Happy Anniversary To Me

Another year has come and gone, faithful readers - today marks the three year anniversay of TWIT.  It's hard to still believe that three years ago today I made the decision and commitment to start blogging.  I'm still very proud to report that other than I think three days when there was technical difficulty from AOL that prevented me from blogging, I've posted in TWIT every day.  Including this entry, I've posted my thoughts, rants, raves, and smartass remarks to you, my faithful readers, 1156 times.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my posts.  I never imagined that people - even strangers - would be interested in something that I write.

As I mentioned before, I've always dreamed of writing a novel, and hope one day to finish the one I started.  But in the meanwhile, I will continue to keep on blogging as long as I have such awesome faithful readers as you. 

Mullet Watch

Boy, howdy - we went a couple of months with no mullet sightings, and now it seems we can't go out of the house without seeing one.  I have a few sightings just reported to me today. 

The first mullet sighting is by my new faithful reader, AB45.  Here's what she had to say about her first official mullet sighting for TWIT:  "Golden Beach Rd, Mechanicsville MD on the side of the road selling vegetables - a mullet sighting! LOL  Now, everytime I see someone sporting one of those - I think of your journal!" Priceless, just priceless.  We have no way of knowing, but I'd be willing to bet that this mullet might have worked at one of the shopping center carnivals.

The second sighting is from our current Frequent Mullet Spotter, JMc. Once again, here's the mullet sighting in his words.  And I quote "I cannot believe it!!  Here I am not being able to spot a mullet for a long time then I go to the county fair last Thursday and BAM 3 mullets. Now last Friday when I had to stop at Kroger in Brandenburg, guess what….yeah that’s right another sighting.  This one was a little different from the rest.  It can pass as a “Skullet” but there was hair on top of the head.  The hair on top of the head was a real short, maybe a clipper setting of 2 and then the  flap longer than the collar. Buying….you guessed it, Budweiser.  A favorite among the Red-neckess belligerentess. "

The third sighting this week was by yours truly.  Last night, I made a trek out by Churchill Downs to the VFW post for their infamous Monday night bingo.  I had no idea that I would spot a mullet.  I was sitting at my table reading a book until time for bingo to start when the mullet strolled in.  At first glance, it appeared to be just another long pony tale pulled through the back of a ball cap.  Boy was I wrong.  The guy took off his cap, and with a shake of his head, the back of the mullet fluffed out.  It was very long and light brown, and was the textbook business in the front, party in the back.

Mullet count: 27

 

More Drama At The VFW

It's been a while since I've had any VFW drama to report, but you're in for quite an action-packed update today.  Let's flashback a couple of months.  In April, we had elections for officers for the new year, and in May the officers were officially installed and took office.  Things were fine in at the Post and Auxiliary the month of June, and then all hell broke loose.  Last week at the monthly Post and Auxiliary meetings, just about everybody in office except me, the Auxiliary secretary, resigned.  Keep in mind the annual Post picnic is this coming Saturday, and the people that had been planning and organizing the picnic were among those that resigned. 

First, I'll cut some slack - the Post Commander's cancer came back, and our only fault with him resigning is that he didn't do it sooner so he could have gotten the hell out of the crazy Post. His wife, the Auxiliary President resigned so she could devote what minimal spare time she has to taking care of her husband.  The second wave of resignations were equally justified.  The Auxiliary Treasurer resigned so she could devote more time to take care of her elderly, very sick father. Then the Post Quartermaster (their equivalent of a Secretary and Treasurer) resigned because he didn't want to work with whoever the new Commander will be.  The Post's Senior and Junior Vice Commander both resigned for the same reason, as did the Post's Ritual Team.  It's all just a mess.  At least the Auxiliary has our positions covered - the Senior Vice President automatically moved up to President, and the Junior Vice President was automatically moved up to the Senior position.  And we were able to coerce a new member into taking over the Treasurer duties.  So we're all covered.  But things are still pure chaos on the men's side. 

