Farewell, Dennis Weaver

I'm very sad to report our third celebrity death in two days.  Actor Dennis Weaver died this weekend from complications due to cancer.  The actor was 81 years old.

Just like actors Don Knotts and Darren McGavin who passed away this same weekend, Dennis Weaver also shared in the success of being well known for playing two different characters during their television careers.  Weaver was known for playing the slow-witted deputy Chester Goode in the TV classic western "Gunsmoke" and the New Mexico deputy transplanted to New York CIty in "McCloud."

Weaver was a struggling actor in Hollywood, earning $60 a week in 1955 delivering flowers when he was offered $300 a week for a rols in a new CBS television series, "Gunsmoke."  By the end of his nine years with "Gunsmoke," he was earning $9,000 a week.  The role of deputy Chester earned him an Emmy award in 1959. 

In 1966, Weaver starred with a 600-pound black bear in the series "Gentle Ben," one of my favorite shows as a kid. I especially liked when Weaver's character would drive one of those cool air boats through the Everglades.  The show was well-liked by the viewers, but after two seasons CBS decided it needed more adult entertainment and cancelled it. 

After "Gentle Ben," Weaver went on to star in another highly successful series, "McCloud."  He played the character Sam McCloud, a deputy marshall from New Mexico who is assigned to the NYPD to study their police methods.  His wild west tactics, such as riding his horse through Manhattan traffic and wearing his Stetson and very cool sheepskin coat, drove the NYPD crazy,  but McCloud always solved the case.  Instead of gloating to the NYPD, he would always say "there ya go."

Weaver also was an activist for protecting the environment and fighting world hunger.  He served as president of Love Is Feeding Everyone (LIFE), which fed 150,000 needy people a week in Los Angeles County.  He founded the Institue of Ecolonomics, which sought solutions to economic and environmental problems, and he spoke at the United Nations and Congress about fighting pollution and starvation.  Dennis and his wife Gerry even built a solar-powered home in Colorado, made out of recycled tires and cans. 

Mullet Watch

The latest mullet sighting is brought to us by my friend SDF.  She spotted this mullet at church.  This is another first for Mullet Watch - our first sighting at church. Here's the story, in her own words:

I had a laugh out loud moment in church yesterday as I spotted a mullet.  Joe and I were sitting in the balcony and this "older guy" guy was sitting below us on the main floor.  His mullet was full grey and the most interesting part was that he had the top of it obviously moussed/gelled and teased so that it was sticking straight up.  He was otherwise dressed decenlty--khaki pants and a long sleeved dress shirt.

Mullet count: 15

Editor's note:  I'm kinda bummed that I haven't received any reports of mullet sightings at this weekend's Carl Casper's Custom Auto Show.  Maybe next year.

Farewell, Darren McGavin

I'm sad to report another celebrity death this weekend - actor Darren McGavin has died.  He was 83 years old.  Reports say he died of natural causes. 

McGavin starred in the television series "Mike Hammer" and "Kolchak - the Night Stalker" but is probably more well known for his role as Ralphie's dad in the holiday classic "A Christmas Story."   In "Kolchak - the Night Stalker", McGavin played a reporter who investigated supernatural occurances.  "Kolchak" was the inspiration for the hit series (and one of my all-time favorite shows) "The X-Files", and because of this, McGavin was asked to play the role of Arthur Dales, the man who started the X-Files.  McGavin appeared in three episodes of the show. 

I loved watching "Kolchak" with my Grandpa when I was little.  I was pretty brave, and didn't scare too easily from things on TV and movies, but just in case I would always sit in the floor next to Grandpa's chair while we watched it. (I thought I'd better sit close to him in case he got scared.)  The show didn't deal too much with aliens, like "The X-FIles" did, but it still had some wild stuff on there. 

Darren McGavin also appeared in several episodes of "Murphy Brown" as Murphy's father.  McGavin won an Emmy in 1990 for his portrayal of yet another rough, but loving father. 

People might not remember Darren McGavin as the star of "Mike Hammer" or "The Night Stalker" but they will be quick to say they know him as Ralphie's father in "A Christmas Story." One of my favorite scenes featuring McGavin is when Ralphie's father is a "major prize winner" in a contest, and wins a lamp made like a shapely woman's leg, complete with fishnet stockings.  When Ralphie's dad was opening the crate that contained his major prize, he saw the word "fragile" stamped on the crate, and pronouced the word "frah-gee-lay", and said it must have been imported from Italy.  Thanks to you, Darren, we'll never look at the word "fragile" the same way again. 

 

Farewell, Don Knotts

I was sad to read last night that our beloved Don Knotts has died.  He was 81 years old.  He passed away Friday night from pulmonary and respiratory complications.  Knotts' longtime friend Andy Griffith was at his bedside when he died.  "Don was a small man, but everything else about him was large: his mind, his expressions," Griffith told The Associated Press on Saturday. "Don was special. There's nobody like him. I loved him very much," Griffith added. "We had a long and wonderful life together."

Don Knotts will be forever known for playing Deputy Barney Fife on the still-popular "Andy Griffith Show." He won an astounding five Emmy awards for his portrayal of  Barney Fife, probably the most popular character on the show.  The show ran from 1960-68, and was in the top 10 of the Nielsen ratings each season, including a No. 1 ranking its final year. It is one of only three series in TV history to bow out at the top: The others are "I Love Lucy" and "Seinfeld." The 249 episodes still appear in reruns and have spawned a large, active network of fan clubs.

As the bug-eyed deputy to Griffith, Knotts carried in his shirt pocket the one bullet he was allowed after shooting himself in the foot. He was constantly fumbling with his one bullet, often dropping it while trying to load his gun.  How can we ever forget one of Barney's classic lines "Nip it, nip it in the bud"?

Knotts, whose shy, soft-spoken manner was unlike his high-strung characters, once said he was most proud of the Fife character and doesn't mind being remembered that way.  We'll always remember him that way, too.  Knotts said his favorite episodes, were "The Pickle Story," where Aunt Bee makes pickles no one can eat, and "Barney and the Choir," where no one can stop him from singing.  One of my favorite Barney episodes is "Mountain Wedding", where Barney dresses up in a white lace wedding gown in an attempt to fool Enest T. Bass.

You'll be missed, Don Knotts.  But as long as we're able to watch you with Andy, your memory will live on. 

