Happy Halloween From The Compound

I'm sure kids all over the country didn't sleep a wink last night, excited with anticipation of getting bags of candy tonight when they go out trick-or-treating.  I didn't sleep much, either.  My sleepless night can be blamed on spicy guacamole from Mexico Tipico.  But that's beside the point.  I hope you, my faithful readers, have a fun and safe Halloween.  I know you'll be busy answering the door when the kids stop by, or will be busy taking your own kids or grandkids out trick-or-treating, but please take a moment and check out some pics of the holiday decorations at The Compound.  It appears we've had an alien invasion.

Normally, my Mom doesn't like the paparazzi taking her picture with other celebs, but yesterday, she was all into this photo op. 

 

Link Of The Week

On our first family vacation to California in 1976, my relatives took us to San Jose.  Aside from the incessant joke of "Do you know the way to San Jose?" during the ride there, it turned into a very cool part of my summer vacation.  The reason being, we visited the Winchester Mystery House.  No, it has nothing to do with the Scooby-Do Mystery Machine.  This is the 160-room Victorian house built by Winchester rifle heiress Sarah Winchester.  Construction on the Winchester house took an amazing 38 years.  It's filled with stairs going to the ceiling, and windows opening up to a wall. 

I won't give away the good parts of the story of Sarah Winchester and her mystery house - I'll let you read them for yourself at http://www.prairieghosts.com/winchester.html.  You can read why Mrs. Winchester worked on this project until her death at the age of 82.  This seemed like pretty good reading for the night before Halloween. 

Truly Scary Things

On MSN, AOL and other internet home pages the past few  weeks, they've had "Top Ten Scary Places" or "Seven Scary Sights" or lists of other must-see scary things.  Here's a list of TWIT's Scary Things.  There's no ghosts, UFOs, nor anything paranormal on this list, but believe me - after you read these, you'll agree they scare you to death.

1. Puddin's Bank Of America Visa bill for September - need I say more?  It does not get scarier than this. Among the charges on the bill were the infamous guitar purchased at the Gibson guitar factory, limousine rental, and various and sundry things purchased/consumed before and during MEM05. 

2. Checkbook balance - especially scary after making a payment on the above Visa bill.  I look at my checkbook register whenever I get the hiccups and need to be scared.

3. Paycheck stub - pretty self-explanatory. It shows how much I don't get paid.  It would be another good thing to use to scare the hiccups out of someone.  I realize that this is yet another item on the scary list that has a  monatery theme, but let's be real - anything to do with money, or especially the lack of, is scary. 

4.  An invitation to a Tupperware/Longenberger/Pampered Chef/Home Interiors/Mary Kay/candle/jewelry/________ (fill in the blank) party.  These invitations have been known to turn the strongest of women into shivering cowards.  I know they scare me to death. 

5. Annual postcard from the gynocologist saying it's time again for your mammogram - another self-explanatory one.  This might be scarier than the above-mentioned party invitations.  It's only once a year, but the fear is so great that we worry about it all year long.

6. Recall notice for your car - the real fear here is not beign afraid the front axel is going to fall apart or that your gas tank could explode; the thing we fear most about car recalls is how we can arrange to get time off from work to take the car back to the dealer.

7. Explanation of benefits from your health insurance company - This is scarier than an acutal operation. I've seen big strapping men tremble with fear when they read and re-read an EOB about a doctor's visit or a hospital stay.  Heaven help our souls if we get an EOB for lab work or tests. 

That's Not Very Smurfy

Back in the day, during October UNICEF would run their "Trick or Treat for UNICEF" commercials.  The spots would show kids dressed up in their Halloween costumes, going door-to-door trick-or-treating.  But instead of wanting candy, the kids would hold up little cardboard box banks and say "Trick or Treat for UNICEF" and the adults answering the doors would put money in the kids' little banks and everybody would be smiling and happy.

In Belgium, UNICEF's new ad campaign addresses the issue of the child-soldiers in Africa.  The 20-second video commercial shows that war can happen in the most innocent of places - in this case, the village where the Smurfs live.  Yes, you heard me correctly - in this commercial, the Smurfs are bombed.  The commercial starts out with the Smurfs holding hands in a circle, and they're singing and dancing around a big campfire.  Suddenly, bombs start dropping and the Smurf village, and the Smurfs, are anihilated.  The most disturbing scene shows Smurfette dead on the ground, with one of her little white high-heeled shoes blown off, and Baby Smurf sitting on the ground by Smurfette's lifeless body, crying.  The commercial ends with the words "Don't let war destroy the children's world."

I agree with UNICEF's justification for using a shocking ad campaing like this - a UNICEF spokesperson said "We see so many images that we don't really react anymore.  In half a minute we wanted to show adults how awful war is by reaching them within their memories of childhood."  I totally agree.  We've become desensitized and hardened by what we see today.  Take the "Feed The Children" commercials, for example.  When they first started airing on TV, we were touched, saddened, and even angry at what we saw - how could children be living like that? Now when one of those commercials is on, we just change the channel on the remote control so we're not bothered by the scenes of the starving children.  I went a page on the MSN site, and watched the Smurf commercial.  It was bizarre.  I can see why kids would be disturbed watching it - I'm glad that the Belgium TV stations aren't showing the commercial until later at night.  All I could think of was when I was in my late teens, how it was the cool thing to collect the little plastic/rubber Smurf figures.  I bet I had over a hundred of them.  I'm sure there's some twisted people that have already gotten some of those little Smurf figurines and filmed their own version of the UNICEF commercial.  And I'm sure if I looked hard enough, I could probably find their home movies on the internet.

Is It QWERTY?

