Friday, February 4, 2005

I'm NOT A Bleachorexic

Ever since the first time I saw Farrah Fawcett on TV, I've always wanted pearl-white teeth.  This is very ironic, given the fact that until two years ago I was petrified to go to the dentist.  I've always brushed and flossed like I should, and other than not going to the dentist on a regular basis, I practiced good oral hygiene.  It's not like I had black teeth or anything - I just wanted whiter teeth. 

When Topol (the smoker's toothpaste) came out, I tried a few tubes.  If it could make nicotine-stained teeth white again, then surely it would make my teeth look like I'd painted them with White-Out correction fluid.  But I couldn't see any difference.  I didn't smoke, and I blamed it on being a coffee drinker.  But I loved my coffee too much to give it up, so I kept on trying all of new whitening toothpastes as soon as they came out.  Friends would reassure me that my teeth were fine.  But I wanted them white.  When the Crest Whitening strips came out on the market, I think I was the first person in Louisville to buy a box.  Still no luck.  By now, you're probably thinking "Wow, her teeth must really be dingey."  But in all honesty, they're not; they're just not as white as I would like them. 

I started watching "Extreme Makeovers" and became envious of the people that were getting those expensive Da Vinci porcelin veneers on their teeth.  I could have gotten them, too, but I would have had to sell my BMW, all of my guitars, and start selling my eggs to a fertility clinic to get the $12,000 for a full set.  My luck changed in November.  I had finished all of my dental work, and my teeth were in great shape.  So I asked my dentist about getting them "professionally" whitened.  He said they could take care of it there at the dental school.  I was elated.  I couldn't wait to get my whitening kit and be on my way to a dazzling smile. I hardly slept the night before my appointment, I was so excited.  They gave me the dental tray, which is nothing but clear plastic covers that are fitted to my teeth.  I put them on over my teeth to make sure they fit, and when I looked in the mirror and smiled, you really couldn't tell I had anything on over my teeth.  All I do is put a tiny drop of the whitening paste in each tooth of the tray and wear the trays for an hour each day.  It's that simple.   I had an appointment a couple of weeks ago so they could see how the treatment was going, and when he held up a fake tooth that was the color of my teeth when we started the treatment, you could actually tell a difference!  Finally, something worked. 

I had just gotten in bed last night when a friend called and told me to turn the TV to ABC - she said there was a news story coming up that I needed to watch.  She's a real comedienne. The title of the story was "Bleachorexics Risk Much For White Smile."  The dentists interviewed for this story called the whitening junkies "bleachorexics" - people wanting a whiteness that no amount of bleaching will ever produce.  One woman on the story used the tray like I have, and instead of using it an hour a day like the dentists recommend, she was using it for 4 or 5 hours a day, and sometimes leaving it in overnight.  Her gums started to turn purple.  I'm happy to report that while I did try almost every whitening product that came out over the past 10 years, I do not consider myself a bleachorexic.  I use my whitening tray one hour a day faithfully.  I watch the clock closely and take it out as soon as 60 minutes have passed.  So you'll never see me with purple gums; you'll just see me with a whiter smile. 

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