Our meeting last Sunday afternoon went way smoother than I'd anticipated.  Rumors had started to fly earlier in the week about the resignations, and I spent some time doing damage control, but I really think things will work out fine for the Auxiliary.  The new President and Treasurer and I attended the VFW "School of Instruction" this past weekend, and now we know all there is to know about our office positions. Yeah, right.   If we just keep telling ourselves that, we'll be okay. 

Link Of The Week

A faitful reader sent me this week's Link of the Week, and after checking it out, I find that it is in deed worthy of Link of the Week status.  First of all, a disclaimer - the link is to a site in My Space, but it's not your typical My Space page. This is about Minisode.  If I may say, it's like the TV version of Cliff Notes - they've taken episodes of cool TV shows and have give you the best six minutes.  Visit http://www.myspace.com/minisodenetwork and see for yourself.  If you don't have a My Space log-in, never fear - you can still get to this page.  It's pretty cool.  I highly recommend the minisode of "Policewoman". 

 

Mullet Watch

I was just tickled to death to get this mullet sighting report from my good friend and faithful reader JMc.  I know he's been a bit down in the dumps because he hasn't spotted many mullets lately, but my oh my he sure made up for it this this report.  Here's JMc's mullet sightings in his own words:

I have been dry for the mullet watch until last night.  The Meade County Fair.  Nothing beats a good small county fair to bring out the best in the Mulletians.  The first mullet spotted was a well groomed mullet with spiked hair on top and the back straight and heavily jelled for stiffness. This was on a patron who was dressed well casual with a short sleeve button down shirt tucked in, jeans no holes or wear marks, belt, medium size buckle and boots.

The second mullet was…you guessed it on one of the carneys.  This was the classic I have a mullet but trying not to look like I have a mullet.  Not spiked hair on top but brushed back, short on the sides and a nice wavy flap in the back to complement the assemble.

The third mullet was the typical, trailer bound nice guy who enjoys a good cheap beer.  This particular mullet has been flourishing a good while on this host.  Spiked hair like Bon Jovi in the 80’s on top, short on the sides and mid way down the back of this tall slender dude. Sleeveless shirt, a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, jeans slightly worn and boots.

Ahhhh, you got to love the fair. .

Mullet count: 24

Flashback Friday

                         

These days, you don't hear too many people say they went out for ice cream - mainly because there's hardly any ice cream parlors left.  My favorite ice cream place from back in the day was Farrell's Old Fashioned Ice Cream Parlour.  Farrell's were created in 1963 by Bob Farrell and Ken McCarthy.  Their goal was to recreate a segment of one of the most colorful and memorable eras in American history - the 1890s.  The waiters wore straw hats and vests, and some even wore fake sideburns and handlebar mustaches.  The menus were printed on funny psudo-newspaper pages. 

Farrell's had food, but ice cream was their drawing point. Regular sundaes were served in a big brandy snifter that was so big it took too hands to hold it. Clown sundaes were popular, as was the Pig Trough - a huge double banana split. If you ate the entire Pig Trough, they would come over to your table, ring the bell and blow the siren and give you a ribbon to wear that said "I made a pig of myself at Farrells."  The main attraction at Farrell's was The Zoo - 40 scoops of ice cream served in a big galvanized bucket.  When someone would order one, the bells would clang, the sirens would go off, and someone would start beating a big bass drum as two of the waiters would carry The Zoo out on an old fashioned stretcher. 

The only Farrell's in The 'Ville was in Oxmoor Center, a mall in the east end of town. It was on the 2nd floor of the mall, conveniently located right next to the Oxmoor Cinema movie theater.  I would go there once every few months after Sunday night church with my youth group.  Most of us would pool our money and buy a Zoo, just so we could be a part of all of the hoopla.  My friend and faithful reader SH was also a part of my church youth group, and when I asked her about Farrell's she said her favorite memory was not of the ice cream, but the real cherry Coke that they served.  Maybe she was one of the holdouts that didn't want to go in with us on the Zoo. 

Farrell's also had awesome non-ice cream stuff.  I had my first fried cheese sticks at Farrell's.  I remember that they had the best buttermilk ranch dressing for dipping the cheese sticks, too.  They also had good chili, too,  which they served in a tall ice cream soda glass, with a dollop of sour cream on top.  They also had a gigantic submarine sandwich that they served on a long plank, which was also served with the same fanfare as when someone ordered a Zoo. 