I don't brag about this, but I've always considered myself a techo-geek.  Ordinarily, I don't like to label people, but you have to call a spade a spade.  Whenever a new gadget comes out, I have to buy it, and I try to stay informed on all the happenings in the world of computers and electronics.  Just like this week - I had to run out and buy a flash/thumb drive, just because it's a cool gadget, and because a couple of co-workers have them.  Anyhoo, something else happened the other day that confirmed my position in techno-geekdom: A friend was telling me about a new wireless text message device they just bought, and the first words out of my mouth were "Is the keypad QWERTY?" My friend fired right back "Oh yes, it's small, but it's QWERTY."  I was very impressed. Another friend there with us had a "WTF?" look on his face. I went on to explain to him that QWERTY means that the keys on whatever you're talking about are the same as on a standard keyboard (back in the day, we would have said the keys are the same as on a typewriter).  The clueless friend was really clueless that evening, because he didn't know why we used the term QWERTY.  After sighing heavily and rolling my eyes, I explained that QWERTY are the first line of alphabet keys on a standard keyboad. "Oh, OK" was the response.   

A few years ago, if someone had said I would be using the term QWERTY in a conversation, I would have told them they were crazy. But it made perfect sense this week.  Hmmm Maybe I'll get QWERTY on a personalized license plate. 

Got Cash?

An event occurred today at work that earned it a top spot in the ZCO history books: we got an ATM machine.

Our ATM machine was installed with no fanfare - the only way I knew it was even here was when someone in the front of the building emailed me to say she saw it being rolled down the hall.  The machine is installed out in the foyer between this building and the factory, about 20 feet from our cube. There were some hurdles to clear, however, and security issues had to be addressed. They installed a combination lock on the door going by the foyer, making us more secure. The first hurdle was the ATM machine being over a month late due to Hurricane Katrina.  I'm guessing it came from some place in Louisiana or a neighboring state.  It was supposed to have been here around the first of September. But better late than never. Then, there was a minor hurdle yesterday morning when they were getting it hooked up.  They had to shut off the power to that part of the building, and unfortunately our cube was the only work area affected, so we had a blackout for about 15 minutes.  Once the power was back on and the machine was hooked up, they anchored it to the wall and called in the tech people to get it programmed.  That took quite a bit longer than they'd anticipated.  The techies had the manager of the credit union, their head teller, and their assistant manager come over for the "unveiling" and those people stood huddled around the ATM for hours.  The credit union people finally left at 4:30 when we all left, but the techies stayed until they got it working. 

I'm very proud to say that I was the first ZCO employee to use the machine.  The big withdraw came at about 8:15 this morning.  The HR department even came out to watch the big transaction. I got my money without a hitch.  Our ATM is slower than most ATMs I've used, but it works.  One pressing question has come up since the machine has been in operation: why is there a hole to plug in headphones? If anyone of you, my faithful readers, happen to be ATM experts, please answer this question for us. 

For your viewing pleasure, I've posted a picture of our new ATM machine.  I especially like the lighted sign that says "ATM", just in case someone doesn't know what type of machine it is.

Farewell, Rosa Parks

Of all of the TWIT obituaries I've written, today's has saddened me the most.  I'm very sad to report that Rosa Parks, the matriarch of civil rights, has died.  She was 92.  Rosa Parks' refusal to give up her bus seat to a white man sparked the modern civil rights movement.  Mrs. Parks was 42 when she committed the act of defiance in 1955 - an act that would change the course of American history and earn her the title of "Mother of the Civil Rights Movement.

Mrs. Parks, a seamstress, was riding a Montgomery, Alabama city bus on December 1, 1955, when a white man demanded her seat.  At that time, Jim Crow laws in place since the post-Civil War Reconstruction required a separation of the races on buses and in restaurants and public buildings throughout the South, while legally sanctioned racial discrimination kept blacks out of many jobs and neighborhoods in the North.  Mrs. Parks refused to give up her seat, despite rules requiring blacks to yield their seats to whites.  Rosa was arrested, jailed and fined $14.  Her arrest triggered a 381-day boycott of the bus system, organized by a then little-known Baptist minister, Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.  The Mongomery bus boycott marked the start of the modern civil rights movement.  The movement culminated in the 1964 federal Civil Rights Act, which banned racial discrimination. 

After taking her public stand for civil rights, Mrs. Parks had trouble finding work in Alabama.  Amid threats and harassment, she and her husband Raymond moved to Detroit in 1957, where she lived the rest of her life.  She worked as an aide in the Detroit office of Democratic U.S. Rep. John Conyers from 1965 until retiring in 1988.  In 1996, she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, awarded to civilians making the outstanding contributions to American life.  Three years later, she was awarded the Congressional Gold Medal, the nation's highest civilian honor.

Rosa Parks' impact on America was immeasurable.  She truly changed the course of history, but she said that history too often misrepresented her intent.  She said that history often said that "my feet were hurting and I didn't know why I refused to stand up when they told me. But the real reason of m not standing up was I felt that I had a right to be treated as any other passenger."  She said that while most believe she was physically tired and didn't want to stand up, Rosa Parks said she was "tired of giving in."

Her physical presence will be missed by her family and friends, but her spirit will live on forever. I'm sure that Rosa Parks rode to her home in Glory proudly sitting in the front of the bus.  May Rosa Parks rest in the peace and dignity she deserves.

Thanks, Krogers

As you all know by know, I'm a frequent shopper at Kroger.  I was there this weekend, and saw a very interesting sale sign in the frozen food aisle.  The sign said "Buy 7 Lean Cuisine entrees, get 2 half-gallons of Edy's ice cream free."  Ohhhhkay.  Buy seven low-calorie, low-fat, low-carb, low-taste and low-portion meals and you get a free gallon of ice cream.  That's what I call a bargain, especially if you have a coupon to use on triple coupon day.

You might be surprised as I was at first - Krogers giving away high-calorie and high-fat ice cream as a reward for buying seven diet meals.  But it makes perfect sense to me. It's a proven fact that you want ice cream after eating one of those small microwave meals.  It's a documented fact that people often binge out on ice cream when they're dieting. And they don't stop at one or two scoops, either - they'll eat at least a fourth of the carton.  That having been said, two free half-gallons of ice cream would be just about enough for binging after the seven meals.  So Krogers is helping us out - they're making it easier for us to binge.  We can take our free ice cream with us when we get our diet meals instead of having to waste precious gas making another trip to the store.  Thanks, Krogers.

