Well Wishes From TWIT

There's a lto going in the lives of some of my dear friends and co-workers, so I'd like to take a few moments to shout out to some folks today.

Happy Birthday to:

John Zoeller -- CEO of Zoeller Company.  Even for a busy person like a CEO, John takes the time to wish each and every employee a happy birthday.  If he happens to be out of town on your birthday, he'll either email you or make it a point to stop by your office when he returns.  He does this not only for the office employees, but also for the factory employees.  That impresses me.

Pat S. -- a faithful reader, co-worker and one of the coolest friends I know. I'd like to give an extra shout out to her because she helped me out through a very messy thing about 10 years ago, and gave me some of the best advice a friend could give. She won't mind me telling this amusing anecdote about her husband, Smiling Jack (I call him "Smiling Jack" because he smiles when he sees me or one of the 'rents because he knows he'll end up getting major $$$ from us.)  Jack has a motorcycle, and they've always kidded about the funny t-shirts that alot of the male bikers wear; you know what I'm talking about - the shirts that have printed on the back "If you can read this, the bitch fell off."  Well, one of Pat's sisters gave her a shirt that says "The bitch paid for this bike."  You go, Pat.

Bon Voyage to:

Stacy -- my co-Diva.  Tomorrow, Stacy and the G family will be heading off to Florida where they will embark on a fun-filled Disney cruise.  They haven't even left yet and I miss them already.  I expect tos ee some pics of Mickey and Minnie to post in TWIT.

Get Well Soon to:

BLGMama -- she had a root canal yesterday.  I truly feel your pain. We wish you a speedy, pain-free recovery.  I'll get you some narcotics if you need them, BLGMama.  You know I got your back, girlfriend.

Bro. Jerry -- our dear friend and pastor at our church.  Yesterday, Jerry underwent major surgery to remove his shoulder prosthesis.  He'll be actually without a shoulder socket for six weeks while the infection clears up.  Then he'llundergo more surgery to put in a new shoulder prosthesis.

Sincere Apologies to:

The 'rents -- I'm sorry I turned into Cruella DeVille last night.  It was totally out of character for Puddin.  Thanks for putting up with me for 42+ years.  You guys rock.

Have It Your Way

By now, I'm sure you've seen the commercial for Burger King's Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch sandwich.  I can't decide if I think it's hilarious or if it freaks me out.  I think the commercial should fall under the "WTF?" category.  The first time I saw the commercial I thought "That can't be Darius Rucker dressed up like Cowboy Carl from Pee Wee's Playhouse?"  After looking on the internet, I found out it was in deed the lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish.  I guess times are hard and he needed some quick cash.

Some bloggers have compared the commercial to "The Wizard of Oz", mainly because the commercial begins in black and white and then goes to full color.  There's also a yellow brick road in the commercial, but this time it's built from blocks of cheese.  If you ask me, I'd compare it to Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit" - whoever wrote the commercial had to be on one far out trip. How could you come up with a line like "Dallas cheerleaders give you shaves" if you weren't on LSD?  The song is full of sexual innuendo, and there's quite a bit of action on the screen as Darius Rucker is singing in his fringed cowboy outfit while a chicken is spanking somebody on the ass.  I'm really surprised that Dr. James Dobson's "Focus on the Family" hasn't protested and asked that it be taken off the air, with as much fuss as he made about the "We Are Family" video.

The commercial is full of cameo appearances - not only do we have the lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish starring in this production, we also have the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, Brooke Burke, and Burger King himself.  Maybe it's not so freaky after all. 

Here's the words to the song in the commercial, in case you want to sing along:

When my belly starts a-rumblin’
And I’m jonesin’ for a treat
I close my eyes for a big surprise
The Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

I love the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
The breasts they grow on trees
And streams of bacon ranch dressing
Flow right up to your knees

There’s tumbleweeds of bacon
And cheddar paves the streets
Folks don’t diss you ‘cause you got the juice
There’s a train of ladies comin’ with a nice caboose
Never get in trouble, never need an excuse
The Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

I love the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
No one tells you to behave
Your wildest fantasies come true
Dallas cheerleaders give you shaves
Red onions make you laugh instead
And french fries grow like weeds
You get to veg all day
All the lotto tickets pay
There’s a king who wants you to have it your way
That’s the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

I know - it doesn't make any more sense when you have the words there in front of you. 

A/S/L?

I love the internet; I love it even more now that I have broadband and wireless connection on my laptop.  I probably spend too much time on the internet, but it's a great pasttime for me.  I got AOL service in 1997, and for the first few months, I was pretty clueless about the internet and the subculture of chat rooms.  My first experience in a public chat room was horrible.  The second night that I had AOL, I found an X-Files chat room.  I went "in" and expected the chatters to welcome me with open arms.  Boy, was I wrong.  I was ignored.  Chat rooms are the most clique-ish places you'll find.  Well, I had had enough of that after about a half hour.  The next day I was telling a friend about my virgin chat room experience, and he told me about an AOL chat room that he visits regularly.  He said this room had no theme - it was just people like us that chatted about anything.  He emailed me a link, along with instructions telling me to click on the link (remember - I had only had AOL for one day and didn't know what in the hell to do).  I went to the chat room and loved it.  The chatters were just like me - people who work during the day, and who enjoy a little down time by chatting.  The group wasn't the least big clique-ish; on the contrary.  When I entered the room, all 20+ chatters said hello.  The time in this chat room was filled with chatting about current events, tv, music, sports - things that we would normally talk about at work or when we're out with friends.

I didn't chat too much the first few times I was in there - I was too busy "listening" and tyring to decipher their internet abbreviations.  The most frequently used abbreviation is LOL.  For those of you who may have just gotten internet connection and don't know, it means "laughing out loud."  I was able to figure out some other abbreviations used, but one had me puzzled.  When someone (not a room regular) would enter the room, they would often ask "A/S/L?". The room regulars would ignore this question.  My curiosity got the best of me and I sent an IM (instant message) to my friend and asked him what it meant.  He said "age/sex/location."  Ohhhhkay.  I was just introduced to the internet's version of cruising.  My friend replied "LOL."  He said that in some instances yes, but in most cases, the people just wanted to know who they were chatting with.  It made sense to me.

42/F/KY for me.  What about you?

Gas Price Update

Most expensive:  Citgo, Cane Run Road at I-264  $2.19

Least expensive:  Thorntons, corner of Algonquin Parkway and 7th Street  $2.05

I Like Spinach

I'm not a real picky eater; I just don't like a lot of vegetables.  I like green beans, especially French style, and lettuce, and I love green peppers.  But that's about it in the green vegetable department. I won't touch any of the cooked greens, like spinach, kale, etc., but I love spinach dips that all the restaurants have now.  I also like raw spinach when it's in salad form.  A spinach salad with a warm, sweet vinegarette dressing is a welcome break from the usual creamy ranch dressing.  I'm first to admit that it's weird -- I'll eat spinach dip and raw spinach, but I wouldn't eat cooked spinach.  Until yesterday.  Easter 2005 will go down in history as the day that I ate cooked spinach, and actually liked.  AND took a second helping. 