Link Of The Week

My Grandfather said that the only regrets you have in life should be the things you didn't do.  I agree with him.  I regret that I'm not down in New Orleans right now enjoying Mardi Gras. I want to go one time before I'm too old to enjoy it.  I want to wear so many beads that I look like Mr. T.  But it you're like me and can't get down to Bourbon Street this year, never fear - there's a way that we can still be a part of the action.  Just go to http://www.nola.com/bourbocam/classic/index.ssf.  You can watch all of the action on Bourbon Street from a web cam.  The pictures are updated every 20 seconds.  You'd be surprised at the sights you'll see.  If you get tired of watching Bourbon Street, at the bottom of the page are links to other web cams catching all of the live action at Mardi Gras.

Get Well Soon, Sheryl Crow

I was shocked this morning when I read that my favorite female rocker Sheryl Crow had surgery this week for breast cancer.  I had no idea.  The only thing we've heard about Sheryl in the past few weeks was about her break-up with Lance Armstrong, another cancer survivor.  February has sure been a sucky month for Sheryl, hasn't it?  You can't get much more hardcore than that - you split up with your fiance and then a couple of weeks later you're diagnosed with breast cancer.  But Sheryl is thankful, and we are too, that they caught it early through self-examination, and she is expected to make a full recovery.  She's cancelling her current tour and will undergo radiation treatments as a precaution.

Sheryl had this to say on her website yesterday:

“Approximately 1 in 7 American women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime and more than 2 million American are living with breast cancer today. I am joining the more than 200,000 women who will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year.

We are a testament to the importance of early detection and new treatments. I encourage all women everywhere to advocate for themselves and for their future – see your doctor and be proactive about your health.

More than 10 million Americans are living with cancer, and they demonstrate the ever-increasing possibility of living beyond cancer. I am inspired by the brave women who have faced this battle before me and grateful for the
support of family and friends.”

I have a whole new respect for Sheryl Crow.  She's been one of my favorites since she first came on the scene with her first album "Tuesday Night Music Club", back in 1993.  I love her music, and especially admire her because she plays the guitar instead of just holding it as a prop like some music stars do.  I am eating a big serving of humble pie right now, and would like to publicly say that I forgive you, Sheryl Crow, for the baseball bat  incident before your last concert here in Louisville 3 years ago. I've held a major grudge and haven't liked you very much as a person since then, even though I did continue to buy your music and liked you as a musician.  I'm sure you had your reasons for not wanting to talk to me and a few other fans that day when I gave you your personalized Louisville Slugger baseball bat.  But I let that go now, and I'm sorry.  So Sheryl, TWIT wishes you all the best, and you will be in our thoughts and prayers as you continue your treatment.  You still rock.

Poor, Poor PATs

I just spent several hours observing teenagers hanging out at a local mall. I came to the conclusion many teenagers in America today are living in poverty. Most young men I observed didn't even own a belt; there was not one among the whole group.

But that wasn't the sad part. Many were wearing their daddy's jeans. Some jeans were so big and baggy they hung low on their hips, exposing their underwear. I know some must have been ashamed their daddy was short, because his jeans hardly went below their knees. They weren't even their daddies' good jeans, for most had holes ripped in the knees and looked like they hadn't been washed in months.

It grieved me, in a modern, affluent society like America, there are those who can't afford a decent pair of jeans. I was thinking about asking my church to start a jeans drive for "poor kids at the mall." Then on Christmas Eve, we could go Christmas caroling and distribute jeans to these poor teenagers.

But here is the saddest part...it was the girls they were hanging out with that disturbed me most. Never, in all of my days, have I seen such poverty-stricken girls. These girls had the opposite problem of the guys. They all had to wear their little sister's clothes. Their jeans were about 5 sizes too small! I don't know how they could get them on, let alone button them up. Their jeans barely went over their hip bones. Most also had
on their little sister's top; it hardly covered their midsections. Oh, they were trying to hold their heads up with pride, but it was a sad sight to see these almost grown women wearing children's clothes.

However, it was their underwear that bothered me most. They, like the boys, because of the improper fitting of their clothes, they had their underwear exposed. I had never seen anything like it. It looked like their underwear was only held together by a single piece of string.

I know it saddens your heart to receive this report on condition of our American teenagers. While we go to bed every night with a closets full of clothes nearby, there are millions of "mall girls" who barely have enough material to keep it together. We think their "poorness" is why these two groups gather at the mall; boys with their short daddies' ripped jeans, and girls wearing their younger sisters' clothes. Themall is one place where they can find acceptance. So, next time you are at the mall, doing
your shopping , and you pass by some of these poor teenagers, would you say a prayer for them?

And one more thing . Will you pray the guys' pants won't fall down, and the girls' strings won't break?

 

Beware Of The Guard

I attended my second Ladies Auxiliary meeting last night, and I've got to say that it was even more interesting than the first meeting last month.  I've only been an official member for a month, but I've already been appointed to a position; a very important position at that.  Last night, I was appointed to be The Guard.  The previous Guard resigned last night, and they appointed me to fill in until annual elections are held in April. Then, I will turn over my Guard duties and will run for the office of Secretary.  The Ladies Auxiliary is even cooler than I imagined - I've only been a member for a month and I'm already in office. 

No, I didn't get any weapons to wave around during the meeting, but I did have two very important parts of the meeting.  I sat in the back of the room, and made sure that were no unauthorized personnel in there; in other words, I sat there at a table by myself, and made sure that the members that came in had their membership card and that they signed in on the roster.  Oh, did I forget to mention that I, the newly appointed Guard, did not have my membership card yet?

My second job was very dramatic and formal.  Before the meeting started, Madame President pounded her gavel once to signify the beginning of the meeting, and ordered The Guard to secure the meeting room. See? I told you it was dramatic.  I then had to walk to the back and close the door leading to the bar area, and then I walked back to my table and proclaimed "Madame President's orders have been fulfilled."  No, I'm not making that up; that was what I actually had to say.  Then when the meeting was over, I had to go and open the door leading to the bar area to signify that the meeting was officially over. 

Being the Guard is pretty cool - maybe I'll get a cool hat or something.  A big Walking Tall stick would be neat.  It might come in handy when I secure the room.

Tea, Anyone?