 

You Heard It Here First

You heard it in TWIT first, faithful readers.  Nuff said.

Subject: CNN Breaking News


-- President Bush to nominate Ben Bernanke, his top economic adviser, to
succeed Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, CNN confirms.

 

Link Of The Week

With computer viruses popping up all over the place these days, you can't be too careful when you download programs from the internet or from friends.  They can imbed Trojan viruses and spyware in anything and everything.  I'm leery of anything I download that doesn't come from the Microsoft site.  There's only one more site that I trust for downloading safe programs - Downloads.com.  It's a great, safe site to find all kinds of programs and applications.  It's part of CNet, another awesome site.  You can find games, home and business applications, programs and applications for your PDA, and the list could go on and on.  You can also filter your search by your operating system, or other criteria.  Go to http://www.download.com and see what they have.  You won't be disappointed.

Good Luck, Mr. Greenspan

They say that all good things must come to an end.  This is especially true for Alan Greenspan's gig as head of the Federal Reserve.  A few weeks ago, Mr. Greenspan announced that he would be retiring after the first of the year.  His last day of work will be January 31.  I wonder if his last day at the office will be like when ordinary people retire?  Will he get a couple of empty computer paper boxes to put his personal stuff in?  Will the other guys at the Federal Reserve take up a collection and buy him a retirement present?  Will they all bring a covered dish and have a meal?  Will they get him a cake or some of those funny gag gifts?  Somehow, I don't think so.

I also wonder if they will post his soon-to-be-vacant job so people can bid on it, like they do in offices and factories?  I wonder what the job requirements will be for the Chairman of the Federal Reserve?  Must be able to manage the world's largest economy, stimulate economic growth while keeping inflation under control?

Bookies and oddsmakers all over the world are giving odds on who they think will be Alan Greenspan's replacement.  Donald Kohn, a member of the Fed's board, is the current longshot at 15-2.  Top Washington officials say that Kohn is the closest thing we have to a Greenspan clone.  John Taylor, a U.S. Treasury official, is the second longshot at 7-1.  The current favorite is Ben Bernanke, at 13-8.  He's currently the chairman of the White House Council of Economic Advisors.  I guess that makes him pretty well qualified.  TWIT wishes the best of luck to Greenspan's replacement.  The lucky winner will have some very big shoes to fill.

More Crime In The 'Hood

I'm shocked to report that we've had more crime in my once peaceful and quiet 'hood.  Last night, police found a man that had been murdered in his house, less than a mile from The Compound.  Details are sketchy, but it appears that the man had been dead for over a week.  I don't know what bothers me more - the fact that a man was murdered less than a mile from my home, or the fact that he was murdered over a week ago and nobody in his neighborhood said or did anything. 

The news reports don't say who tipped off the police that there migh be a dead body in the house, but apparently his neighbors and co-workers didn't care much about him. The news channels were all over the neighborhood, interviewing people that lived close to the guy, and they mentioned how they hadn't seen him for a couple of weeks, but yet they didn't say anything because they thought he was on vacation.  And there were no reports of his boss or co-workers wondering where he had been for almost two weeks, either. How sad is that? 

It's a tragic way to go, being murdered in your own home, and sad to leave this world without people missing you and wondering where you are. 

VFW, Here We Come . . . Hopefully

I'm on pins and needles, waiting with breathless anticipation, and just about every other phrase you can think of to describe waiting for something.  We should be hearing from the national headquarters of the VFW any day now to see if Dad will get to join.  You see, if he gets to join, that means that I can fulfill a lifelong dream of joining the VFW Ladie's Auxiliary. 

I've wanted to join the Ladie's Auxiliary ever since I was in elementary school.  A group of ladies from the very post that I will hopefully be joining came to Greenwood Elementary one day when I was in the third grade.  They were very impressive - all decked out in uniform shirts and very cool hats. They were there with a few of the VFW members for a ceremony when we got a new American flag.  After seeing them, I knew then and there that I wanted to join when I got older.  But the VFW rules say that you can only join the Ladies Auxiliary if your husband, father, grandfather or brother is/was a member of the VFW.  Well, I'm not married, so that one won't work.  Plus, I'm an only child so that leaves out the brother connection.  And both of my grandfathers were not in the war and weren't VFW members so my only hope is on my Dad's strong shoulders.  As you all know from previous journal entries, he's a Navy veteran.  He served during the Korean War, and was stationed in Kodiak, Alaska, when Alaska was still a foreign territory and not yet a state.  So after much discussion with the folks at the Mill Creek VFW Post, they said that he should be able to become a member. So we sent in his application last week, and are waiting for the official confirmation.  I wonder if John Roberts was this nervous a few weeks ago?

I've already gotten a few strange looks this week when I told people about hopefully getting to join the Ladies Auxiliary, but I don't care.  It's something I've always wanted to do.  Since I finished with school a few years ago, I've wanted to join some type of club. But I'm picky - I don't want to join one of the business ladies clubs, where all they do is meet once a month and have lunch while listening to a speaker talk about women dealing with stress; I wanted to join a group that did something good for the community.  The VFW does alot more than have a weekly bingo; they support local and national charities, and do charity fundraisers, and most importantly, they honor our veterans. I'll keep you posted, and my faithful readers will be the first to know when we hear the official news.

File Under: WTF?

After work today, I stopped at Caufield's, a huge costume place after work.  I had an errand to run a half a block from the place, so I thought I'd stop in to see what was going on.  Little did I know that I was walking into a circus.  As I was walking to Caufield's, I saw 2 vans from local TV channels.  They were broadcasting live on the 6:00 news from Caufield's.  Not a problem here - I was wearing a very cool new shirt, and felt very photogenic in case the cameras turned my way. 