Let me preface by saying that it wasn't like I plopped a bunch of plain cooked spinach on my plate and ate it up - it had some help in the form of chopped onions, sliced mushrooms and mozarella cheese.  But cooked spinach was the central focus in this casserole. It was awesome. The recipe comes from an old restaurant here in Louisville called Mazzoni's Oysters. There wasn't any left for me to bring with my lunch today;  it was that good.  I guess my Mom was right about this after all - she says I'd eat anything if it had cheese or brown gravy on it.  Looks like she was right about the spinach.  Here's the recipe should any of you, my faithful readers, like to try it.  Save some for me.

Mazzoni's spinach bake

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 medium onion, diced
1½ pounds frozen spinach, thawed and squeezed very dry
1 egg, lightly beaten
2½ cups sliced mushrooms
1¼ cups shredded mozzarella
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
2 teaspoons dried basil

Heat oil in a pan. Cook onions over medium-low heat until translucent, 8 to 10 minutes. Set aside. Heat the oven to 350 degrees.

Make sure as much moisture is squeezed out of the spinach as possible. The best way is to thaw in a colander, then press down on the spinach when it is thawed. Then, turn spinach out on a clean dishtowel, and squeeze it well over the sink, to catch any further moisture. (If the spinach is not very dry, Mazzoni's chef April Thomas warns, the casserole will be soupy.)

In a large bowl, mix spinach and onion. Add beaten egg, mushrooms and cheese, salt, pepper and basil. Mix very well. Turn spinach-egg-cheese mixture into a 13-by-9-inch casserole. Bake in a 350-degree oven 30 minutes or more, until casserole is set in the middle.

Serves 8.

Nutrition data: 130 calories, 7 grams fat, 10 grams protein, 9 grams carbohydrate, 4 grams fiber, 470 milligrams sodium.

Link Of The Week

I love surfing the internet. I often lose track of time when I get engrossed in reading and researching online.  I don't just use the internet and computer for games at Pogo.com - I get a lot of sheet music, guitar tablature, and song lyrics online. I also read recaps of All My Children episodes that I miss.  I get alot of recipes online, too.  One of the best places online to go when you want to find out about anything is www.about.com.  Most of the time when I use my Internet Explorer or MSN search engine to do a search, it will usually bring up a few hits from about.com pages. 

We're Finally Above Average

It pains me to say that Kentucky is ranked below-average for things like our school systems, per capita income, high school graduates, etc.  The list could go on and on.  But we've finally reached above average on one thinIt pains me to say that Kentucky is ranked below-average for things like our school systems, per capita income, high school graduates, etc.  The list could go on and on.  But we've finally reached above average on one thing - gas prices.  This morning on Good Morning America, Barbara Walters said that the average price per gallon in the U.S. is $2.11.  Hahhhhh.  Just a block away from work, it's $2.25.  Like this is something to be proud of?

I know we've already discussed the gas prices here in TWIT, and even started a weekly post about the cheapest and most expensive gas, but it's the hot topic right now.  People are actually using more gas to drive miles away to get gas a nickel cheaper.  I kid you not.  I hear it all the time from co-workers and friends at home.  People will actually drive out of their way to save a few cents on gas.  Sure, it costs a small fortune to fill up my BMW, but I'll be damned if I'm going to drive out of my way and use a gallon of gas to buy gas a few cents cheaper than it is up the street from my house.  It's not gonna happen.  I lucked out last night, however.  I ran out to the Super WalMart, just across the Bullit county line, to get some new glasses at their vision center, and a gas station next to the WalMart had gas for the unheard of price of $2.08. The "please refuel" light had just come on as I pulled into the WalMart parking lot, so the timing was perfect.  I felt like I'd won a big jackpot out in Vegas - filling the BMW up for $2.08 a gallon.  Add to that the fact that I'll get reimbursed for my new glasses from my medical reimbursement account here at work, it was a great evening. 

The Legend of Hogzilla

The majority of the forwarded stories pictures, and chain emails we get can quickly dispelled as urban legends by checking out some of the urban legend websites.  Some stories, however, aren't easily verified.  A few unbelievable stories prove to be in deed true.  Such is the case with the legend of Hogzilla. 

Back in July, Chris Griffin of Alapha, Georgia claimed that he killed a 12 foot long wild hog on a friend's plantation.  He said the hog weighed 1000 pounds and had tusks almost a foot long.  Suspiscions arose when a photo of Chris standing beside the dead hog was the only proof that Hogzilla existed.  Griffin and the owner of the plantation buried the giant hog on the property and didn't want to mess with slaughtering it, since the meat of large feral hogs is typically not good.  They also said that the hog's head was too big to mount on a wall; they said the head was the same diameter as a tire on a compact car.  The men said they had to life him with a backhoe.  For those unfamiliar with this breed of swine, feral hogs, or more commonly known as wild hogs, are simply domestic hogs that escaped from farms and began living off the land.  These wild hogs are hunted and killed because of their aggression, and how they can destroy entire fields of corn and peanuts. 

Since there were no other witnesses, the legend of Hogzilla turned into an urban legend.  It would have been easy to alter a photograph in Photoshop and make it look like a 6 foot tall man was dwarfed by a giant hog.  But a team of experts from National Geographic have confirmed that Hogzilla was real.  And was real big.  The team donned biohazard suits and exhumed the hog's remains.  They reported that Hogzilla wasn't quite as big as it's captors claimed - it was 'only' 8 feet long and weighed about 800 pounds. They also reported that it's tusks were 18 inches long.  Ken Holyoak, owner of the plantation where Hogzilla was killed, argues that it did in deed weight 1000 pounds when they weighed it on his farm scales.  They will get no argument from me -- that's one big hog. 

Let Me Rest In Peace

As you all know, I try to keep my posts in TWIT funny and/or informative, and I keep [most of] my opinions on controversial subjects to myself.  I decided last week that I would not comment on the horrific Terri Schiavo case, but I've received several emails and calls from you, my faithful readers, asking me to write about it.  So here it is - my opinion on the Terri Schiavo case.  I'm not going to choose sides on this - all I can do is tell you what I would want or would not want if I were Terri Schiavo.

I would not want to live that way.  If I couldn't laugh, or sing, or be able to communicate to my family and friends that I love them, I wouldn't want to live with no quality of life.  I would not want to be in the persistent vegetative state, a phrase we'd heard little about until a couple of weeks ago.  An online medical dictionary defines persistent vegetative state as "a condition in which individuals have lost cognitive, neurological function and awareness of the environment, but retain noncognitive function and a sleep-wake cycle."  This is commonly referred to as being brain dead - when the person is technically alive (they're breathing and their heart is still beating) but their brain is dead. 

I would not want my parents put through a living hell.  I wouldn't want them to watch me just laying in some hospital bed.  I wouldn't want them to live their lives in one continuous dream - hoping that after being brain dead for over 15 years, I would recover. 