The ice cream and food was only part of the Farrell's experience - they also had a cool candy and toy store, which was located by the cash registers, just like when you pay your bill at Cracker Barrell you, have to go through their little country store.  Very good marketing move, I have to say. Farrell's had old-fashioned candy and toys - giant jawbreakers and rock candy were my favorites.  I remember buying a kazoo just about every time we went to Farrell's, and I'm sure if i looked hard enough in our basement, I could find one.

 

What Will Al-Qaida Think Of Next?

In between the news stories about Lindsay Lohan's latest DUI arrest this week, we saw the headlines about Al-Qaida regrouping and threatening to attack the U.S. again.  The media is even scaring us with stories of the terrorists conducting dry runs of their attack missions.  Airport security officials around the country have been alerted by federal officials to look out for the terrorists "practicing" by carrying explosive components onto airplanes.  This alert is based on some curious seizures at airports in the past six or so months.  The items found in checked and carry-on luggage were components used to make IEDs - Improvised Explosive Devices.  The components included wires, switches, pipes, tubes, cell phone components, and dense clay-like substances, including block cheese.  Yes, cheese.  The TSA (Transportation Safety Administration) said that block cheese is the same density and consistency as some explosives.  In one seizure, a block of processed cheese was found taped to a cell phone charger.  I'm guessing it was a big block of Velveeta.

We all know that the military has been trying to find and destroy Al-Qaida training camps, but I think the terrorists are learning their techniques from watching old "I Love Lucy" episodes.  One episode in particular stands out - when Lucy and the gang were on their European vacation (yes, the same vacation that brought us the classic episode where Lucy and Ethel were stomping grapes).  They were travelling by train, and while in Italy, Lucy decided she wanted to smuggle out a huge roll of salami.  She smuggled it on the train by disguising the giant salami as a baby.  She wrapped the salami in a baby blanket and cradled it in her arms while she was on the train.  Maybe the Department of Homeland Security needs to make sure Al-Qaida doesn't have access to TVLand or Nick At Night.

Top Ten Songs About Older Men and Young Girls

1.  Young Girl - Gary Puckett
Beneath your perfume and make-up
You're just a baby in disquise
And though you know that it's wrong to be alone with me,
that come on look is in your eyes. Oh, Oh

2.  Lady Willpower - Gary Puckett
Did no one ever tell you the facts of life ?
well there's so much you have to learn
And I would gladly teach you
if I could only reach you and get your lovin' in return

3.  1,2,3 Red Light - 1910 Fruitgum Company
Every time I try to prove I love you 1,2,3 Red Light
Baby you ain't right, to stop me, 1,2,3 Red Light
When I know I'm right

4.  Go Away, Little Girl - Donny Osmond
Go away, little girl
I'm not supposed to be alone with you
I know that your lips are sweet
But our lips must never meet

5.  Sweet And Innocent - Donny Osmond
I love the little wiggle in your walk
the way you cuddle on my shoulder
But you're too young to know the score
So come back when your older

6.  Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye
There's nothing wrong with me
Lovin' you, baby no no
And givin' yourself to me could never be wrong
If the love is true, oh baby

7.  Don't Cry, Joni - Conway Twitty
Joni, Joni please don't cry
You'll forget me by and by
You're just fifteen and I'm twenty two,
and Joni I just can’t wait for you.

8.  Don't Stand So Close To Me - The Police
Young teacher the subject
Of schoolgirl fantasy
She wants him so badly
Knows what she wants to be
Inside him there's longing
This girl's an open page
Bookmark her - she's so close now
This girl is half his age

9.  Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me - Mac Davis
Girl, you're a hot-blooded woman-child
And it's warm where you're touchin' me

10. Strawberry Wine - Deana Carter
He was working through college on my grandpa's farm
I was thirsting for knowledge and he had a car
I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child
When one restless summer we found love growing wild

 

 

Let The Broiling Begin

                  

