Ever since the first time I saw Farrah Fawcett on TV, I've always wanted pearl-white teeth. This is very ironic, given the fact that until two years ago I was petrified to go to the dentist. I've always brushed and flossed like I should, and other than not going to the dentist on a regular basis, I practiced good oral hygiene. It's not like I had black teeth or anything - I just wanted whiter teeth.
When Topol (the smoker's toothpaste) came out, I tried a few tubes. If it could make nicotine-stained teeth white again, then surely it would make my teeth look like I'd painted them with White-Out correction fluid. But I couldn't see any difference. I didn't smoke, and I blamed it on being a coffee drinker. But I loved my coffee too much to give it up, so I kept on trying all of new whitening toothpastes as soon as they came out. Friends would reassure me that my teeth were fine. But I wanted them white. When the Crest Whitening strips came out on the market, I think I was the first person in Louisville to buy a box. Still no luck. By now, you're probably thinking "Wow, her teeth must really be dingey." But in all honesty, they're not; they're just not as white as I would like them.
I started watching "Extreme Makeovers" and became envious of the people that were getting those expensive Da Vinci porcelin veneers on their teeth. I could have gotten them, too, but I would have had to sell my BMW, all of my guitars, and start selling my eggs to a fertility clinic to get the $12,000 for a full set. My luck changed in November. I had finished all of my dental work, and my teeth were in great shape. So I asked my dentist about getting them "professionally" whitened. He said they could take care of it there at the dental school. I was elated. I couldn't wait to get my whitening kit and be on my way to a dazzling smile. I hardly slept the night before my appointment, I was so excited. They gave me the dental tray, which is nothing but clear plastic covers that are fitted to my teeth. I put them on over my teeth to make sure they fit, and when I looked in the mirror and smiled, you really couldn't tell I had anything on over my teeth. All I do is put a tiny drop of the whitening paste in each tooth of the tray and wear the trays for an hour each day. It's that simple. I had an appointment a couple of weeks ago so they could see how the treatment was going, and when he held up a fake tooth that was the color of my teeth when we started the treatment, you could actually tell a difference! Finally, something worked.
I had just gotten in bed last night when a friend called and told me to turn the TV to ABC - she said there was a news story coming up that I needed to watch. She's a real comedienne. The title of the story was "Bleachorexics Risk Much For White Smile." The dentists interviewed for this story called the whitening junkies "bleachorexics" - people wanting a whiteness that no amount of bleaching will ever produce. One woman on the story used the tray like I have, and instead of using it an hour a day like the dentists recommend, she was using it for 4 or 5 hours a day, and sometimes leaving it in overnight. Her gums started to turn purple. I'm happy to report that while I did try almost every whitening product that came out over the past 10 years, I do not consider myself a bleachorexic. I use my whitening tray one hour a day faithfully. I watch the clock closely and take it out as soon as 60 minutes have passed. So you'll never see me with purple gums; you'll just see me with a whiter smile.
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