I would not want the government, state nor federal, making the decision about when I die.  I think it's ridiculous that the gonvernment - from the state level all the way to the Oval Office - has gotten involved in this.  But then again, they're right in the middle of the steroids-in-baseball drama, too.  It's embarassing to see our elected officials make nonsensical statements about this case, as if they were medical experts.  Rep. Anne Northup, a woman I once greatly admired and voted for, said "She is not on life support, nor is she in a coma."  Well, yes and no, Anne.  No, Terri Schiavo is not in a coma.  Yes, Terri Schiavo was on life support.  The feeding tube was as much life support as a ventilator. 

I would not want my parents and my spouse on opposite sides of my life and death.  Thanks to the Living Will that I have, hopefully that will never happen.  I pray that the people that I love will follow my instructions. If the doctors caring for me say there is no hope that I will ever recover, then let me die with dignity, and not as the cause of a great political and ethical debate. 

I urge you, my faithful readers, to take some time this week if possible, and get a Living Will.   Make sure your family, friends, and your lawyer know that you have one. 

I pray that you will rest in peace, Terri Schiavo. 

Congratulations, Pat Summitt

TWIT would like to congratulate Pat Summitt for being a part of NCAA history.  Last night, when her Lady Vols opened a can of whoop ass on Purdue and beat them 75-54, Summitt became the winningest college basketball coach.  This was win # 880 for Summitt, breaking the long-standing record of 879 wins by my beloved Dean Smith.  This win will send the Lady Vols to the Sweet Sixteen of the women's NCAA tourny.   The 52-year-old Summitt's record is 880-171 in 31 years at Tennessee, while Smith was 879-254 when he retired in 1997 after 36 years with the Tar Heels.

Pat's 79-year old mother Hazel was there for the historic game, along with Pat's husband and son.  To make the event even more prestigious, NCAA officials presented Summitt with the game ball and a plaque and the university announced that the basketball court at Thompson-Boling Arena will be called "The Summitt." 

I'm not a huge college basketball fan, but I've always admired Pat Summitt for her coaching style. I remember watching the HBO documentary "The Cinderella Season: The Lady Vols Fight Back."  HBO followed the Lady Vols for the 1996-97 season, filming their every move on and off the basketball court.  This was one of the better sports documentaries I've watched.  Pat didn't hold anything back when she ripped into the team in the locker room after a huge loss to Stanford.  All of the players were holding their heads down in shame, and about half of them were crying.  Pat told them "As bad as you played tonight, you need to cry."  A perfect example of tough love in action.  Another memorable part of the show was when the cameras filmed Summitt during a recruiting trip.  She visited a recruit at the girl's family farm.  The girl agreed to come to UT, and her father started talking about basketball with Summitt.  He made a comment about his daughter's playing and what she should do with the Lady Vols, and Summitt simply smiled and told the man "I'll make a deal with you, sir.  You don't tell me how to coach basketball, and I won't tell you how to farm." 

Way to go, Pat.  Keep up the good work. 

Grand Theft Auto?

There were tense moments today as the silver Buick Century was missing from the Zoeller fleet of company cars.  Keep in mind the keys to the company cars are kept in an old wooden salad bowl on top of a file cabinet in the purchasing department manager's office, while bags of ice are kept out in a freezer that is padlocked.  The Buick was recovered, er, found, across the river at the Holiday Inn in New Albany, where it was dropped off last week after a trip to a subsidiary up in northern Indiana. 

Spending of the Green

My BMW has been in the shop for a week and a half getting it's yearly check-up and maintenance.  Last Thursday was St. Patrick's Day, the day for the wearing of the green; yesterday when I got the car back, it was the day for the spending of the green.  I got by with having to pay only $636.  I was thrilled.  If I could do a cartwheel, I would have done one in the AutoMotion parking lot.  After talking to a guy that works in the plant who also has a 750, I was expecting it to be about a grand.  The repairs weren't anything major, thank goodness - just minor things, but they add up.  Besides getting an oil change, and servicing the transmission and differential, they flushed the brake lines and the radiator, replaced some fuses, and fixed a power steering fluid leak.  The most expensive repair was tracking down a short in the a/c system.  They fixed the short, pumped it full of freon and guaranteed that it would be a freezer on wheels.  I told them I would be the judge of that. 

Now that I've given you TMI (too much information) about the intimate details of my BMW's annual maintenance, here's a look at my car in terms of numbers:

12   cylinders
9.5  quarts of oil to fill it up
2     mufflers
26   gallon gas tank
3     windshield washer fluid resevoirs
3     heating and a/c controls in the interior
9     heat and a/c vents
9     cd's in the cd changer
24   FM stations that can be programmed
7     pounds of freon to fully charge the a/c system
4.5  quarts of transmission fluid to fill it up
210 highest mph reading on the speedometer

Tales of the Bizarre

My family and I joke about going to Value City.  Dad says he won't go there during the first week of the month, when all of the checks arrive.  (He's a very smart man.  I need to listen to him more often.)  We make other crude comments about the store and its clientele, which I won't print in TWIT, but yet we still shop there.  Hey - they have great deals.  With us being nowhere close to the first of the month, Mom and I thought we'd be safe to go there yesterday afternoon.  It was packed.  Everybody was out buying their Easter outfits, but we were there to shop for pillows.  While we were shopping, we witnessed one of the most bizarre things that we'd ever seen on a shopping trip: we saw three different men wearing a black patch over an eye.  It's odd to see one man wearing a black eye patch, and even odder to see two in the same store, but to see three at the same store, all within an hour is down right bizarre.  It would have been even freakier if they'd been together. 

I saw yet another bizarre thing this weekend.  Saturday morning, as I was pulling out of the post office parking lot, I saw the same woman mentioned in TWT in January.  Here's a link to the post if you need to refresh your memory -- http://journals.aol.com/puddinprp/ThatsWhatImThinking/entries/1608.  Just like in the January post, the woman was all bundled up with her hooded coat and gloves.  She was also carrying the same red Teletubby doll like before. 

Gas Price Update

Today, I'm starting a new weekly feature in TWIT - gas price update.  Each Monday morning, I'll give the highest and lowest prices for regular unleaded that I found during the weekend.  Please comment if you saw a gas station that has it cheaper or more expensive than the ones I list.  I like to pass on correct information to my faithful readers. 

Most expensive   Marathon, corner of Cane Run Road and Algonquin Parkway  $2.25

Least expensive   Thorntons, corner of 7th Street and Algonquin Parkway   $2.09

 

 

Link Of The Week

During the highly acclaimed Divas Las Vegas trip two years ago, Stacy and I began a trip ritual - writing down something interesting that we overhear.  When taken out of its context, it's pretty funny an often times makes no sense.  One of the more interesting things we overheard was during breakfast at Mr. Lucky's 24/7 at the Hard Rock Hotel.  Two business men were at a table to our right, and apparently they were talking about the previous night when one of the business-suited men said ". . . and I couldn't get her off of my lap."  Maybe he was talking bout his dog or fidgety child, but I don't think so.  After all - we were in Sin City.  I keep a running list of things overheard in a little notebook, and they will make for an interesting journal entry one day.  Until then, I've got an interesting site that deals with this very subject.  My new friend KGRamone sent me a link to this site appropriately called "Overheard In New York."  Just go to http://www.overheardinnewyork.com and you can read some funny and truly bizarre things that people overheard in New York City.  Most of the things overheard were overheard bypeople waiting for or on the bus or subway.  Some of these make the lap comment seem very tame by comparison.