It's been awhile since we've had a battle in Refrigerator Wars in the lunchroom at work, but there was some lunchroom drama last week.  It was all over a toaster oven.  About two years ago, I bought an almost-like-new toaster oven at a yard sale for a dollar, and brought it in to our lunchroom at work.  We had a toaster and two microwaves, but there's some things that need to be cooked in a toaster oven.  For example, everyone's favorite pizza rolls.  So I donated the used oven to our lunchroom.  People used it and it was fine until a few weeks ago, when a co-worker brought to my attention that the broil setting didn't work.  She'd asked her boss, the purchasing manager, if they could order a new one.  He said no, not as long as the current one still worked.  My co-worker must have worn her boss down, because last Thursday, we saw this huge oven on the counter top.  It was not just a new toaster oven - this is a toaster oven, convection oven and rotisserie, all rolled into one.  After reading the warning on the front of the oven (see photo above), we're all afraid to use it. 

Mullet Watch

I can't believe that I forgot to mention a mullet that I witnessed.  It was spotted last Monday night at the Bats baseball game.  I was standing in line to get some Dippin' Dots when I spotted it in line at the lemonade stand next to the Dippin' Dots stand.  It caught my eye not only because it was on a female (an older female at that) but because it was two-tone.  The back of the mullet was peroxide blonde. The top and sides of the mullet were dark brown.  Yes, evidently the mullet wearer was not a true blonde. 

While we're on the subject of mullets today, I'd like to share some mullet information given to me by one of my faithful readers, DH.  This excerpt was from an article about bad hairstyles. I'm hoping that she just stumbled across this information and wasn't Googling "mullet". 

MULLETS
The Style: A fad gone bad or the most reviled haircut in history? Popularized by David Bowie and others during the glam 'ol days of the 1970s, the mullet was adopted (and expanded voluminously upon) in the 1980s by hard rockers and their headbanging army of fans. As hair metal gave way to grunge and alternative music in the early 1990s, a term was coined to describe those who still clung to the headbangers' signature cut -- "mullet heads."

The Story: According to the Oxford English Dictionary, which inducted "mullet" into its venerable lexicon in 2001, the word (as it refers to a hairstyle) was "apparently coined, and certainly popularized, by U.S. hip-hop group the Beastie Boys" in their 1995 song "Mullet Head."

The Shocker: Since making it into the OED, ridicule of the bemulleted has grown increasingly vocal and, judging from a random sampling of anti-mullet Web sites, rather virulent. The mullet is the one haircut Americans love to hate -- and give funny names to. To list a few: The Tennessee Top Hat, The Kentucky Waterfall, and The Camaro Crash Helmet. Our personal favorite, however, is The Missouri Compromise, which manages to reference both the haircut's "business in the front, party in the back" policy, as well as the shameful Compromise of 1820, which regulated slavery in developing U.S. territories.

Mullet count: 21

Farewell, Tammy Faye

                  

TWIT is sad to report that Tammy Faye Messner has died.  The former television evangelist had battled colon cancer for over ten years.  She was 65 years old.  Tammy Faye's tribute has been written by my dear, dear friend MP. 