Court upholds church use of hallucinogenic tea
Justices unanimously rule that N.M. congregation can drink illegal drug

The Associated Press Updated: 1:11 p.m. ET Feb. 21, 2006

WASHINGTON - The Supreme Court ruled unanimously Tuesday that a small congregation in New Mexico may use hallucinogenic tea as part of a four-hour ritual intended to connect with God.

Justices, in their first religious freedom decision under Chief Justice John Roberts, moved decisively to keep the government out of a church’s religious practice. Federal drug agents should have been barred from confiscating the hoasca tea of the Brazil-based church, Roberts wrote in the decision.

The tea, which contains an illegal drug known as DMT, is considered sacred to members of O Centro Espirita Beneficiente Uniao do Vegetal, which has a blend of Christian beliefs and South American traditions. Members believe they can understand God only by drinking the tea, which is consumed twice a month at four-hour ceremonies.

New Justice Samuel Alito did not take part in the case, which was argued last fall before Justice Sandra Day O’Connor before her retirement. Alito was on the bench for the first time on Tuesday.

Roberts said that the Bush administration had not met its burden under a federal religious freedom law to show that it could ban “the sect’s sincere religious practice.”

The chief justice had also been skeptical of the government’s position in the case last fall, suggesting that the administration was demanding too much, a “zero tolerance approach.”

The Bush administration had argued that the drug in the tea not only violates a federal narcotics law, but a treaty in which theUnited States promised to block the importation of drugs including dimethyltryptamine, also known as DMT.

“The government did not even submit evidence addressing the international consequences of granting an exemption for the (church),” Roberts wrote.

The justices sent the case back to a federal appeals court, which could consider more evidence.

Roberts, writing his second opinion since joining the court, said that religious freedom cases can be difficult “but Congress has determined that courts should strike sensible balances.”

The case is Gonzales v. O Centro Espirita Beneficiente Uniao Do Vegetal, 04-1084.

Wow!  Maybe we can get this voted in at Fourth Avenue during our next business meeting.  If the Supreme Court ruled for a small church in the desert in New Mexico, surely they would rule for our little inner city church.  After writing quadruple-digit checks to pay the gas and electric bill for the past few months, I sure could have used some hallucinogenic tea. 

I did a bit of research on DMT and found some interesting information.  DMT is a pretty powerful psychoactive substance. It produces powerful hallucinations.  A trip sitter is used to assist the drug user in staying physically and mentally healthy, and in the case of smoked DMT, to catch the pipe when the loser starts trippin' and drops it out of their mouth.  If DMT is smoked, the trip lasts for about a half an hour, and you start trippin' about a minute after you first inhale.  That's pretty darned quick.  It has the same effects if snorted or injected.  If DMT is taken orally, like in the form of tea, the trip lasts for about an hour. The tea is the boiled leaves, bark or roots of a variety of plants.  In the U.S., Reed canary grass and Harding grass is used. 

Studies show that DMT experiences include time-dilation, visual and audio hallucinations, perceived journeys to paranormal realms, and encounters with spiritual beings.  In other words, it is one major trip. 

 

Your Typical Class

I just got home from school and I'm worn out.  No, I'm not going back for another degree.  I'm taking a class taught by one of my professors from Webster, called "Career Booster Shot."  It's a small class - only 11 people, including me and my dear childhood friend SDF.  Even though it's small, it still has the single most annoying student you'll find in every class regardless of the subject: The Talker. 

You know who I'm talking about - the one person in every class, seminar or training session you've ever attended who talks all the time.  Not whispering or talking while the teacher is trying to teach; talking all the time when comments are supposed to be made or questions are supposed to be answered by the students. 

It only took the first ten minutes of the class to pick out The Talker in this session.  She had a comment for just about everything the instructor said or asked.  She even had comments directed to any of us students who were able to get a word in edge-wise and make a comment.  We know she loves the color purple (she was wearing a purple blouse and coat, and was carrying a purple purse; we know she eats her five fruits and vegetables a day, and that apples are her favorite (this comment was directed to the woman behind her who had eaten a banana and walked up to the front of the class to throw her banana peel in the garbage can); and we know that she has an obsession with Borders bookstore (she mentioned the place 4 times during the two-hour class). 

SDF and I were walking to our cars after class, and I made the comment "I think I'll have to put today's journal on the back burner until tomorrow."  As we made our way across campus she said "Yep.  You've got to write about The Talker."  I didn't even say what I was going to write about, nor did we discuss The Talker during class - I guess we'd both been in class so much during our lives, it was just automatic. 

Who Do You Think Would Win?

I was playing some Slingo earlier this evening, and while I was waiting for the game screen to load, I had to endure tons of the customery ad banners that we see on just about every site we visit these days - even here at TWIT, unfortunately.  One of ads really caught my eye - it had small picture of Eminem and Maria Carey and the ad posed the interesting question "Who would win in a fight?"  You know what?  That's something that you just don't think about.  I can honestly say that in my 43 years, not once have I thought "If Eminem and Mariah Carey got into a fight, which one would win?"   I could have understood if the ad was for two people who are kinda the same, like "If Jennifer Aniston and Angeline Jolie got into a fight, which one would win?" or "If Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw got into a fight, which one would win?"  But two entirely opposite and different people like Eminem and Mariah Carey?  WTF?

If we analyze this like the sports people on ESPN, maybe we can come up with the winner.  In one corner we have Eminem.  Sure, he's a tough rapper but he's also a wannabe gangstah, I think.  The emphasis here is on the wannabe.   He might rap a good talk, but I don't think he can walk the talk.  In the other corner we have Mariah Carey.  She's a tough diva.  Very tough.  She made it through Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve unscathed.  Add that to her battles with Sony and she is one tough contender.  If I were a betting woman, my money would be on Mariah in that fight. 

Link Of The Week

I enjoy eating out - who doesn't?  You get to eat food that you didn't have to fix yourself.  Even though you have to pay a bit more for it, it's still a good deal; you get to pick what you want to eat - something that you may not get to do at home.  And if you have a gift certificate or a coupon, then the dining experience is even better.  I found a site that might help out your wallet when you eat out.  Check out http://www.restaurant.com.  They have great deals for restaurants where you can great gift certificates for a fraction of the face value.  It's legit - I've tried it before.  You know I would not tell my faithful readers to try something that I would not try myself.  A few weeks ago, I got a $25 gift certificate for a restaurant that I frequent for the ridiculously low price of $3.  The majority of the time you'll find where you can get a $25 gift certificate for $10, so this was the find of the century.  Just put the link in your favorites and check back every day like I do, and maybe you can come across a good deal like I did.  When you go to the site, you can enter your zip code, or you can put in your state and narrow it down by region.  Give it a try.  Your wallet will be glad you did.