Check out this site.  And be careful what you say - somebody is probably listening.

Spring Is Here, Sorta

Spring has arrived in the Ohio Valley.  I know that spring doesn't officially begin until tomorrow, but I think it's already here.  The week started off on a wintry note when we awoke Monday morning to two inches of snow.  It was one of the prettiest snows that I've seen.  The prettiest part was the fact that there wasn't any snow on the streets and driveways. And it was all gone before lunchtime, too.  Once the snow was out of here, things started to warm up, and we actually saw the sun.  It's warmed up this week, and the temperatures have soared into the 60's.  Yep, spring is here.

There's a couple of ways you can tell spring is here besides looking at the thermometer.  First of all, just look at the bustops on your way to work in the morning.  The big down-filled parkas are gone and have been replaced by thinner nylon jackets.  You still see some ski caps, but then again, some of the grunge kids wear those in the summer.  Another way you can tell spring is here is to go outside and just listen - the birds are chirping.  Even at 4:00 in the morning, the birds are chirping.

We were roused from our slumber in the wee hours Wednesday morning by the sounds of sirens and commotion down the street when a semi misjudged his distance and tore down some utility wires.  Thursday morning was our weekly wake-up call from the Rumpke man (although I will give him credit - he is MUCH quieter than he was before, but we can still hear him nonetheless).  Friday morning, the birds were chirping right outside my bedroom window at 4:00 a.m. As loud as they sounded, I'm guessing they were the size of an emu.  I know I shouldn't complain because the birds chirping are a sign of spring, but do they have to chirp at 4:00 in the morning?  The female birds are pregnant right now - shouldn't they be sleeping and getting their rest?

I May Never Leave The House

As most of you know, I don't enjoy going to the movie theaters.  But I do love my digital cable.  I especially enjoy the old shows like "Big Valley", "Green Acres", and "The Beverly Hillbillies".  You can turn on the TV at any time of the day or night, and chances are you can find at least one cable channel showing Andy Griffith.  Even though I don't go to the movies, I watch alot of movies on the [many $$$] movie channels that I get.  In addition to the movies, I'm a faithful viewer of a few of the Showtime Original Series.  They're kinda like soap operas, in that they're a serial.  But unlike the soaps, if you miss a weekly episode of  Showtime Original Series, you miss out on quite a bit. I missed the Sunday night episode of a Showtime Original Series, and forgot to tape the replay on Wednesday night.  I was bummed.  I checked the Showtime website for the schedule, and saw that it was available on Showtime On Demand.  As much as I enjoy my cable, I thought I'd call Insight and get that added to my cable package; it shouldn't be more than four or five bucks extra a month.  Here's a transcript of my phone call to Insight Communications and the conversation between me and the customer service representative:

Insight CSR: Thank you for calling Insight Communications.  How may I help you?
Me: I would like to add Showtime On Demand to my cable package.  Could you tell me how much extra it will be a month?
Insight CSR:  You already have Showtime On Damand, as well as HBO On Demand AND Cinamax On Demand.  There is no extra charge - it's included as part of your digital package. Was there anything else I could help you with today?
Me: Uhhhhh, no, thank you. 

After I got over my initial reaction of feeling like a fool, I almost did the happy dance.  I told a few people about it, and they were, like, "Oh yeah, didn't you know that?"  Helloooo.  If I knew it, do you think I would have called Insight and asked about it?" Anyhoo.  I'm thrilled to death knowing that I have the On Demand channels.  As soon as I got in from work last night, I ran to the living room and started playing with the remote and taped a few things.  This is almost as thrilling as when I got my Insight broadband internet connection last month.  I may never leave the house now. 

Happy Birthday, Nancy Wilson

TWIT would like to say happy birthday to rock and roll icon Nancy Wilson.  Nancy and her sister Ann are the founders of the rock group Heart.  Nancy turns 50 today.  And she can still rock with the younger ones. 

To me, Nancy Wilson is an icon because she was the first woman in rock and roll to play the guitar.  Until Nancy's group Heart came along, the closest thing rock and roll had to a woman guitar player was Joan Baez or Joni Mitchell playing folk songs on their acoustic guitars.  Sure, rock had awesome women singers in bands -- Janis Joplin and Grace Slick to name a couple -- but Nancy was the first to play the electric guitar.  Nancy Wilson is the reason I learned to play the guitar. 

It was the summer of 1976.  We were out in California on vacation, and my cousin and his wife took me to one of the California Jam concerts.  It was truly a life-changing experience.  They introduced Heart and they came out on stage and I was awestruck -- there on the stage was a young woman playing the electric guitar.  Not some folk guitar - she was playing a Gibson Les Paul electric guitar.  And she was tearing it up.  And there next to her on stage, was another womanm, her sister, belting out "Crazy On You."  I had an epiphany.  At that moment, I knew that playing the guitar was what I wanted to do.  As soon as we got back home from vacation, I got Dad's guitar and a "Country Hits of the 60's" book and taught myself to play. Interestingly enough, the first song I learned to play on the guitar was "Stand By Your Man,"  followed by Heart's "Crazy On You."  The first guitar I bought was an Ovation acoustic just like Nancy played.

I've spoken to other women that play the guitar, and they, too, say that Nancy Wilson was their biggest musical influence.  I just wonder if Nancy ever thinks about all of the young women back in the 1970's that she inspired to become guitar players?  We owe her a huge debt of thanks.  Happy birthday, Nancy.  You rock. 

Huh?

I'm first to admit that I'm far from being an officer with the Grammar Police.  But I've been in school enough to know what's right and what's wrong. I also know what is a real word and what is a non-word.  Here's my favorite non-words that I hear repeatedly at work. For confusing words,  I've even used the word in a sentence so you get the right context.

1. simular  - - "These two items are simular in size."

2. nucular - -  (borrowed from George W. Bush) "Do you think the north Koreans really have all of those nucular weapons?"

3. holt  - - "I got holt of some NASCAR tickets."

4. dispensation - - This has nothing to do with asking for forgiveness from the Catholic church.  This is a word native to ZCO. There's a term we use in our returned goods department called "disposition".  Simply put, when an item is returned here, it's inspected, and the item's disposition is entered into the computer - meaning, what was wrong with it. One of the IT bigwigs uses "dispensation" instead of "disposition" and now others use it, too. It drives me crazy.

5. orientated - - I'm not real sure what this person was trying to convey. "I got the part orientated on the table."

6. in my personal opinion - - the last time I checked, "my" is as personal as you can get. 

7. Gatlinsburg - - "We're going to rent a cabin at Gatlinsburg."

8. Illinoiz - - "They sure get a lot of snow up in Illinoiz."

9. copastetic - - I think they mean "copasetic".  "Everything is just copastetic."