I was absolutely mortified a few days ago to see a gaunt emaciated Tammy Faye Messner appearing on the Wednesday evening edition of Larry King.  A few weeks before, I had seen a picture of her in a grocery store tabloid but assumed the picture had been altered to create the desired shock factor that we have all acclimated to in long checkout lanes.  But this was real and I emotionally ached for this woman who still held out hope but appeared to be sinking fast.  Probably the best known and somewhat weird quirk that Tammy Faye seemed obsessed with was the excessive application of makeup, particularly mascara, and the donning of large artifacts of jewelry.  She was also well known for helping then husband, Jim Bakker, in the mid 1970s build a vast televangelical empire.  According to Wikipedia, the PTL empire continued to grow under the Bakkers' leadership, but the concern about their opulent lifestyle grew as media reports of an air-conditioned dog house at their Tega Cay, South Carolina lakefront parsonage as well as gold-plated bathroom fixtures dominated newscasts in the 1980s. The Bakkers' home, owned by the ministry, was actually an older home built in the early 1970s and it was a few miles away from Heritage USA. Jim Bakker stated that the much-talked-about dog house was heated with an old heater to keep the dogs warm in the winter and the reported gold-plated fixtures were actually brass. The home was later sold by the ministry and burned to the ground not long thereafter. Jim Bakker wrote in his book "I Was Wrong" that he watched the home burn on live television while incarcerated. In 1996, Tammy Faye emerged back to the limelight to co-host another TV talk show entitled The Jim J. and Tammy Faye Show, with Jim J. Bullock, an HIV-positive and openly gay actor. The syndicated show ended when Tammy chose to leave after being diagnosed with colon cancer. In recent years, she was the subject of a documentary film entitled The Eyes of Tammy Faye (1999) and a follow up film entitled Tammy Faye: Death Defying (2004) from Lions Gate Films. She has also appeared on The Drew Carey Show, playing the mother of character Mimi Bobek (Kathy Kinney), who was also known for wearing excessive amounts of makeup. In early 2004, she appeared on the second season of the VH1 reality television series, The Surreal Life. The show chronicled a twelve-day period when she, porn star Ron Jeremy, rapper Vanilla Ice, Baywatch actress Traci Bingham, CHiPs actor Erik Estrada and Trishelle Cannatella from The Real World: Las Vegas all lived together in a Los Angeles house and were assigned various bizarre tasks and activities. 

The Surreal Life was the last time I saw Tammy Faye on air until the recent airing of Larry King.  I remember thinking how garish she looked in the 1980s and how my grandmother (who didn't wear makeup that much) said she looked like a clown.  But Tammy Faye LaValley Bakker Messner did love the look of heavy makeup and we loved the way she loved her look.  Even on Larry King, she proudly donned on a heavy application of mascara because the American public probably would not have recognized her without it.  I still ache for the insurmountable pain that she endured while battling the insidious cancer but her life was a walk of faith from the beginning and certainly in the end.  TWIT thanks Tammy Faye for the humor that she has provided through the decades and her gripping insight into grieving heartache. May angels with copious applications of mascara ensure Tammy Faye's expedient journey to heaven.

Link Of The Week

I don't get to watch as much TV as I would like to - with work, the VFW, church and life in general, I just don't have the time.  However, I make time to watch the daily episode of All My Children in the evenings, but that's about it for regular faithful TV watching.  If you're a fan of ABC TV shows, you can watch "Desperate Houswives" or "Ugly Betty" anytime you'd like to at the ABC website. 

This week, I found a very cool link to about a bizillion TV shows, aptly called TV-Links.  You can find it at http://tv-links.co.uk. I just now finished watching an old episode of "Will and Grace."  Be warned if you, too, want to watch "Will and Grace" from TV-links - the video is closed captioned in Chinese.  So if you can somehow tune out the Chinese writing at the bottom of the screen, it's all good.  The audio isn't in Chinese, thank goodness, just the closed captioning.  I checked out a few other shows just to see how they are and it's very cool.  I watched a few minutes of an "Iron Chef" episode and an "X-Files" episode from season 2.  You can even see one of the funniest episodes of TV ever filmed - "The Giant Jackrabbit" from "The Beverly Hillbillies."  There's also links to tons of cartoons, movies, and music videos.  Have fun watching!

CSI: Iroquois Park

I never know what the weekend will bring in my life.  During the week, everything is pretty much scheduled - work during the day, various VFW activities on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, and running errands or taking care of other business the other evenings.  But the weekends are pretty much the same.  I usually have something planned every Saturday evening - whether it's a Bats baseball game or going out, and Sundays are always booked up with church in the morning, and my weekly visit to Diva Stacy's in the afternoon.  But the weekends are when something totally unexpected happens that I have to alter my schedule to adapt.  Case in point: tonight. 

I spent the morning and afternoon doing absolutely nothing (which was just what I planned to do) and then late afternoon Diva Stacy and I went to a pool party given by one of her co-workers.  After the party, I visited a friend from school to pick up some DVD's.  A couple other School Friends were coming over, and they'd planned to go out later, but I was just coming by to get my DVD's and head back home.  Wrong.  I pulled in my friend's driveway and walked up to the house.  As I walked past her Grand Cherokee, something caught my eye.  I walked back and was shocked to find the back driver's side window out.  At first, it looked like when the tint film has peeled off of a cheap tinted window job.  But as soon as I got closer, I could see it was in deed a hole.  The entire window had been shattered, leaving a grapefruit-sized hole.  I went in the house, and as calmly as I could, I asked my friend "When was the last time you were in your Jeep?"  She said "Last night. Why?" Then I had to drop the bomb.  She proceeded to drop the F bomb when I told her her window was out. 