When I got to Caufields, I was in for a surprise. There were two police officers standing watch at the door, only letting in a few people at a time.  WTF?  I had no idea buying Halloween costume stuff almost two weeks before Halloween would be reason for the police to be called out.  A  few minutes later, I realized why the police were there: there was major robbery going on inside the store.  I bought a plastic scythe for a friend's son's (the cheapest thing in the store, only $3.95)  and the woman in front of me paid $165 for a costume for her daughter.  Hand to heaven, that is the truth. And she only bought a pair of pointy-toed shoes, a witch's dress and a witch's hat.  Not a bargain in my book.  I almost started to tell the woman about our $3.95 plastic Halloween costumes that we wore as kids,  but I just kept my mouth shut as she gladly forked over almost 2 C-notes for her kid's Halloween outfit. 

For that kind of money, I would have expected something just shy of the Wicked Witch of the West's costume; not just a generic pair of pointy-toed black shoes, a chintzy polyester black dress and a pointy hat.  The woman was robbed the same as if someone put a gun to her head and demanded her purse.  And I just stood behind her in line, fascinated by  the animated deer head on the wall above the cash register.

I know my parents loved me, but I know they would not have paid $165 for my Halloween costume.  In fact, I don't know any parents that would have paid that for an outfit that would be worn for about two hours and then tossed in the bottom of the closet.  During my trick-or-treat years, there was probably only two or three Halloweens that I wore a store-bought costume; all the other years it was made up from make-up and things from home.  I guess today that's just out of hand.  The kids today have to have an expensive store-bought costume or they don't think they're cool. I feel very sorry for them.

Buster, Turn In Your Badge

I heard an interesting story this morning on "The Bob and Tom Show" about a police dog that was being forced into early retirement.  It seems that Buster the German Shephard is too friendly with the crooks he's supposed to nab.  After only six months on the beat, Buster is leaving the force and will be placed with a family as their pet.

Officials at the South Yorkshire Police Department in England said that the two-year old Buster performed well during his 14-week training, but once he hit the streets he slacked off.  On one occasion, Buster walked right past a suspect hiding in a garden of a home and stopped to pee.  The article didn't say if he peed on or near the suspect.   During another police pursuit, Buster gave up mid-chase across a golf course and just laid down on the fairway.  I can't say that I blame him - I'd probably done the same thing, too.

Police patrol the streets in England at pub closing times - when the streets are filled with the drunks going home.  When the drunks would stagger past Buster, he would just wag his tail and eat their pub fries instead of deterring the potential trouble makers.  His handler said "he showed no interest in doing the job."  If the police in England are anything like the ones here on this side of the pond, I'd be willing to bet that alot of them show no interest in doing their job, either.  If dogs could talk, I bet Buster would say "I just don't want to be a cop."  I bet he's a big sweety, though, and I'm sure he'll be great with his new family. 

Top Ten Bosses

In case you didn't know, yesterday was National Boss Day.  In honor of bosses everywhere, here's a list of my favorite bosses.  Some of them I could not stand, and would have quit my job if I had to work for them.  A couple of them would have been very cool to work for.  Here are my Top Ten Bosses, in no particular order.

1.  Mr. Mooney - Even with all of the shenanigans that Lucy pulled, Mr. Mooney never actually fired her.  Sure, he yelled "You're fired!" at Lucy every other episode, but he didn't mean it.  He would even give Lucy an advance on her salary if she needed some extra cash.  Somehow, I think when bosses today say "you're fired" they really mean it, and we won't be hired back at the end of the 30-minute episode like Lucy. 

2.  Mr. Drysdale - Being in charge of the Commerce Bank Of Beverly Hills had it's major perks - Mr. Drysdale had one of the biggest offices of any TV boss.  He also had one of the best secretaries of the TV bosses, too.  Miss Jane even drove him everywhere in her cool convertible.  Even though he would get hot over something and steam would come out of his ears, Mr. Drysdale did a great job taking care of the Clampetts and their millions.

3.  Mr. Dithers - It wasn't easy being Dagwood's boss.  Mr. Dithers spent most of his time yelling at Dagwood for sleeping at his desk, or telling him he had to work overtime.  Unlike the other bosses in my list, I still don't know what type of business Mr. Dithers was actually in charge of.

4.  Lou Grant - He appeared to be a grizzly bear while he was in charge of the news room and then later on, the newspaper.  But in reality, Mr. Grant was a teddy bear.  Mary Richards was one of the few that saw his soft side.  I wouldn't have minded working for Mr. Grant. 

5.  Louie DePalma - I don't ever remember seeing Louie smile on "Taxi."  Even though he worked for the Sunshine Taxi Cab Company, he certainly wasn't sunny.  If one of the drivers hacked him off, he would get even by giving them cab #413, aka Widow Maker.  Louie was even more unscrupulous than Abby Ewing.

6.  Mr. Spacely - Like Mr. Mooney, Mr. Spacely was always firing George Jetson, but he, too, would give George his job back at the end of the show.  I bet they paid pretty good at Spacely Sprockets.  I think I might have liked to work there.

7.  Dr. Paul Romano - He ran a tight ship at County General Hospital.  I'm glad he was a surgeon and chief of staff, because he sure had no bedside manner.  I think he was the biggest ass of any boss on TV and cartoons.  It serves him right getting killed when the helicopter that cut off his arm fell on him. 

8.  Larry Tate - He was another boss with the patience of a saint.  He put up with a lot of weird stuff from Darren Stevens and his wife Samantha.  He also had to deal with Darren's mother-in-law a few times, too.  He was a cool boss, and had a pretty cool office, too. 

9.  Tony Soprano - He had no qualms about having people killed, but at the same time he took care of his employees.  All they had to do was be loyal to him, and he'd take care of them no matter what.  You'd think he would have had a big, fancy office instead of conducting business in the backroom of a bar.

10.  Charlie Townsend - Charlie was the best boss of them all, simply because he never came into the office.  He wasn't there in the office hanging over the Angels' shoulders, or calling them every five minutes. 