10. angioplastic - - "My mother-in-law had a heart attack and now they have to do angioplastic."

11. itch - - "This bug bite is driving me crazy.  I've got to itch my leg."

Let's Hear It For My Peeps

When you ask people what their favorite Easter candy is, most likely you'll get "jelly beans" or "chocolate bunnies."  If you ask me, I'll say "Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs."  Another candy has gained new popularity in recent years:  Peeps.  Peeps has found their place of prominance among the jelly beans and chocolate eggs.  They just look fun. I ask you -  what's more fun to eat -- the brown body part off of a chocolate bunny, or a purple Peep chicken? 

A decade or two ago when we first started seeing fat-free foods, Peeps were the the first candy to proclaim itself fat-free.  I think this has caused the popularity to grow.  It's not Atkins-friendly, but if people are on a fat-free diet, they can indulge in some Peeps and not feel guilty.  One Peep is only 32 calories, and zero grams of fat. 

Peeps are made by Just Born, Inc., located in Bethlehem, PA.  The first Peeps were made in 1953.  They were made by hand with a pastry tube, and it took an amazing 27 hours to make just one Peep.  Today, they entire process of making one Peep takes just 6 minutes, and the factory cranks out an impressive 4.2 million a day.  That comes to over 1 billion Peeps a year,  Just Born produces the Peeps year round, so it's a good thing they have a shelf life of 24 months. They're already chewy, so I guess you'd never know if they were stale.  Back in the day, you could only get Peeps during Easter.  They added rabbit and egg Peeps, and then started adding other holiday Peeps - red hearts for Valentine's Day, green Shamrocks for St. Patrick's Day, orange pumpkins for Halloween, and white snowmen and green Christmas trees.  If you look in any drugstore, I'm sure you can find some form of Peep year-round. 

People are picky about their Peeps.  A friend here at work likes to eat them stale.  She'll buy a bunch at Easter and open the wrappers and let them get hard.  Another friend of mine will eat then only after he's dunked them in hot chocolate.  Another friend said she likes microwaved Peeps.  She said they expand in the microwave, and you think they're going to explode.  If they did, you'd be cleaning Peep guts from the inside of the microwave for weeks.  One way I don't recommend eating Peeps is to toast them in a firelike regular marshamallows.  The sugar coating will burn and it will be like eating charcoal.  Yes, that is experience talking. 

March Madness

March Madness has begun.  No, I'm not talking about the NCAA tournament, which will cause a major loss of productivity in businesses and companies all across America as people fill out their picks in the brackets.  I'm talking about true March Madness -- Girl Scout cookies. 

Let me preface by giving you a piece of Girl Scout cookie trivia: Girl Scout cookies are made at a cookie factory less than a mile from the Zoeller Company.  The factory is called Mother's Cookies.  But for a few months each winter, it becomes Little Brownie Bakers.  All of the Girl Scout cookies sold are made in this factory.  In fact, this year marks the 25th anniversary of Little Brownie Bakers making the cookies. 

I'll repeat that Girl Scout cookies are the true March Madness.  For four weeks beginning at the end of January, we're subjected to countless order forms stuck on bulletin boards at work, school, and church, and passed around the office through inner-office mail. Then the first week of March is that magical time when the boxes of cookies start to appear.  Boy, do they appear.  For the entire month of March, we can't go to the bank or grocery store without passing by a group of Girl Scouts selling their cookies.  The scene is fairly universal -- there's usually a half dozen Girl Scouts, with 2 or 3 moms, selling the boxes of cookies stacked on a card table.  I will say this year's Girl Scout cookie experience has been easier to deal with then in years past.  This year, the Girl Scouts I've encountered have all waited until I was leaving the bank or grocery store to ask if I'd like to buy any cookies.  And they've all been very polite and mannerly; that goes a long way with me.  The Girl Scouts that been selling cookies at our Kroger's are some of the best little salespeople I've seen; Circuit City could definitely take lessons from them.  They have 2 of the girls planted at the doors and they ask if you'd like to buy any cookies.  When you say yes, they step aside and with a swoop of their little arms, they direct you over to the card table to pick out your cookies.  As soon as I picked up the boxes I wanted to buy, another girl was running over to the cases and filled up the empty spots almost as soon as I'd picked up the boxes.  Another girl was the official counter, and looked atthe handwritten chart to find my total.  And yet another girl put the cookies in a bag for me.  How's that for service?  I didn't get treated half that well at Kroger's after dropping $60 on groceries. 

I had a box of Tagalongs last week, and I polished off my first box of DoSiDo's this morning, so I guess I'll just have to go up to Krogers tonight and buy some more.  If you haven't bought any, time is running out - you have just two short weeks before the sales end.  While you're out, pick up another box of DoSiDo's for me. 

Link Of The Week

With all of the income tax refund checks rolling in now, some of you might decide to use your refund as a down payment on a new/used car.  I say go for it.  President Greenspan will be thrilled to know you're doing your part to keep stimulating the economy.  Personally, my $124 refund is hardly enough to use as a down payment on my new dream car, the Chrysler 300.  So I guess I'll keep the BMW and Blazer another year. 

But if must go out and get a car with your income tax refund, to a little homework first.  Go to http://www.vehix.com and do some research first.  You can check out new and used cars, get insurance quotes, and you can even see what your current car would look like if you painted it a different color.  Personally, I'm thinking of getting of the Coca Cola can red on my Blazer and going with midnight blue. 

 

It's Just A Concert

I went to the Ted Nugent/Toby Keith concert last night.  This afternoon, I still have ringing in my ears and can't hear anything.  I was practically yelling at the 'rents last night when I got home.  I would have paid good money for a pair of ear plugs like they wear at work in the factory.  Our seats were on the 15th row on the floor, and one of the massive mountains of speakers was blowing a bizillion decibels of sound right in our direction. Just writing this makes me feel old, but I can't help it - it was just too loud.  Don't get me wrong - it was a great concert, even though it was loud.  This as the first time I'd seen Toby Keith in a big concert setting.  The only other time I saw him was back in 1992 at a local country nightclub.  The then unknown Toby Keith was performing along with another unknown country singer named Shania Twain.  I'd say they both done pretty good for themselves; they're only two of the biggest stars in country music today. 

There was a low point during last night's "Big Throwdown" concert.  I knew that Toby Keith is a huge pro-American troops supporter; he's spent weeks in Afghanistan and Iraq with the USO performing for the troops.  I admire him for that.  I also knew that Ted Nugent was a big pro-American troops supporter, and a big NRA supporter.  What I wasn't expecting was Ted Nugent's portion of the concert to turn into a political rally.  Before he came on stage, they played Ray Charle's "America" and it was very cool. Then when Ted came out on stage, he was carrying a big American flag, and he led all 10,000 people in Freedom Hall in the Pledge of Allegiance.  That was very cool, too.  Mid-way through his set, he said something to the affect of 'any place other than America sucks.' Ohhhhkay. Then for his last song titled "Kiss My Ass", he included the names of different people, mainly Democrats and anti-Bush supporters. For instance, he told the Dixie Chicks to kiss his ass, along with Jesse Jackson, Ted Kennedy, the United Nations, Janet Reno, John Kerry, Bill and Hillary Clinton, and a host of others.  Come on, Ted - I paid out the butt for a ticket to this concert; I didn't pay to go to a political rally.  I was already disappointed going in to this concert -- I had 5th row seats for Toby last June, when my country favorite Terri Clark was opening for him, but the theater in Cincinnati got flooded and they cancelled the show.  I think Toby's record label and management needs to rethink his concert strategy.  When Terri Clark opened for him on the first half of "The Big Throwdown" tour, the concert was setting attendance records.  At Freedom Hall Friday night, the arena was about 2/3 full.  I guess they ones that stayed home knew the show would be a political rally. 