Special Recipe Saturday

Anyone that knows me well, knows that I don't cook.  Actually I can cook; I just choose not to.  Our kitchen is big, but it's not big enough for three cooks.  Mom is the #1 cook in the family, and since Dad has been retired, he's been baking alot.  His latest specialty is The Ultimate Carrot Cake.  He made a few of them for Christmas gifts and they were quite the big hit. We all enjoy watching the Food Network, and every now and then one of the shows will feature a recipe that we like and the 'rents will have me go print it out from the Food Network website.  Our current favorite cook on the Food Network is the good ol' southern gal, Paula Deen.  I picked up a copy of her new magazine last week, chocked full of recipes, and I'm here to tell you that Dad read the magazine from cover to cover before I had the chance to even open it. One recipe caught his eye, and Mom and he went shopping earlier this week for the ingredients, and then they set out to make taco soup.  It was awesome.  It was so good, that they put the rest in the freezer so we could have it for Sunday lunch instead of keeping it out for me to take the leftovers to work.  Anyhoo, we'll get to have a nice hot bowl of it tomorrow while the frigid temperature is in the low teens.  I'd like to share with you Paula Deen's Taco Soup recipe.  It definitely gets the TWIT seal of approval.  And way to go Dad - you've become quite the cook. Grandma would be proud of you.

Taco Soup

1 3/4 pounds ground chuck
1 large onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
2 (14.5 ounce) cans diced tomatoes
1 (16 ounce) can kidney beans
1 (16 ounce) can pinto beans
1 (16 ounce) jar salsa
1 (15.25 ounce) can corn
1 (15 ounce) can black beans
1 (14.5 ounce) can chicken broth
1 (1.25 ounce) package taco seasoning mix

In a Dutch oven, cook beef, onion, and garlice over medium-high heat until browned; stirring well until meat crumbles.  Drain well.

Stir in tomatoes and remaining ingredients.  Bring to a boil.  Reduce heat and simmer uncovered for 30 minutes. 

 

New Product Review

Valentine's Day was just a couple of days ago, and that can mean only one thing, faithful readers: it's time for Reese's peanut butter cup eggs. I went to the store the day after Valentine's Day in  hopes of getting some discount candy, and imagine my surprise to find that it was already cleared out and the Easter candy was in it's place.  Instead of fretting about it, I went straight for the Reese eggs.  I saw a display for a new fudge Reese's eggs, and had to try one. I knew the Hershey folks wouldn't let me down.  I figured that as long as they were in the Reese's family, they'd be awesome.  I wasn't wrong.  Dad and I ate ours in about two and a half bites. 

If you were some poor, unfortunate soul who'd never eaten a regular Reese egg before, you probably would not have been able to tell any fudgey difference.  But to Reese egg experts like me, you could tell a difference.  The chocolate covering was in deed fudgier, but to the untrained, the chocolate covering was just a bit thicker than on regular Reese eggs. The peanut butter filling was the same as on regular eggs, too. 

If I had my choice between a case of regular Reese eggs and Reese fudge eggs, I'd definitely go for the fudge eggs.  I'm glad that we've got about two months till Easter - that's two months that we'll be able to get our fill of new Reese fudge peanut butter eggs.  Get some today.  They definitely have earned the TWIT seal of approval.

Gas Price Update

It's been awhile since I've ranted and raved about gas prices - we were spoiled for a few days this week with gas being below $2 for the first time in probably a year.  But this afternoon, I witnessed the biggest spike in prices since this craziness started a year and a half ago. At noon today, gas was $1.96 a gallon; coming home this evening, it was $2.25.  I'll do the math for you - that's a 29 cent increase.  It makes no sense.  Other than the usual things going on, there's nothing really big happening right now to cause this, other than the Vice President accidentally shooting his friend while bird hunting.  Maybe that caused it.  Who knows.  All I know is I'm glad I filled up the BMW yesterday morning when it was still under two bucks a gallon.  I would have been crying the blues if I'd waited to fill up on my trip home from work. 

It's enough to get a person all riled up.  It's been a stressful week at home and at work, and as if that wasn't bad enough, I have to deal with gas going up 29 cents a gallon today. Yeah, I filled up the car when it was cheaper, but that's not the point.  The point is that there's no real reason that gas prices should have jumped up 29 cents today.  Sorry -  I just needed to vent some steam, faithful readers. Thanks for listening. 

Mullet Watch

The latest mullet sighting is brought to us by our newest mullet spotter CL.  This is not just any mullet sighting - this one is filled with firsts for Mullet Watch.  This mullet was spotted at the Winter Olympics in the pairs figure skating competition.  The mullet belongs to one the male half of the Chinese figure skating team.  It wasn't as long as most mullets we've spotted, but it was definitely a mullet.  And it was very wavy on top, too. 

Mullet count: 14

We Have A Winner

A few weeks ago, I introduced you to our latest game at work, Parking Lot Watch.  It didn't take very long for us to get a winner.  Faithful readers, please congratulate my friend, co-worker and faithful reader PW on being the winner of the 2006 edition of Parking Lot Watch.  He bought a brand-spanking new Camry this past weekend.   He originally hadn't planned on winning Parking Lot Watch this year, but somebody crashed into the back of his Saturn a couple of weeks ago, and the insurance company totalled it out, so he kinda had to get a new car.  Regardless of his intentions, he is still this year's winner.

Happy Valentine's Day

This was a great Valentine's Day.  It started out with getting a free breakfast, courtesy of a friend's ex-husband.  Before you jump to any conclusions, let me explain - he's also the brother of another friend, and I saw him at the convenience store this morning before work, and he bought me a country ham biscuit.  Then the day just kept on getting better after that - I got some decadent cherry cordial Hershey kisses from one co-worker, and a very good candy called Cherry Mash from another co-worker.  There were no major problems for me at work, either, so that made the work-day very pleasant. This Valentine's Day was topped off by a nice Chinese dinner with the 'rent's downtown.  I met them after work, and we had a great meal at our favorite Taste Of China restaurant across from church.   Honestly, they will always be my two biggest sweethearts.