Link Of The Week

In elementary school and middle school, and even on in my high school and college years, I was the one that everybody hit up to borrow albums, tapes and now, CDs.  I never minded - being the organized [almost to the point of anal] person I was, I had them all written down and categorized, so it was just like checking a book out of the library.  I could tell you who borrowed what and when.  I also borrowed records and clothes from my friends, who also were anal and had their things logged in. Today, with Word, Excel and Access, we can log in and categorize all of our belongings, making them much, much easier to keep track of if we loan them out. We can put those home inventory programs to use by joining BorrowMe.  Just to got http://www.borrowme.com and sign up, and you will be on your way to loaning and borrowing cool stuff.  Virtually any item is fair game at Borrow Me - not just records or clothes that we borrowed and loaned as teenagers; we can borrow and loan yard and garden equipment, seasonal decorations, tools, you name it. 

It only takes a minute to sign up, so do it today.  I might want to borrow something from you.  Give us another week or two for the new to wear off, and you can borrow our bocce ball game. 

Fall At The Compound

It's officially fall, and fall at The Compound can only mean one thing:  Mom is busy getting the fall decorations in place.  This year is no exception.  She had a little help from Mother Nature this year.  Here's a picture taken this morning of the colorful mums that she planted around her birthday fountain, with a gorgeous tree given to us from our dear friend Emma in the background. 

You Do The Math

Transcript from a conversation overheard today at Annie's Pizza. 
Characters:  a former PAT and Diane, the manager of Annie's Pizza (also the daughter of the owner)
Background: the former PAT was in front the counter, ordering his lunch. Diane was working the cash register. The former PAT looked at the menu, and then checked his wallet for cash. 

Former PAT: How much is the buffet?
Diane:  $6.57.  It's all you can eat pizza, salad and soft drinks.  That also includes tax.
Former PAT: Damn, that's a lot. How much is the steak hoagie?
Diane: $7.87, including tax. Your drink is not included.
Former PAT: I'll have the steak hoagie, and a large Coke. 

Folks, I don't make this stuff up.  I'm sorry that I didn't look at the patch on the former PAT's work shirt - I should have found out where he works and made a note never to call him if I have a job where math is involved. 

File Under: WTF?

Arkansas mom delivers 16th child; dad says mother and child are fine

The Associated Press Updated: 1:52 p.m. ET Oct. 13, 2005

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - Michelle Duggar just delivered her 16th child, and she’s already thinking about doing it again.

Johannah Faith Duggar was born at 6:30 a.m. Tuesday and weighed 7 pounds, 6.5 ounces.

The baby’s father, Jim Bob Duggar, a former state representative, said Wednesday that mother and child were doing well. Johannah’s birth was especially exciting because it was the first time in eight years the family has had a girl, he said.

Jim Bob Duggar, 40, said he and Michelle, 39, want more children.

“We both just love children and we consider each a blessing from the Lord. I have asked Michelle if she wants more and she said yes, if the Lord wants to give us some she will accept them,” he said in a telephone interview.

The Discovery Health Channel filmed Johannah’s birth and plans to air a show about the family in May.

The Learning Channel is doing another show about the family’s construction project, a 7,000-square foot house that should be finished before Christmas. The home, which the family from the northwest Arkansas town of Rogers has been building for two years, will have nine bathrooms, dormitory-style bedrooms for the girls and boys, a commercial kitchen, four washing machines and four dryers.

Jim Bob Duggar, who sells real estate, previously lost his bid for the U.S. Senate. He said he expects to run for the state Senate next year but isn’t ready to make a formal announcement.

Michelle Duggar, 39, had her first child at age 21, four years after the couple married.

Their children include two sets of twins, and each child has a name beginning with the letter “J”: Joshua, 17; John David, 15; Janna, 15; Jill, 14; Jessa, 12; Jinger, 11; Joseph, 10; Josiah, 9; Joy-Anna, 8; Jeremiah, 6; Jedidiah, 6; Jason, 5; James, 4; Justin, 2; Jackson Levi, 1; and now Johannah.

 

All I can say about this is wow. And here I thought 3 or 4 kids was considered big for a family.  Boy was I wrong.  I can't imagine 18 people being in the Duggar house now.  And I can't imagine that poor, stressed and stretched woman giving birth not once, not twice, but sixteen times in her 39 years.  Once she got started popping those babies out, she sure hasn't let up.  There was a slight lull between Joshua and twins John David and Janna, and between Jill and Jessa, but she's been pretty steady for the past 17 years. 

Most women give away their baby clothes and baby furniture after one or two kids; I sure hope the Duggar family kept all of their stuff.  And I don't even want to find a calculator to figure up how many diapers that couple have changed over the past 17 years, either. 

After discussing this at work today, we did some online searches to find out what the record is for most children delivered.  We searched at the Guiness World Record book site, and in Google and Yahoo and a few other search engines and couldn't find a thing.  So I'm asking you, my faithful readers, to see if you can find the answer to this pressing question.  I want to know if Michelle Duggar is a record holder, or if there is some other woman out there that has delivered more children than Michelle.  Please email me or leave comments if you find the answer.  I want to know.

Way To Go, Patsy

The RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) announced yesterday that Patsy Cline's Greatest Hits album has just been given their prestigious Diamond Award.  Just to give you an idea of how prestigious their Diamond Award is, here's a quick lesson: Gold status represents 500,000 copies of an album sold; Platinum represents one million copies sold; Diamond status represents ten million copies have been sold.  Folks, I'd say it's pretty darned good for an album released 32 years ago to still be consistently selling thousands of copies each year.  That translates into approximately 312,500 copies sold each year since the album was released in 1973.  This is especially impressive since the RIAA has reported declines in actual album sales for the past few years due to illegal online downloading of music.  Soooooo, according to these statistics,  it means that people today will illegally download the latest songs, but yet they will fork over cash to physically buy a copy of Pasty Cline's Greatest Hits.

I'm the same way, except that I no longer download songs illegally.  In January, I paid for an annual membership to Limewire, for an unlimited amount of downloads. But before that, I had no qualms about downloading a song here or there, but I would never download an entire album; I would go out and buy it, even if there were only a couple of songs on it I liked.  I did it out of respect to the songwriters.  But today, maybe it's out of respect for Patsy Cline that music lovers are still buying her album instead of going online and downloading it for free. I think it's awesome.  And I think Patsy would say "You're all right, hoss.  Thanks for buying my records" if she were alive.