Shiesters Can Advertise, Too

For the past few weeks, we've been watching the early Fox news in our lunchroom at work.  With all of the local drama over the David Camm case and with the Michael Jackson trial going on, we like to be informed.  During this half-hour newscast, I've noticed a thought-provoking trend.   The majority of the commercials are for:

      -  ambulance chasing lawyers 
      -  car insurance for drivers who don't have car insurance
      -  payday loans/cash advance places
      -  rent-to-own furniture/electronics places

Is it just me, or does anyone else see a pattern here?

Since lawyers have been able advertise on tv and radio, there's not too many people in the city of Louisville that doesn't know who The Kentuckiana Hammer is.  For those not from Louisville or southern Indiana, it is none other than Darryl Issacs. During this midday news cast they showed 2 commercials for him.  One of the commercials shows him walking through a wall of fog, just like when they introduce a WWF wrestler on Smackdown or whatever their wrestling shows are called.  He says he can get you the money you deserve. 

Another favorite advertiser is Jackie Adair.  With her annoying country accent, she tells uninsured motorists to just give her a call and she'll be happy to give them auto insurance.   She's come a long way in her commercials.  When she first started advertising locally, it was just her talking about the insurance.  The current commercials are a big production - it shows her standing in front of a phone bank of about a dozen or more people, all of whom are smiling as they talk in the phone and give car insurance to the uninsured.  

As for payday loan and cash advance places, they're nothing more than legalized loan sharks.  I did some research about this for a class in graduate school.  I was shocked to read the statistics.  75% of the borrowers rollover their payday loans at least once; over 35% rollover 7 or more times.  For the length of the loan, the APR averages from 390% to 780%.  At first, it's unassuming -- you write them a check for $200 for the cash they will give you on the spot.  They'll hold this check for 2 weeks.  You write them another check for $40, which they will cash now.  In two weeks, you can pay them $200 and get your check back to destroy, or you can pay them another $40 and roll it over two more weeks.  It's a sad cycle. 

The rent-to-own places are near and dear to my heart.  I've always said that if I could get my hands on some money, I would buy a bunch of TVs, stereos and cheap living room furniture and open my own rent-to-own place.  The money they bring in is insane.  Seriously, I don't think my conscience would let me be a shiester like that. I also did research on this subject for the same class.  For the example, let's use a Sony Playstation.  You can rent it for $13.99 a week If you rent it for a year, you can own it for a total of $727.48. At the time I did my research, you could buy one for about $129.99.  Subtract that from your rental fees and you're paying about $600 in interest.  Now the simple (but incorrect) way to calculate interest would be to divide the interest charged ($597.49) by the amount borrowed ($129.99). That works out to a 459% interest rate for the one-year loan. The correct way would show that it's actually higher, because we didn't borrow the whole $129.99 for all 52 weeks-- part of it was paid down each week as the year went on. The actual rate is about 557%. Need I say any more? 

Flu You

I think I can safely say that we've all gotten mad and told someone "screw you."  Some of us have probably went a step farther and used the Mother of cuss words.  I've heard saintly people who would never say a cross word to the devil himself get mad and blurt out "screw you."  We hear it on TV and in the movies all the time, and we hear it at work and school.  I don't need to go into detail and discuss the actual implications of "screw you" - we all know what it means.  But it seems to me, if you're mad at someone and really want to get them, you need to hit them where it hurts.  The next time someone really hacks me off, I'm going to tell them "Flu you."

Right now, I think everybody you talk to has or had the flu. I don't think I've ever seen so many people sick before in all my life.  Today in our factory, we have 3 supervisors out with the flu.  One has been out for over two weeks, and will probably be out for two more since it's gone into pneumonia.  Our receptionist was out for a week and a half with it, too.  Fortunately for me and my family, we're healthy and haven't had anything other than head cold that lasted just a few days.  Ordinarily, I would have been the first to get sick.  I guess my daily Centrum and bee pollen have been helping.  Others aren't as fortunate.  When someone walks down the hall by our cubicle and they're hacking and sneezing, as soon as they walk away, I'll go out and spray the area with Lysol.  I guess it's helped, too, because my cubicle cohabitants haven't been sick, either.  But with as widespread and as bad as this year's flu is, I think it would be the worst thing you could wish on someone.  I'd be hesitant to wish it on my worst enemy.  But if you feel you must verbally put someone in their place, go ahead - tell them "flu you."

It Happened

I was raped by OPEC yesterday afternoon.  It was not a sexual nor violent rape -- I was raped at the Marathon gas station at 16th and Broadway.  I was meeting my fellow Diva after work downtown, and had a few minutes to kill so I decided to get gas.  I was on E, and would need it before the trip back home any way, so I thought I'd get it before we hooked up.  Let me preface by saying there aren't alot of gas stations in downtown Louisville.  In fact, I think there's only one, at 1st and Jefferson Street.  I knew there had to be some convenience stores on the outskirts of downtown so I headed down Broadway.  I found one, all right.  The sign said $2.05 for the cheap unleaded.  I blinked, thinking I might have been seeing a mirage or something.  When I looked again, it still said $2.05.  As I said, I needed gas so I had to just suck it up.  For the record, let me say that this is the first time I've paid over $2 a gallon for gas since the 1981 oil crisis.  But then, I drove a 79 VW Rabbit, that got about 87 miles a gallon, so I didn't mind it as much then.  Now that I have an SUV and a 12 cylinder car, I notice it a bit more.  Especially in the BMW.  Thirty-four dollars and eighty cents later, the Blazer had a full tank of gas. That translates to 16.9 gallons.

I've heard some people say "I only put a few dollars in when it's expensive."  That's all well and good, if you drive less than you normally do.  But you still need gas to get to and from work, and to the store, etc.  So unless you want to start walking or ride a bike every where, I guess we'll all just have to suck it up and fork over the money.  In reality, this gas increase was only about a dime more per gallon, so I guess I got off cheap; in recent months, the price has jumped up as much as a quarter.  Whoopee.  Boy, that sure eases the pain. 