As I was driving home a few minutes ago, I started thinking of Valentine's Day and happy love songs; not sappy but happy.  You know, there truly isn't that many.  So music lovers have to resort to old tried and true happy love songs.  On this Valentine's Day, I'd like to share my favorite happy love song with you, my faithful readers. With the AOL journal software, there's no easy way I can post the MP3 or wav file of the song, so for now, I'll give you the words.  It's written by two of my favorite songwriters from Nashville, Mary Ann Kennedy and Pam Rose.  It's called "Love Like This."

Love Like This

A king would trade his finest crown for love, love like this
And warriors have laid weapons down for love, love like this
Hearts will break a thousand times for love, love like this
And arms will wait a thousand nights for love, love like this
Love may come and love may go but here inside your arms I know
That only you will ever show me love like this

You and I have finally found love, love like this
A place to lay our burdens down, love, love like this
Hearts can speak without a sound in love, love like this
What makes the world keep turning round is love, love like this
Love may come and love may go but here inside your arms I know
That only you will ever show me love like this

The moon has never shown before on love, love like this
And I have never wanted more than love, love like this
Love, love like this

Puddin: 1, Refrigerator: 0

The current battle of Refrigerator Wars ended abruptly Friday evening at 4:35.  Armed with an iron will and aided by my friend and co-worker AF, I met the refrigerator head-on.  It only took us about 10 minutes.  It would have taken less than that, but we checked expiration dates on unopened yogurt and fruit cups.  One expiration date simply said "November."  After much discussion, we couldn't figure out if it meant November 2005 or November 2006.  Our motto was "when in doubt, throw it out" so in the garbage can it went. 

Another co-worker suggested that we get a digital camera and take a picture of the interesting things that we threw out, but there wasn't that many unusual or bizarre things this round.  There were two items, however, that did cause us both to gag. Let me give you some background - with the gross things that are talked about and dealt with at work (namely, poop) please know that it takes alot to gross any of us out.  But AF and I honestly did gag over these two things.  The first, and least gross, was a sandwich that was completely covered in dark green fur.  The second, and the grossest, could only be described this way:  it looked like a squashed frog inside a Ziploc bag.  Nuff said. 

I had a few emails today from co-workers, thanking me for cleaning out the fridge, and commenting on how nice it was to be able to put their lunches in there without having to use a crowbar.  We'll see how long it takes before it's jam-packed again.  I'll keep you posted.

 

Link Of The Week

I love to read - I always have. I inherited the love of reading from my Dad.  As a kid in elementary school, I lived for the Weekly Reader.  Once a month, they would have a special insert in the Weekly Reader where you could buy books.  That's where I found out about the awesome Dynamite magazine, of which I was a proud subscriber.  I  would read anything I could get my hands on.  I even remember reading "Gone With The Wind" when I was 12 years old - long before I saw the movie for the first time.  I remember reading and reading and reading, and thinking I was never going to finish the book because it was so long.

I still like to read today, but I don't have much time for it.  I decided a couple of weeks ago that I was going to make time to read more, even if it means spending less time on the internet.  In fact, I just started reading "Emma" by Jane Austen.  But thanks to the internet, I found a very cool website that will help me read more.  Go to http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/news/channel/1049 like I did and start reading.  Just pick out the book you want to read, just like at the library, and then start reading.  You can read online, or if you want, you can subscribe for free and join their book club, where they'll email you one chapter a day. 

If anyone of you, my faithful readers, join this book club and read some of the books, please email me or leave a comment in TWIT about it.  You can even do a book report on your book if you want.

Mullet Watch

The latest mullet sighting is brought to us by TWIT's frequent mullet spotter JMc.  His report brings us another first - a dyed mullet. Here's what he had to say:

We have a situation. I was headed toward the Home Depot yesterday when I saw it.  It was a cross between a Brady Bunch perm with a major mullet look. I don’t know if this man knew about the dangers that come with this thing perched on top of his head, but he was standing in the middle of Dixie Hwy right in front of the Peddlers Mall, which used to be Evans furniture, with some bags.  As he is looking south bound and as I was driving south bound I even noticed an Ambulance making a u-turn with his lights on in front of the Holy Cross driveway then he hit the siren.

That’s when the creature convinced his host to make a break for it.  That’s right, he somewhat fast walked or tried to run in front of the ambulance that was just 20 yards away and closing as it picked up speed.  What the hell…(hands out shoulders in a shrug)

Mullet Description:  Black (fake color)  Tall, very curly and below the shoulder.

Mullet count: 13

Who Says Disco Is Dead?

In case you've not watched the TV nor read the newspaper in the last few weeks, the Winter Olympics is going on.  The opening ceremonies were last night.  And to be honest, they were my favorite Olympic games opening ceremony that I've ever seen.  What made this one so great, you might ask?  Well, I'll tell you.  During the parade of athletes (where all of the athletes march in country by country) they played disco music.  Not techno from the 90's or today; hardcore disco from the late 70's.  I would have watched the opening ceremony any way, but getting to listen to disco music for a few hours was a major bonus.  It was almost like I was back in a diso, except I didn't have to pay a cover charge nor put up with cigarette smoke. 

You might think I'm exagerating a bit, and say "Oh come now, Puddin.  Maybe they played a couple of disco songs during the parade of athletes.  That we can believe."  No, I'm not exagerating.  For the entire time the athletes were marching in, disco music was playing non-stop.  Here's a few of my favorite songs they played and what country was marching in when the song was playing:

Finland - "Hot Stuff" by the queen of disco, Donna Summer
Hong Kong - "You Should Be Dancing" by the Bee Gees
Iran - "Funkytown" by Lipps, Inc. 

I think think this going to set the tone for a very cool Winter Olympics.  Good luck to all of the athletes, and stay safe.

Mullet Watch

The latest mullet sighting is brought to us by my fellow Diva, Stacy.  She's felt a tad bit like an outsider for the past month, not being able to spot a mullet.  But I knew she'd see one sooner or later.  I'm very surprised she didn't see this one walking downtown past her office window.  Here's the details, in her own words:

In all the madness at work this week, I forgot to tell you about the mullet sighting!

This one was a worker who came to my office Tues and Wed to reassemble the modular furniture we had taken apart for the carpet installation. 