To me, I think Patsy Cline still has the best female voice ever in the history of recorded music.  Yes, I know that's a pretty strong statement, but it's the way I feel.  I don't think there's a singer alive today that could sing "I Fall To Pieces" and make you actually feel it like Patsy did.  My Mom got to see Patsy perform in concert a few months before Patsy was killed in the tragic plane crash, and Mom says it is still the best concert she's seen.  Like me, Mom said that when Patsy sang that night at the old Armory in downtown Louisville, you could feel the pain in her voice. 

I hope you sell ten million more copies of your Greatest Hits album, Patsy.  You sure deserve it. 

Can You Hear Me Now?

Note: AOL had some major technical difficulties yesterday that prevented me from posting a journal entry in TWIT.  I hope you, my faithful readers didn't think I was just fluffing off.  Now on to yesterday's entry. 

A quasi-new co-worker brought a vendor from his previous job with him to work today. The vendor was from China.  As my co-worker was showing around the office, and introducing him, I paid close attention to what was going on.  Almost every time he introduced the guy to someone, that person would talk very loud to the Chinese gentleman.  I wanted to walk up to the person almost yelling at this Chinese man and smack them upside their heads and yell at them "He's not deaf - he's from China." This brings me to the question of the day: why do people talk loud to someone that doesn't speak any or little English?

If someone understands a little bit of English, I can see them slowing down and not talking so fast, so the foreigner can attempt to decipher.  But unless the foreigner has a hearing loss, there's no reason people should talk louder to them.  Like yelling it is going to make them understand it?  People in other countries don't yell at Americans when they are talking to them.  Come to think of it, in the movies or TV documentaries we don't see foreigners talking loud to other foreigners other like we do.  Evidently, it's just an American thing. 

We Only Associate With The Upper Crust

This is one of the funniest pictures I've seen in a long time, even if my family did take the picture.  There's not much I could write about this picture - it speaks for itself.

Link Of The Week

The buzz for the past year in neighborhoods has been about meth labs and crack houses in operation under our noses, and we don't know anything about it until we hear it on the nightly news.  We're living proof of that when a meth lab was raided about a half mile from The Compound a few weeks ago.  People have no idea it's going on until the lab has been raided or it exploded. 

Another thing we watch out for is sex offenders living in our 'hoods.  Thanks to the registries, finding out if there's a convicted sex offender living near us is only a website away.  A good friend from work sent me this link from the Family Watchdog organization, where you can find out if in deed a convicted sex offender is living near you.  Just go to http://www.familywatchdog.us and click on the link on the right that says "find sex offenders close to me" and enter your address, city, state or zip code and it will bring up a map that shows all of the registered sex offenders near you.  I hope you don't find someone you know on there.

Another Email Questionaire

1. What color is most prevalent in your wardrobe?  Brown
2. Where do fruit flies come from? Two-week old black bananas left out on the kitchen counter
3. Which type of natural disaster would you rather endure: hurricane, tornado, earthquake or volcano eruption?  I'm fairly sure we don't have any volcanos in or around Kentucky, so we're safe there.  If  hurricane would be strong enough to reach Kentucky, then heaven help the rest of the country.  Earthquakes are bizarre - no warning at all.  I'd have to pick a tornado. At least they can give you warning. Super Dopplar can pinpoint when a neighborhood is projected to be hit by a tornado, so you could have time to head down to the basement. 
4. When is the last time you visited an amusement park? Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom, fall of 2003. I got a temporary tattoo of a tiger's head, that was supposed to wash off in 2 weeks.  It lasted 2 months.
5. If you have insurance, what is your office visit co-pay? I think it's $20
6. If you could, is there anything about your personality that you would change?  I'd be more assertive.
7. What's your next big adventure? DLVII in 2006!
8. If forced to choose, would you rather live the rest of your life not being able to see or not being able to hear? Not being able to see.  I can't imagine the rest of my life without being able to hear music.
9. Describe yourself in 3 words.  Caring, Funny, Loyal
10. What was the last thing you returned to a store?  A pair of khaki pants, returned to Wal-Mart because I didn't pay attention and picked up the wrong size.

Good Fritos Gone Bad

Frito-pie slinging triggers brawl

By John Sena The New Mexican |
October 6, 2005

A lunchroom fight involving a horde of Capitol High School students erupted Wednesday after one student hurled a Frito pie at another student, according to police.

A security guard and student were taken to St. Vincent Regional Medical Centers after local and state police went to the school around  noon. A rock or bottle struck the security guard in the face during the fracas, and the student was hospitalized as a precautionary measure after police used a stun gun to subdue him, city police reported.

That student, 16-year-old Nick Mendoza, was arrested and charged with one count of battery on a peace officer and one count of resisting arrest, police said. Police say Mendoza assaulted a police officer during the fallout. Four other students were detained by police and later released to their parents, and Deputy Chief Eric Johnson said their cases are being reviewed for possible charges.

Students who witnessed the fight said mayhem ensued when the student struck by the Frito pie became upset, began hitting tables and windows and threatened the pie thrower. Friends of both students got involved in the incident, and it spilled out of the cafeteria to the front of the school’s gym.

At one point, about 200 students gathered, either as participants or observers, Johnson said. The crowd shrunk to about 75 students after it moved outside.

After the incident, the entire school was put on lockdown for the remainder of the afternoon, about three hours. Lockdowns require teachers to lock doors and windows, pull shades, turn off lights and make sure students sit away from doors and windows.

“Our first priority is to make sure the kids are safe,” Superintendent Gloria Rendón said. “If it means having to stay in the same class for a few hours, keeping them safe takes priority.” Because of their proximity , officials at nearby César Chávez Elementary School and Ortiz Middle School locked down those schools as well. Officials at César Chávez lifted its lockdown shortly after the incident, while Ortiz officials stayed locked down the entire afternoon, Rendón said.