We ran back outside, and then things suddenly turned into an episode of CSI: Iroquois Park.  I started questioning the victim, asking if she was sure she didn't go out in the Jeep today.  Redundant, I know, but I had to ask.  After securing the crime scene, I then started to look for evidence and clues.  It was very weird - there was no glass inside of the SUV.  The broken glass was about 3 feet from the broken window, all in a small spot on the gravel driveway - not spread out as if it blew out.  Very bizarre.  At first, I thought that the window shattered as a result of the pressure built up inside from the mid-90's temperatures we had this week. But upon further investigation, I saw that both passenger windows were down about a quarter of an inch to let air in/out.  As my friend started taping up the window, I continued my investigation and looked inside of the Jeep.  No clues.  After careful consideration, I believe that someone (most likely a friend, or even more likely an enemy, of her landlord's son) put their fist through the window, and when they drew their fist out, it caused the glass to bow outward.  The glass would have been around their fist, and they could have shaken it off onto the gravel. 

My friend called her landlord, who was across town visiting his girlfriend, and he said when he got home tonight he would look at the tapes from the surveillance cameras he has set up around the house. Then we'll know if Detective Puddin was right.  You can count on me to keep you posted.

Flashback Friday

                 

Since we've  been on the topic of vacations this week, I though we'd continue with the theme for Flashback Friday and take a look back at vacation postcards.  With email and unlimited nights and weekend minutes on our cell phones today, we hardly ever correspond by snail mail anymore, and vacation postcards have become a thing of the past.  I can't remember the last time I got a postcard in the mail from someone on vacation, nor can I remember the last time I sent one when I was on a trip. 

As I mentioned earlier this week, I was fortunate as a kid and went cross country to California with my parents twice in our cool van.  On the first trip, we stopped somewhere in Arkansas the first night, and I remember looking at the postcards in the hotel gift shop.  I'd decided I was going to buy a postcard from every place we stayed or visited on the trip, and wanted to pick a special one for the first postcard of the trip.  The first postcard on the 1974 road trip to California was one of the infamous Jackelope, similar to the postcard above. 

Almost every service station (yes, that was when they were actually service stations), truck stop, and tourist trap we stopped at on our way to and from California had Jackelope postcards.  They were most popular in Oklahoma and Texas and other points out West.  I admit I didn't see any on our side trips to San Francisco and Monteray - maybe that's because the Jackelopes weren't native to the Bay area. 

 

Mullet Watch

It's been a very slow summer for mullet sightings.  Maybe their mullets are just too hot and they're all inside in the air conditioning.  Our latest mullet sightings have been reported by faithful reader and mullet spotter SH.  The first one was spotted as a passenger in an old Buick.  It was your typical all business in the front with a party in the back.  The second mullet that SH spotted was a child mullet.  She saw it at the YMCA where her son takes swimming lessons.  It was blonde, and appeared to have been freshly cut.  At least the top and sides were cut.  She said that the back part of the mullet went down below the kid's waist and was in desparate need of evening up.

Mullet count: 20  

Sorry About Your Luck, Samsonite

As I mentioned yesterday, some friends from church are on the road right now heading to Colorado for three weeks.  I don't envy the drive there, but I would love to visit Colorado one day.  And when I do visit Colorado, you can best bet that I will be flying there.  Our friends will be gone for over three weeks, and long trips like that require lots of clothes.  And lots of clothes mean lots of packing.  You can imagine the amount of clothes our friends will have for four adults for three weeks.  Sure, they can probably do laundry along the way, but that's beside the point. 