Name The Compound Visitor Contest Winner

After pouring over the names sent in by you, my faithful readers, I'd narrowed the suggestions down to two:  "Grady" and "Scrat".  I like "Grady" because of the character Grady from "Sanford and Son."  I like "Scrat" because it's different.  Instead of flipping a coin to decide on what name to choose, I decided to let the unnamed dog pick his new name.  I found the dog next door, and started the experiment.  I called out "Grady" four times and the dog didn't even look at me.  I called out "Scrat" one time and the dog's ears perked up and he walked right over to me.

So, faithful readers, I'd like to introduce you to Scrat, our neighborhood stray dog.  The more I looked at  him, the more I thought how the name fits him.  He appears to be part Husky and part something else; he looks like a "Scrat".  Many to thanks to faithful reader BioTat for the winning name.

Special Delivery

The 'rents and I went shopping Saturday afternoon as part of our Family Bonding Time.  We had a great day together.  We went to breakfast, and drove around southern Indiana along the river.Yes, we wasted precious $$ gas, but hey - I spare no expense when it comes to our Family Bonding.  On our way back home we stopped at a neighborhood furniture store.  I'd been looking for a nice curio cabinet for a few months but could never find the right one. I need a cabinet for my Gone With The Wind music boxes and a few other nice collectibles. I'm picky - I didn't want one made from that cheap pressboard crap, but yet didn't really want to spend a grand on a bigger one either.  We went to the back of the store where the curio cabinets were, and the second I spotted this one, I knew that was THE one.  It was a bigger than the ones that had advertised on sale (twice as wide) and thus more expensive (twice as much) but it was a gorgeous piece of light oak furniture.  It will look awesome in our family room with our hardwood floors.

As the saleslady was writing up the order, she asked if I was going to take it with me, or would we like it delivered. There was no way in blue heaven that we would attempt to haul something like that home with all of the glass involved, so I told her I would like it delivered.  She said that delivery is $49.  I didn't even blink.  I didn't want our Norman Rockwell-esque Family Bonding Time to be marred by us dropping the cabinet.  The saleslady then directed me to the back counter area where a PAT would actually take my money and give me my receipt. 

The PAT took my name and address and my money, and then said that the soonest they could deliver the cabinet would be Friday.  I was a slightly irritated by not being able to get it for almost a week, but I could live with it.  She said they would call Thursday night and give me a 4-hour window on Friday so we could know when to expect them.  She started typing more things into the computer and then asked me for directions to our house.  I said "Excuse me?" and looked at her as if she had three heads.  The PAT looked up from the computer and said "I SAID I need directions to your house for the delivery people."  I told the PAT "Excuse ME. But I'm paying almost fifty bucks to have this delivered just 3 miles from here.  For fifty dollars the company can't look at a map and figure it out on their own?"  A woman standing behind me waiting to pay for her furniture tapped me on the shoulder and whispered "You go, girl."  One of the other sales people was standing at the counter and heard this exchange of banter, and he walked over and looked at the PAT's computer monitor. He told her "They're just going to Greenwood Road - that's the main road here PRP - I think they can find it. Just print her receipt and don't take any more of her time."  The score -- Puddin: 1, PATs: 0.

Link Of The Week

I love to fly.  Personally, if it takes over 3 hours to drive somewhere, I'd just as soon fly there.  I like flying because I think it's fun.  Yes, it's a pain having to get thereso early to check in post 9/11, but once you get past that, I think the rest is a blast. 

The coolest part of a flight is the food and beverage service.  With extra security measures and cut backs, you flight has to be longer than 2 or 3 hours to get a major meal.  Any flight shorter, and you'll just get peanuts, pretzels or cheese crackers.  Airplane food is just fun.  The first time I flew was on our trip to Hawaii in 1985.  On the flight from Chicago to Honolulu, we were served two full meals PLUS snacks!  When the flight attendant came by and asked us "Beef, chicken or fish?", Mom and I practically high-fived. We knew they would feed us, but we had no idea we would get choices.

I found a website that is dedicated to airplane meals.  In fact, the site is made up of pictures people have taken of their airplane meals.  Take a look at www.airlinemeals.net and see if any of the meals look familiar.  I've never heard of most of the airlines mentioned, but this is a funny site to check out.   Aloha.

More Bizarre Items In Our Garage

1.  leather riding crop (for those impropmtu dominatrix moments?)
2.  leather whip (see above)
3.  broken wooden oar
4.  shoebox full of 8-track tapes
5.  box of Christmas cards (unopened)
6.  new Targus laptop case (still in shrinkwrap)
7.  box of Reynolds Wrap sheets
8.  lampshade frame
9.  racoon tail (not sure where the rest of it is)
10. expensive Reebok running shoes now being lived in by mice

Free At Last?

Shortly after midnight last night, Martha Stewart received her "get out of jail free" card.  In a scene straight out of a Bruce Willis movie, Martha left the prison in an entourage of of dark-windowed SUVs and boarded a private jet to take her to her $16 million New York estate.  Actually, she didn't get out of jail free; she's paid dearly during her five month incarceration. Martha lost more than weight during her stay at the Alderson prison. 

Martha lost her position as CEO of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Inc.  When she returns to work, Martha will have the title of "founder." While she could technically reassume the chief executive officer gig, legal experts say this probably won't happen; the SEC still has some unfinished business with Martha.  She still faces an SEC civil suit that seeks to bar her for life from serving as a director at a public company and limit her ability to serve as an officer.

Martha's company also lost.  Martha Stewart Omnimedia reported a fourth-quarter loss of $7.3 million and predicted an even larger loss for the first quarter of this year.  Even though the stock is up nearly 300% since it hit a post-conviction low of $8.55 per share on May 19, 2004, financial analysts say that there is almost no hope the company can grow earnings fast enough to support the current stock price. The stock price has doubled since Stewart began her stint at "Camp Cupcake."  Just hours after Martha was released, MSO stock opened at $35.20 per share. 

Martha has lost some of her constitutional rights.  As with all other convicted felons, Martha has lost her right to vote.  (Note to 2008 Presidential election candidates: don't ask Martha to campaign for you.  I'm pretty sure she'll turn you down.)  Martha has also lost the right to own a gun.  Martha's ImClone discretion has cost her the right to pack heat. 

Don't feel too sorry for Martha.  Even though she has five months of home incarceration to perform, and then probation, she's doing pretty good for herself.  During her five months behind bars, Martha's net worth jumped up by about half a billion dollars.  No, that wasn't a typographical error.  She gained over $480 million while she was in the big house. 

I've been a Martha fan for years - I admire all she's accomplished as a business woman. I wish her nothing but the best of luck in her new "Apprentice" show and in her new talk show.  I'd love to be a guest on either one.  Yes, what Martha did was wrong; she lied, was convicted and has served prison time for it.  After he was found innocent, Mel Ignatow admitted to the brutal torture and murder of Brenda Sue Schaeffer, but our Constitution says he can't be tried again for the same crime. That comes from the same set of laws that made Martha Stewart Martha do prison time for something that our government leaders, politicians, celebrities and sports figures do all the time. There is no justice in our justice system.

Good luck, Martha.  I wish you all the best. 