At Capital, about two dozen vehicles were parked outside the school’s gates, as parents and family members waited to hear if any students were injured.

Lisa Ortiz said she went to the school after receiving a phone call from her son, a junior at the school. “He called and said everybody’s fighting and wanting me to come get him because he was scared,” Ortiz said.

School security guards tried to keep parents informed about what was going on inside. Announcements on the school’s public-address system could be heard from the gate, but many parents drew their own conclusions about the incident.

Some worried it was gang related, while others said it might have to do with rocky relations between local and immigrant students. Some parents also mentioned the need for more security at the school.

Johnson said it was unclear if the fight was gang related when it started, but it might have included opposing gangs when it moved outside.

School officials would not comment about any underlying factors, namely the relationship between local and immigrant students, that might have caused Wednesday’s incidents . But Rendón said community issues often make their way into schools.

Capital Principal Darlene Ulibarri continued to interview students after school and referred any questions to the district’s public-information officer.

While waiting for their buses, students talked among themselves about the incident, those who didn’t see it getting details from those who did. A few admitted taking part in the fight, pointing out bruises on their faces. Contact John Sena at 995-3812 or jsena@sfnewmexican .com.

I wish they hadn't reported this incidnet - for years we've been hearing reports of how bad junk food is in the schools.  This sure proves it.  I wonder if the Frito Pie in question is indeed a Frito Pie - baked in a pie pan like a real pie, or if it was the quick and easy version of Frito Pie that all of us junk food lovers enjoy?  In case you didn't know about Frito Pie, here's the recipe.

          For one Frito pie:

Big Grab of Fritos (Dainty appetite? Use the snack-sized bag)
One cup of chili with beans, canned or homemade* (adjust accordingly for non-Big Grab)
grated Cheddar cheese
Plastic fork

Accouterments (your choice): sour cream, onions, tomatoes, lettuce, pico de gallo, cilantro

Snip across the side of the Fritos bag (an authentic Frito pie MUST be served in the bag and eaten with a plastic fork). Pour in the chili, top with cheese and anything else your heart desires. Then stick the fork into the bag, mix it up into a sloppy mess, and enjoy! You can also use a spork.  More fun that a funnel cake at the flea market!

Frito pie is best served with Coke or beer. If the chili is especially hot, a cool glass of milk will help soothe your weary palate.

   

Observations From Our Canadian Visitor

Our good friend Faye is visiting us from Canada.  She owns the fishing camp at Perrault Falls, Ontario where the 'rents have been visiting for over twenty years.  This is her first trip to the United States, and other than having a little difficulty interpreting our southern accents, she's adjusted quite well to life here in the 'Ville.  Here's some observations she's made during her first week in the U.S.

1. The roads are too narrow.  This realization came as we were driving downtown to church last Sunday.  She wasn't used to being on a two-lane city street with cars parked on both sides of the street.  Add to that the fact that Old Louisville was packed with people for the St. James Art Fair.  We're used to just zooming on down Fourth Street, but when you get the folks whose only downtown driving experience is their annual trip to St. James, it does tend to get a bit hairy.

2. People don't use turn signals and cut in front of you.  I gotta agree with her on this one. On our trip back from Buffalo Crossing on the Watterson Expressway, we counted six cars that cut in front of us to get to another lane.  After the sixth one, I told Faye to just close her eyes and we'd tell her when we pulled into the driveway.  On a side note, having an out-of-country visitor who has been raving about our southern hospitality kept the Old Man and me from calling those crazy drivers a few choice words. 

3. Buffets are awesome.  Once again, I agree with her.  On our trip to the Villa Buffet at the Glory of Rome, she commented on how she's never seen so much food.  She was particularly impressed by all of the different desserts they had.  When we told her that we usually get cheesecake when we go there for the breakfast buffet, it blew her mind.  Maybe we'd better not take her to Golden Corral; I'm not sure she could stand it.

4. It's hot; unusually hot for fall.  I'm siding with her again.  Low 90s for September and October is crazy.  When she arrived Saturday, she was wearing a sweater and carrying a coat.  Ten minutes after we got home from the airport she'd changed into shorts and a tank top.  Her daughter called earlier today, and the first words out of Faye's mouth were "It's hot."  Did I mention her daughter called to tell her that they had over six inches of snow in Perrault Falls today?

5. Air conditioning is heavenly.  Ditto.  They seldom get hot weather in her part of Ontario, so hardly anybody has air conditioning.  This past July, she said they had a week of temperatures over 100; one day it got up to 105.  I'd be laid out in an innertube out on the lake with a cold beverage in hand if I'd been there. 

6. We like to spend money.  Has she got us nailed or what?  We've visited the stores at the peak of the fall clearance sales, and she's gotten alot of nice stuff for a fraction of the original price - clothes for her granddaughters, some Christmas gifts, Halloween costumes, etc.  We've got a big box we're packing up to mail back home for her, because there's no way she'll make it on the plane with all of her loot.

Gas Pump Ettiquite

After the past few hurricanes this fall, the media starts a feeding frenzy by reporting that gas prices will be going up again.  This causes panic and everybody breaks their necks to go fill up.  We hear news reports of people driving off without paying, but I'm surprised we haven't heard about people getting into fights at the pumps over over people not following proper gas pump ettiquite.  Here's a few things we need to be aware of to make our gas pump experience a pleasant one.

1.  Make sure you know what side of the car your gas tank cap is on.  I'm first to admit I have to think for a second when I pull up to the pump; the Blazer's gas cap is on the driver's side, and the BMW's is on the passenger side.  I'm not ashamed to say that a time or two, I've had to circle back around the gas station because I pulled up to the pump only to find my gas cap was on the other side. I really get discombobulated when I take the 'rent's Odyessy - it's gas cap is in the rear.  Please rest assured that this does not happen often.  The gas stations are usually packed these days, and I have ample time to assess where my gas cap is.

