, did I forget to mention that I, the newly appointed Guard, did not have my membership card yet?

My second job was very dramatic and formal.  Before the meeting started, Madame President pounded her gavel once to signify the beginning of the meeting, and ordered The Guard to secure the meeting room. See? I told you it was dramatic.  I then had to walk to the back and close the door leading to the bar area, and then I walked back to my table and proclaimed "Madame President's orders have been fulfilled."  No, I'm not making that up; that was what I actually had to say.  Then when the meeting was over, I had to go and open the door leading to the bar area to signify that the meeting was officially over. 

Being the Guard is pretty cool - maybe I'll get a cool hat or something.  A big Walking Tall stick would be neat.  It might come in handy when I secure the room.