The mullet was mostly gray and measured about 12-14” from it’s root.  Both days it was tied back in a ponytail, which was appropriate since the wearer was very busy reassembling the furniture.  Business in the front, but all pleasure in the back!!  Yeah, Baby!

Mullet count: 12

Update Friday

Happy Birthday
TWIT would like to wish my dear friend T a very happy birthday this weekend. Welcome to the 40 club, T.  You've seen how much fun I've had during my three years in the 40 club - it's not bad at all.  You'll enjoy it.  In fact, I think we need to call it the Fun Forties.   UCL to ya, T. 

I'm Glad Y'all Are Doing Better
I would like to personally give a shout out to some special people in my life. First of all, welcome back home, Polly.  She had very serious open-heart surgery two weeks ago, and is doing great.  She came home from the hospital last week, and says she feels fine.  Polly,  I'll give you a few more days to recuperate before I come over and then we can raid your refrigerator drawer.  You keep doing what the doctors say, Polly. I love you and need you around a few more years to watch my back.
Second, I'd like to welcome home my friend and neighbor Boots.  He was in the hospital for over a week with pneumonia.  You had us worried, Boots, and we're so glad that you're back home here in the 'hood where you belong.  You keep doing what the doctors say, too - we need to make a trip across the river again soon. 
Third, I'd like to say get well soon to my dear friend, neighbor, and second mother Bev. She's also Boots' daughter.  She had some major surgery on her hand and arm last week.  You listen to your doctors, too, Bev - we've got some bocce and corn hole to play this spring.

Thank You, Co-Workers
I'd like to thank some of my co-workers for giving me inspiration and encouragement this week on a new project I'm going to undertake.  Faithful readers, I think I'm going to write another book.  No, this new book won't be a novel like the one it looks like I'm never going to finish; this new literary endeavor will be a guidebook of sorts. I started tossing around some ideas with Diva Stacy, and one thing led to another and before I knew it, my small project snowballed into a big project.  Many thanks to my co-workers and faithful readers JMc, CLeg, and SH for your input and insight.  This will be your book, too, peeps.  As soon as I get some of the details ironed out, you all can expect a journal entry about the new book. I'll keep you posted.

WTG, G Fam
I'd like to congratulate the G family on their basement renovation.  It looks awesome.  I can't wait till we can christen it.  Why, just today, I was the winning bidder on a very cool autographed framed Terri Clark poster to hang on your Wall Of Memorabilia.  You guys rock.

I've Been Attacked

I met a friend for dinner last night, and ran an errand for Mom before I met my friend at the restaurant.  I went into the drugstore, found what Mom needed, and was in and out in less than 10 minutes.  Imagine my surprise when I got to the car and noticed that I'd been attacked.  I think that every bird in Jefferson county had some serious digestive system issues yesterday afternoon and they all decided to take it out on my just-washed BMW.  Not just on the hood of the car, but on the roof, the sides, and on the trunk.  If you ask me, I think they were just hiding in near-by trees, just waiting for an opportunity to punk me.  And punk me they did. 

I believe it was an act of vengeance.  For you see, yesterday morning on the way to work, I hit a blackbird.  It wasn't a premedicated murder - just an accidental death.  The bird was in the middle of Cane Run Road along with a few of his cronies, pecking at an old hamburger that someone threw out.  His cronies managed to fly away to safety, but he didn't.  From that moment on, I knew I was a marked woman.

A Letter To McDonalds

Dear McDonalds:

Thanks alot for adding to my clutter.  According to you and your commercials, I do deserve a break today, so give me a break and get rid of the little plastic bags that you now put condiments, plastic forks, and napkins in.  Now when I eat from your drive-thru, not only do I have the paper wrappers, cardboard boxes, or styrofoam containers to deal with, now I have the new little plastic bags to clutter up the front seat of my car. I don't need them.  I've done just fine all these years fishing my ketchup packets and plastic forks out of the sack. 

I don't know why you started doing this now.  Being a business major, do I really need to remind you that using those little plastic bags is going to cost you? Your first cost will be the money to buy the bags.  Your second cost could possibly be in customer satisfaction - customers in the drive-thru are not going to want longer while the PAT working at the counter has to go to the back and haul up another case of the little plastic bags.  It's something I hope you've already thought about.

I realize that some newly-hired MBA graduate probably did alot of cost analysis about the new little plastic bags.  They probably came to the conclusion that the customer would rather have their condiments and accessories in one convenient place when they're reaching into the bag.  But if you didn't try to cram 8 items into a paper bag designed to hold only 6 items, you wouldn't need to use those bulky cardboard or styrofoam boxes in the first place and we would be able to find our ketchup packets easier. 

I'm sorry I even had to write this letter to you - you are still my favorite burger place.  But I just had to get this off of my chest. 

Your long-time customer,

Puddin

I Think He Got A Raw Deal

I read an article online that kinda bothered me.  A public relations manager for the NBA team the Golden State Warriors was fired last week for something that I (and millions of others) are guilty of doing.  He was fired for forwarding an email.  This wasn't just any email; it was the Ghetto Prom pictures email. In case you're one of the few people that didn't get this email last spring during prom season, the email is a collection of 17 photographs of African American high school kids at their proms.  Most of the girls in the pictures are scantily clad in their supposedly formal attire.  According to the article, the guy forwarded this email to over 100 newspaper reporters, columnists and sports editors.  The guy apologized and said that he meant to send the email to his wife.  Riiiiight.

Yes, I agree with the guy's employer - he shouldn't have sent the email in a mass emailing, but I don't think the guy should have been fired for it.  If this is going to set a precedent, then I known quite a few upper-management people and executives that should be squirming right now - not for sending out an offensive email like the one in question, but for forwarding hoax emails about missing children and free gift certificates. 

Granted, the email was not pornographic or obscene - criteria listed in employee handbooks everywhere, warning us what we can and cannot send in company emails.  The Ghetto Prom has become an internet staple right up there with Elf Bowling.  The pictures in the email are not hidden-camera shots.  The kids posed for the pictures, and you can see how they put alot of effort and pride into their outfits and hairstyles.  If these kids are happy about their prom pictures, then good for them.

But it wasn't the photos in the email that were the problem - it was the inappropriate comments that someone had added to the photos.  We don't know if this guy added the comments or if the comments were already in the email when he received it.  At any rate, the guy made a huge mistake, and with one click of the mouse, his career imploded.  Now he's looking for a job.  Finding one won't be easy with that blunder on his resume.  But the guy does have one thing going for him:  I bet he never does anything like that again.