2.  Please be kind to everybody else and pull up to the farthest gas pump.  Don't pull in to the first pump you come to and get out and start to pump your gas.  It really hacks everybody else off when they can't get to the vacant pump in the front because you weren't considerate and got the gas from the most conveineint pump.  This morning, we had to wait 7 minutes to get our gas at Speedway because a hoopty full of PATs stopped at the middle pump instead of pulling on through.  They had to get $3 worth of gas, which didn't take long, plus put a bottle of something in the engine.  It was interesting to note that this car didn't have a hood, and the driver's door didn't open so the driver had to get in the car like Bo and Luke Duke.

3. If you're going to pay for your gas at the pump, please make sure you know how to use the pay-at-the-pump feature with your credit or debit card.  OK - I'll come out and say it:  please make sure you know how to properly insert your credit/debit card.  You have no idea how frustrating this is to those of us waiting behind you. (In an unrelated matter, this also goes for those using anATM machine.)  If you don't know how to use your credit/debit card at the gas pump, maybe you don't need to have one in the first place.

I Guess I Would Do The Same

All the buzz today on the news was about the President nominating his personal lawyer Harriet Miers for the vacant position on the Supreme Court.  The headline on "Good Morning, America" said "Bush Helps Out His Crony."  I thought about this on the way to work, and I came to the conclusion that if I were in his position, I would have probably done the same thing. 

If I were President of the United States, I would reward my peeps. I, too, would probably nominate my personal lawyer, Leslie Van Arsdale, for a position on the Supreme Court.  I would do it out of loyalty to her for a job well done.  She's helped out me and my family over the years for a fraction of the cost that other lawyers charge.  She helped Grandma with an inheritance she got a few years before she died, and she's done my parents and my wills, and helped us out on a few other things.  On top of being a good, honest lawyer (which some would consider an oxy-moron), she also owns an appliance store.  When she wasn't deciding over matters about our Constitution, she could sell you a refrigerator or stove. She's always been just a phone call away, and is an awesome lady.  Plus, she sold us our Frigidaire stove for cost.  If that's not worthy of a Supreme Court position, well I don't know what is. 

I would probably also appoint my hair stylist Denise for some Cabinet position.  I would do this strictly out of thanks to her for all of her work over the past 25 years as my hair stylist. She's always able to work me in within a few days when I call for an appointment. Plus, she's only knicked my ear one time in the 27 years that I've been going to her; I think that makes her a good candidate for Secretary of Something. 

On a bi-partisan viewpoint, I guess it makes sense for people in high places, like the presidency, to appoint friends and colleagues to positions;  they do it all the time in the business world. I would do the same just to say thank you for your loyalty and service.  Maybe one of my friends or colleagues would do the same for me if they were President.

 

New Product Review

I've mentioned previously in TWIT how much I love Hostess Ho-Hos and King Dons.  There's some imitations in the stores, and unfortunately Little Debbie's Swiss Rolls can't even come close to the taste.  A friend in Philadelphia sent me some of the northeast's beloved Tastey Kakes, but they too were pale by comparison to the Ho-Hos and King Dons.  None of the chocolate and cream treats could touch the Hostess products until now.  Folks, our friends at Entemann's have outdone theirselves with Ente-Mini Chocolate Rounds.  Two words:  they rock.

I give major props to my fellow Diva Stacy for turning me onto these.  It just so happened that Stacy called me Saturday while I was en route to the store.  The first words out of her mouth were "Girl, you've got to get to Krogers and try Ente-Minis."  I knew she wouldn't steer me wrong.  She also advised that since there were only six in a box, I should maybe get two boxes.  Far be it for me to not take friendly advice.  I'm glad I did.  They tasted exactly like Ho-Hos and King Dons.  They're not hockey puck shaped like King Dons, nor are they cylindrical like Ho-Hos, but the taste is identical.  There's rich chocolate icing and cream filling in every bite.  My family and our Canadian houseguest ate a box Saturday night before we went to bed.  I'm sure our guest will take a box or two back with her to Perrault Falls, Ontario.

Go out and buy a box or two of the Ente-Mini Chocolate Rounds today.  You'll be glad you did.   Chocolate Rounds have the TWIT seal of approval.

Link Of The Week

It's been over a month since the devastating Hurricane Katrina destroyed parts of Louisiana and Mississippi, but we're still hearing reports about people being forced to leave their beloved pets behind when they were evacuated.  If a disaster of that proportion hit Louisville, I honestly do not know how my family and I would handle it if we were forced to leave our beloved Pancho and Pedro behind.  I don't think I could do it.  And when people did take their pets with them, a lot were turned away at the evacuation shelters. 

Lobbyists have gotten together, and a new bill has been introduced to Congress that will require federal evacuation plans to protect our pets.  Take a couple of minutes today and sign a petition that will be sent to Congress.  Just go to http://go.care2.com/e/g_O/Bd/IHp6 and sign the petition.  Let's protect our beloved pets. 

Photo Essay Of MEM05, Part II

As promised, here are some more pictures from the infamous trip to Memphis. 

1. The Lorraine Motel - where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated.  The motel has been closed, and it now houses the National Civil Rights Museum. 
2. Room 306 at the Lorraine Motel - Dr. King's room where he was shot and killed.  Those are the original cars from his entourage, and they are in the exact same spots as they were the day he was killed.
3. Sun Records - the studio where Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Roy Orbison and many others first recorded.
4. Pat O'Bryan's on Beale Street - home of the famous Pat O'Bryan's Hurricane. It's identical to the Pat O'Bryan's down on Bourbon Street in New Orleans.
5. A stuffed goat at Silky O'Sullivan's on Beale Street.  The goat was pretty big.  We guessed it might have been a family pet.
6. Live goats in the little tower outside at Silky O'Sullivan's.  We didn't even want to know why.
7. The front of the original building that houses Silky O'Sullivan's.  The story goes the buildings were originally a bar.  When prohibition came, they turned it into a brothel. When prohibition ended, they turned it back into a bar. 
8. Just one of the many interesting signs you see in restaurants and bars along Beale Street.
9. The famous ducks in the fountain at the Peabody Hotel.