Thursday, June 7, 2007

Convict Watch

In case you weren't near the internet, TV nor radio today, here's breaking news:  Paris Hilton is out of jail.  Yes, after spending only three nights in jail, Paris got her get-out-of-jail-free card early this morning because of an undisclosed medical problem and was ordered to serve the rest of her sentence in home confinement.  There's much speculation about her medical problem; we don't know if it's physical or psychological.  My guess is that it's heart problems:  I bet she went into cardiac arrest the first time she had to go to the bathroom in jail and had to sit on the cold metal toilet. 

The court ordered Paris to spend the next 40 days in confinement under house arrest.  She'll have to wear the little monitor on her ankle, and can't leave the house.  Now, I ask you - does being forced to stay in a luxurious Hollywood mansion for 40 days sound so bad to you?  I didn't think so.  If they really want to make her suffer during her home incarceration, they could take away her servants, cell phone, Blackberry, computer, and her hair extensions.  That would really seem like prison. 

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