Favorite Super Bowl Commercials

1.  The Whopperettes - Burger King.   Once again, the new dynamic duo of  freaky Burger King and Brooke Burke star in another commercial.   This one gets my vote for the funniest commercial of the night.  The costumes were a scream - whoever designed the onion costumes and the beef patty costume deserves an award.  Only one more thing would have made this commercial funnier: if they'd had a Whopperette in a cheese slice costume. 

2.  Careerbuilder.com - Chimps Celebrate.  Careerbuilder.com does it again - yet another hilarious commercial with the chimps dressed in clothes.  The chimps are celebrating with champagne and are listening to Twisted Sister on their boom box, and the boss chimp literally has money to burn. Then the guy informs them that their chart is upside down - they've lost money instead of gaining.  Well the chimps want no part of that.  So they turn the graph upside down again and they crank up "Come, Feel The Noise."  I've said it before and it bears repeating - any commercial with chimpanzees in it is funny. 

3.  Careerbuilder.com - Jackasses. Those crazy chimps are at it again.  In this commercial, I can't decide which of the chimps is the funniest - either the one that's playing Windows solitare on his computer or the one that's frustrated and waving around a handfull of computer cords.  Like I said, chimps by themselves are hilarious, especially if they're wearing clothes.  Add in donkeys also wearing clothes and it's a recipe for one damn funny commercial. 

4.  Budweiser - Junior Clydesale.  It just dawned on me that we had an  animal-themed series of Super Bowl commercials.  Anyhoo, you can always count on the Clydesdale horses for a good commercial.  And who isn't a sucker for baby animal.  How could we resist the Clydesdale colt, thinking he was big and bad pulling the wagon? 

5.  GoDaddy.com - the GoDaddy girl.  For the record, let me say that my Dad liked this commercial (for obvious reasons). In this commercial, the GoDaddy girl has a wardrobe malfunction. 

6.  Honda Ridgeline - Mud Flaps.  This was another of my favorites. Who would have thought a Japanese auto manufacturer would use  mudflap icons the naked woman silouhette and Yosemite Sam? Who knew?

7.  Ameriquest - Medical Misunderstandings.  Talk about bad timing.  A mother and daughter visit their husband/father in the hospital, and walk in just as an intern is holding a set of di-fib paddles after he zapped a fly.  "That killed him" was probably said thousands of times in offices across America today. 

8.  Budweiser - The Streaker.  Once again, another great commercial with funny animals.  This time, the Clydesdales are playing football against rams, and during the game, a sheared ram runs onto the field, in a funny display of animal streaking.  I ask you - how in the world did they get that goat to dance on his hind legs like that?

9.  Bud Light - Magic Frig.  Even though they didn't have any commercials with Cedric the Entertainer, Bud Light still did pretty good this year.  A guy shows his buddy how he turned his refrigerator full of Bud Light into a revolving wall.  Only when he turns the wall around to supposedly save his beer from being drunk by his friends, the boys on the other side of the wall think they've hit the mother lode and the magic frig suddenly appears again.  The commercial ends with the boys on their knees, worshipping the magic frig.  I'm sure that was another buzz phrase heard today, too. 

10. Sprint - Crime Deterrant.  I wish I'd been the writers that thought up this one.  Pure genius.  Two guys are in the locker room after a round of golf, and one guy starts bragging about his new cell phone and all it can do.  The other guy puts him in his place when he says his phone is a crime deterrant.  He asks the other guy to test it out and try to steal his wallet.  The guy hits him in the head with his phone. Sheer advertising genius.

Worst commercials of the evening:                                                                          Pizza Hut - Cheesey Bites.  They snuck this commercial in at the beginning, while we were all waiting for the kickoff.  They had to, or else I think people would have left the room and not watched it any way.  Yes, it's not secret I'm not a big Jessica Simpson fan, especially not after she butchered Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Are Made For Walking."  Did the owners of the copyrights of the song not learn anything back in the 90's when Billy Ray Cyrus recorded a version of it?  I think the director of the commercial had to throw a bucket of water on the teenage boy when Jessica finished singing in front of him. 

Diet Pepsi - Brown And Bubbly.  An interesting pattern here - two companies owned by Yum! have my least favorite commercials in the Super Bowl.   Diet Pepsi should have left well enough alone with P.Diddy in their commercial during last year's Super Bowl. 

Mullet Watch

I spotted about half a dozen mullets this weekend. They weren't live in person, unfortunately, so they don't officially count.  But I think they're worthy of Honerable Mention.  I spotted them on a Tammy Wynette DVD that I got on eBay.  All of them were either in Tammy Wynette's band or in bands playing for other big country stars.  They were very well-styled and well-gelled mullets, too.  If anyone would like to borrow the DVD so you can see them, just let me know.

Link Of The Week

As you know from reading TWIT, I play the guitar.  I also know a few chords on other instruments - banjo, mandolin, even a dulcemer. I took fiddle lessons for about a month, but quit because everything I played sounded like two cats in a fight.  Everyone else in the house thought that way, too.  But I found a site that has given me inspiration to pick up the fiddle again.  If you've ever wanted to play the fiddle (or in this case, the violin) just get yourself a fiddle (or violin) and head to http://www.violinmasterclass.com and you can learn to play.  If any of you, my faithful readers, try it out, please email me and let me know how you're doing.  Maybe one day we'll get together and jam.

 

File Under: WTF?

Taiwan breeds fluorescent green pig
Colored swine will advance stem cell studies, researchers say

TAIPEI, Taiwan - Taiwan, home to the world’s first transgenic glowing fish, has successfully bred fluorescent green pigs that researchers hope will boost the island’s stem cell research, a professor said on Thursday.

By injecting fluorescent green protein into embryonic pigs, a research team at the island’s leading National Taiwan University managed to breed three male transgenic pigs, said professor Wu Shinn-Chih of the university’s Institute and Department of Animal Science and Technology.

“There are partially fluorescent green pigs elsewhere, but ours are the only ones in the world that are green from inside out. Even their hearts and internal organs are green,” Wu said on Thursday.

The transgenic pigs, commonly used to study human diseases, would help researchers monitor and trace changes of the tissues during the physical development, Wu said.