Refrigerator Wars

After discussing yesterday's unfortunate ice incident with some co-workers this morning, we uncovered yet another major bone of contention in the office.  Our comments quickly turned into complaints, the complaints were voiced to other [guilty] co-workers and before we knew what was happening, Refrigerator Wars had begun.

First, let me tell how the war was started.  We have one refrigerator in the first floor lunchroom  (as well as one in the upstairs lunchroom).  There are 43 employees whose offices/cubicles are on the first floor.  There is only one refrigerator. I'll let you do the math.  Keep in mind this is not an industrial-sized refrigerator, either - it's the size of your average home refrigerator.  Granted, not all of the first-floor employees use the refrigerator at the same time, there is still over-crowding.  Generally speaking, the overcrowding is not a result of 43 lunches being crammed into one refrigerator; it's due to people leaving their lunch in there so long that bacteria has started to grow from it, and from people putting their entire lunchboxes in there. 

I conducted an informal survey this morning, and polled 10 first floor co-workers.  I chose people who regularly bring their lunches, and when asked "What hacks you off most about our refrigerator?", 7 out of the 10 said that lunchboxes in the refrigerator was their biggest beef.  The other 3 said that people leaving their lunches in there for weeks was their biggest gripe. 

This topic was the theme for this morning's break, and it appears the battle lines have already been drawn.  One person said they mentioned the lunchbox thing to a co-worker who in deed does leave their lunchbox in the frig, and he defensively said "that's not as bad as the people who leave their stuff in there for months." Au contraire, my co-worker.  Our frig is cleaned out [supposedly] once a month, and anything that isn't a regularly used condiment or labeled with a person's name is tossed.  That includes leftover lunches and even Tupperware containers. 

There's another faction involved in Refrigerator Wars: the lunch-bringers that have staked claim on "their" territory in the refrigerator.  I've heard story after story of how lunches and other foods/beverages getmoved because the people accidentally and inadvertantly put their food in someone else's "spot".  I normally use the "snack bin" drawer for my lunches.  It's a small drawer, just about 2 or 3 inches deep.  It's the perfect size for the microwave meals that I usually bring for lunch.  Sometimes the drawer is full of Subway remnants so I just find another spot to slide my box into.  Not a problem with me.  But I've witnessed co-workers spending a major portion of their 30-minute lunch time searching through the refrigerator for their lunch that had been moved.  This is quite a feat if you've brought your lunch in a white plastic grocery bag, and there's two dozen of these bags in the refrigerator already. 

My department has often talked about pitching in and buying one of those small refrigerators like the college kids use in their dorms.  But with our luck, somebody else would cram their lunch in there. 

Ice Ice Baby

Today had every indication of being an extremely happy Wednesday.  First of all, I brought an awesome Cobb salad for lunch.  I've been jonesing for this salad for two weeks. I grabbed a friend after work and we went downtown to our new Hard Rock Cafe just so I could get this salad.  Yes, it's that good, folks.  When I got to work this morning, my boss was over in our cubicle and she gave us a box of Little Debbie Easter brownies AND a box of Easter zebra cakes.  They happen to be my two favorite Little Debbie snack cakes.  Just when I thought the day couldn't possibly get any better, it did.  A co-worker called and said that he had Krispy Kreme's in his office and invited our department for a doughnut.  What luck I was having today - I should have left right then and bought a lottery ticket.

Lunchtime draws near, and I can't wait to eat my Cobb salad and Little Debbie cakes.  I brought a box of raspberry tea, and put a tea bag in a cup of hot water to let it steep for a few minutes. Then I would add ice to it for a nice glass of raspberry tea to wash down my delicasies. I went back to the lunchroom and poured the cup of hot tea into my very cool 1960s Tupperware glass, and went to the refrigerator to get some ice from dispenser on the door.  One cube came out.  About the size of my pinkie. I tried again a couple of times, to no avail.  I even opened the freezer and took out the huge container for the ice, only to find nothing but shavings in there.  Not to worry. There is usually at least 2 or 3 bags of ice in the bottom of the freezer.  Not today.  I shook my head in disbelief, and dragged my tired ass upstairs to the 2nd floor lunchroom for a glass of ice.  The tea was good, so I'll admit it was worth it. 

A good friend and I were discussing this and discovered a few oxymorons about this place.  Bags of ice, a very hot commodity at ZCO, are kept out in the factory lunchroom in a huge freezer with a huge padlock on it. Yes, you heard me right; ice is kept under lock and key here at ZCO.  Yet someone could theoretically walk out of here unnoticed with a $1000 pump.  My friend pointed out how the keys to all of the company cars/SUVs are kept in an old wooden salad bowl (again, yes, you heard me right) in the Purchasing manager's office, where anyone could walk in and grab a set of keys and drive off unnoticed, while $3 t-shirts are kept hidden away in a locked room in the farthest corner of the ZCO complex. It makes no sense.

Tales Of The Lost

On the way home from work yesterday, I started thinking about all of the things I've lost over the past few years.  As a rule, I usually end up finding whatever it is that I've lost.  It might take a few weeks or even months of searching, but it will eventually turn up.  My Mom always says "You'll find it when it's meant for you to find it."  And she's true.

Unfortunately for me, the things I lose are usually sentimental things.  A couple of years ago, I lost a small photo album that contained pictures of Grandma and a dear friend's baby daugther.  The pictures were taken when my friend took the baby to visit Grandma in the nursing home.  There were also a couple of family pictures in there, too.  The pictures were priceless irreplaceable. Since my friend and her family lose things like me, I'm sure the negatives were lost, too.  I started looking for this album in May.  We scoured the entire house, including the basement.  In July, we rennovated my bedroom and completely cleared it out, and still couldn't find the album.  I was honestly sick to my stomach over losing this.  A few months later, I had gone down to the basement to get a briefcase to take to a meeting.  As I was picking it up, something caught my eye - inside the briefcase was the missing photo album.  Mom and I both had looked in that briefcase previously when we were looking for the album, and honestly did not see it in there.  The date that I found the missing photo album was September 23rd -- Mom's birthday and Grandma and Grandpa's anniversary date.

Another tale of the lost involves a sterling silver cross.  I'd bought this particular cross because it was different from most crosses and crucifix pendants; I really can't describe it to you in words, but suffice to say it's just different.   I wore this day and night for about two years, until one day I noticed it wasn't hanging around my neck.  As with the photo album, we turned the house upside down.  I retraced my steps and went back to every place I'd been in the previous couple days but we couldn't find it.  I went to the mall and bought one about 75% of the way identical.  I wore it, but it just wasn't the same.  A month or so later, Mom was down in the floor by the hall pantry, cleaning up some dried [uncooked] beans that had fallen from the bag into the tracks of the pantry sliding door.  She spotted something silver in the tracks and fished it out.  Yes, you guessed it - it was the missing cross.  The date she found the missing was cross was the day that Bertie Lee Campbell, one of our dearest friends from Fourth Avenue Church, had died.  Bertie Lee was a remarkable little lady, and even though we only had the pleasure of knowing her for a few short years, she left such a great impression on my family.  Here's another piece of trivia about Yours Truly: Bertie Lee was the person that gave me the knickname of Puddin.