When I woke up this morning, I knew this was going to be a sucky day. I woke up in the middle of the night and had a quasi-anxiety attack, and couldn't get back to sleep for at least an hour or two. I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm feeling pretty helpless right now trying to deal with an on-going problem of not being able to say no. For the past few weeks, I've been on the go almost 24/7 doing things for other people and organizations. Don't get me wrong - it's not that I'm selfish and don't want to help; that's not the case at all. It's just that right now with everything that's going on, it feels like I'm being pulled in 47 different directions. Add to that anxiety the fact that I had to put the BMW in the shop yesterday to get new brake$, and you've got one stressed out Puddin.
I went through the day at work, thinking of all of the things that I have going in the next few days, and felt overwhelmed all day long. But I knew that once I got home tonight, I could retreat to the safe haven of my bedroom and get away from everything for a couple of hours. Wrong. At about 3:00 this afternoon, something hit me - I wasn't going to be able to crash as soon as I got home, because this was our monthly trip to the nursing home. I'll confess that I'd secretly hoped that Mom would have forgotten, too, and we could just stay home tonight. Wrong. I got home and she had already changed clothes and was ready to go. It only took her saying "Now, you don't have to go if you don't want to" to make me feel guilty about not wanting to go.
We ate supper, and after I threw on some shorts, it was time for us to head on over. But just like those times before, a magical transformation happened as soon as I walked through the doors of Rockford Manor nursing home. There weren't as many residents there to play bingo tonight, but it worked out good because there weren't many Auxiliary members there to help out, either. The activities director started the bingo calling, but she was just getting over strep throat and still had laryngitis and could barely talk above a loud whisper. I new the show had to go on, so I told her to take my spot at the tables helping the residents watch their cards and I would do the calling. It was a blast. It sure turned my sucky day into a great day after all.
Then reality hit me like a ton of bricks. The activities director had to leave during our games to go back to a resident's room. The gentleman was dying, and wasn't expected to make it through the night. His wife was there with him, but her daughter was mad at her and didn't come. He had a living will that gave detailed instructions, and per his will, his wife had the nurses disconnect his feeding tube today. Their daughter was mad over this and refused to come to the nursing home to be with her father in his last few hours and to be with her mother to help her through this. The activities director came back out after about 20 minutes, and Mom and another Auxiliary member who knew the couple went back to their room to have prayer with them. While they were gone, the director and I talked about how much we loved our Grandmothers, and she told me the story about how her Grandmother was the reason she got into nursing and was why she wanted to work at a nursing home.
After thinking about that gentleman and his wife and what they were going through right now, little things like having to fork over $400 for car repairs, and being stressed over trying to be three places at one time on Saturday didn't seem so stressful after all. Once again, it's another case of how I believe God uses something bad around us to make us realize how good we have it.
1 comment:
Eloquently put, Puddin.
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