In 2003, a Taiwan company began selling the world’s first genetically engineered fish, sparking protests by environmentalists who said the fluorescent green fish posed a threat to the earth’s ecosystem.

In neighboring South Korea, disgraced stem cell scientist Hwang Woo-suk apologized on Thursday for wrongdoing at his laboratory, but hinted at a conspiracy to discredit him and said he was blinded by the zeal of advancing stem cell studies.

An investigation panel at Seoul National University said on Tuesday that a team led by Hwang faked two landmark papers on embryonic stem cells, but did produce the world’s first cloned dog.

 

Wow.  Does this mean that now we can have green eggs and green ham?

Mullet Watch

Faithful readers, we've set a new Mullet Watch record: today, we have not one, not two, but THREE mullet sitings all within a twenty-four hour period.  Thank you, faithful readers and mullet watchers for being so vigilant.  We've gone almost two weeks without a siting. I was beginning to think the mullets were in hibernation along with the groundhogs.

The first siting was made by our new co-worker C.L.  She said she was so excited, and couldn't wait to see me to give her report.  This mullet was spotted on the Watterson Expressway driving a rusty Smurf blue Chevrolet Celebrity.  That alone is humorous. The mullet was brown and very long.  She said that the rusty hoopty made her take notice, and she was thrilled to discover that a mullet was driving it.  C.L. also gives us our second siting.  In another first for Mullet Watch, C.L. spotted a child mullet.  She said this mullet was about 3 years old, and blonde.  Not that I doubt her reports, I still questioned the toddler mullet, just making sure it was an actual mullet and not just a tail.  She reassured me that it was in deed a full-grown child mullet. Incidentally, she said that the kid's father is bald.  Just another sad case of the parent living vicariously through their child.

The third mullet siting comes to us courtesy of two-thirds of the R & D department at work, J.M and C.Leg. (Since we have two C.L. mullet watchers, I'll have to differentiate their initials slightly.) Both of these fine mullet watchers have spotted a few mullets in the previous weeks, so they're old hat at mullet watching.  Here's what they had to say: 

I wanted to tell you about the mullet that we just witnessed at Hardee's.  J. M. noticed him first and he is definitely one to acknowledge.  He was a middle aged guy with dark hair and sporting what we like to call the "fuzzy" mullet.  The guy's hair had natural curl and you can only imagine what the rest looked like.   

Mullet count: 11

Wrong Number

We had a laugh earlier this week at work when a co-worker got a wrong number call on his cell phone.  The call was for "Lance."  I told him he should have asked if the person calling was Sheryl Crow.   Well, at least I thought was funny.

Today, my friend received two very interesting and cryptic text messages.  Due to the nature of the text messages, we don't think they were from whoever was looking for Lance. Message #1 said:

So you cant call 2 check up on ur unborn?

As you can see, my friend gave me the message verbatim, including the grammar.  The second message said:

Ok well we good don’t ack like that when it comes 2 u n yours cause hoes come a dime a dozen

I think I get the gist of this conversation. 

I'm jealous.  I never get any cool wrong-number text messages like that.  It would be well worth the ten cents it costs to send a message just to reply back. 

Happy Groundhog Day

In keeping with the age-old tradition, officials in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania dragged Phil the groundhog out of his hole this morning, causing him to see his shadow.  Yep, six more weeks of winter.  But, after all, it is February; do we really need a rodent to tell us that we still have six more weeks of winter left?  Couldn't everybody just look at the calendar and see that we actually have more than six weeks left until spring officially arrives?  We could, but it just wouldn't be as fun. 

The principle of Groundhog Day makes sense, though - after hibernating during the winter months, groundhogs (along with other animals that hibernate) come out to see if it's time to stop hibernating.  Makes sense to me.  I'd want to come out and check to see if it's time to come alive and start mating, too.  But animal experts will be the first to tell you that unfortunately for Groundhog Day lovers, most groundhogs don't come out of their burrows on February 2 of every year.  It's usually late March or early April when they come out to check on the weather.  Down in the groundhog's burrow, the temperature doesn't change with the weather, so the ground hog has to come outside to see if it's spring yet.  If it isn't, they go back down for another cycle.  The cycle, however, does not run six weeks, as in the legend.  Groundhogs rouse themselves from hibernation every two weeks. All time totalled, roundhogs hibernate on the average of 8 months.  Now that you mention it, we don't see them at The Compound except in the summer and early fall. Now I know why. 

Groundhog Day started in Europe, but it wasn't called Groundhog Day then.  The holiday was Candlemas, a Christian holiday.  The legend about the animal and its shadow was part of Candlemas, but back then the animal was a hedgehog.  The Pilgrims brought the tradition to America but couldn't find a hedgehog here, so they used the next best thing: a groundhog.

Warm temperatures have nothing to do with winter being over.  A Canadian researcher did a study and found out that the groundhog gets it right about 37 percent of the time.  If my reputation depended on predicting spring and I got it wrong 63 percent of the time, I'd rather be hibernating, too. 

 

Refrigerator Wars, 2006

Football fans all over the country are gearing up for this Sunday's Super Bowl.  The experts are predicting quite a battle between the Steelers and the Seahawks.  At work, it's time for another battle in the ongoing Refrigerator Wars.  This time, we're fighting for a co-worker's right to have his Pepsi.  My friend and co-worker B.C. brings a Pepsi to work almost every day, and puts the can in the [over-crowded] refrigerator.  Or should I say he attempts to put his can of pop in the frig.  A few weeks ago, B.C. couldn't find his Pepsi and discovered that someone had taken it.  Rumor has it that several covert ops were performed.  But he still couldn't find the culprit.

In and of itself, this is not anything new; it happens all the time at work.  Someone very thirsty will just help theirself to any soft drink or bottle of water in the frig, even if the can or bottle has someone else's name written on it.  Another co-worker had almost an entire twelve-pack of Diet Pepsi taken from the frig.  I ask you: how hardcore is that?

Just today, my friend B.C. discovered another oddity.  Today, he found his Pepsi can stuffed into the back of the refrigerator.  I think he stumbled upon the soft drink thief's M.O. - hiding the can in hopes that he would forget it and then the thief can swoop in and finish the heist.  Maybe we can look at the "Sharper Image" catalog and find a tiny web cam to install in the frig and catch the Pepsi thief red-handed.