This Sunday at church, our friends told us something that was very interesting.  When they go on a vacation roadtrip, be it for a few days or a month, they don't take suitcases - they keep their clothes in the trunk of their car.  Literally.  They roll up a set of clothes - pants, shirt, socks, and underwear - and just stack the rolls in the trunk of their car.  They said it's much easier than dragging suitcases inside to the motel every night while they're on the road.  When they stop, all they have to carry in is one small bag with their pajamas and toiletries, and a roll of clothes. 

They said they've gotten some flack over this - for instance, people will say "Can't you afford a suitcase?"  I'm sure their reply would be nicer than mine.  I'd be quick to say "Why do you care if I can or can't afford a suitcase?"  Even though it's a bit out of the ordinary, this system seems to work for them, and I guess that's all that matters. 

Vacation Memories

Some friends at church left yesterday for a three-week trip to Colorado.  Their two adult sons are going with them, so there won't be a lot of breathing room in their Buick.  They make this trek every couple of years, so it's really not a major undertaking for them - they've got it down to a science.  For someone like me who hates to travel by car, I can't even begin to imagine it.  I have a travelling rule: if the destination is more than three hours by car, I will be flying there.  Nashville is the farthest south that I will travel, and Indianapolis and Cincinnati are in the comfort zone, too.  But beyond the three-hour limit, I'll see you when my plane lands at the airport.  For example, two years ago when the Divas went to Memphis, it was non-issue that we would be flying instead of driving.  We have rules, and we live by them.

When I was a kid, travelling in the car didn't bother me too much.  We made two trips to California and two trips to Canada before I reached the age of twelve.  It was awesome seeing things that I'd only read about or seen on TV -- the Grand Canyon, the Painted Desert, Old Faithful, Mount Rushmore, the Golden Gate Bridge.  We made the trips in our cool conversion van, so it wasn't like I was stuck in the backseat of a car for days on end.  I was able to sit at the kitchenette table or on the bed while Mom and Dad drove and navigated.  The van only had two bucket seats in the front, so when I wasn't playing in the back of the van and wanted to look out and see where we were going, I had my very own director's chair that sat in the middle behind Mom and Dad. 

To pass the time while we were on the road, I would write.  Even as a kid, I was journaling - I would write about our trip.  But there was no internet back then, so I couldn't post my writings in a blog; I was content to just have a notebook filled with details and memories of our trips so I could read it after we got back home and relive the trip in my mind.

Where's the "Equal" In Equal Rights?

Yesterday afternoon during our regularly scheduled Sunday afternoon social time, Diva Stacy and I watched another exciting episode from the first season of "Police Woman".  We get a kick out of seeing the 70s clothing and hearing the lingo they used back in the day.  For instance, in the episode we watched yesterday afternoon, they used the money term "bread" 2 or 3 times.  We also saw something in yesterday's episode that disturbed us - in one scene, they showed a classroom of Catholic school children, probably 2nd or 3rd graders, who had gone on a walking field trip from the school down to the police station.  The girls were wearing the old school blue and white plaid Catholic school jumpers with white blouses, while the boys wore normal civilian clothes.  It made us both think WTF? 

This episode was set and filmed in the mid-70s - 1974 to be exact - after the civil rights movement and at the height of the women's lib movement, so you'd think there would have been equality for all of the Catholic school children, but evidently not.  The girls were forced to wear uniforms while the boys could wear whatever they wanted.  I'd like to add that the boys didn't even have to wear dress clothes, like some private schools require - they were wearing jeans, corduroy pants, and a couple even had on the cool football jersey t-shirts, and all the while the girls had to wear the plaid jumpers with white blouses.  I thought about this last night, and decided that maybe they had an abundance of blue and white plaid jumpers in the NBC wardrobe department, so that's what they had the little girl actresses wear. 

Link Of The Week

My beloved most favorite actress Pearl is at it again - this time she's taken her acting to a different level.  She now stars in the Will Ferrel video "Good cop, baby cop."  To me, it's just as funny as her first video, "The Landlord".  But then again, I have a different sense of humor.  You can check it out at http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1999591037525689015&q=good+cop+baby+cop&total=66&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0

And by the way, this will be Pearl's last video before she goes into baby retirement.  TWIT would like to wish Pearl all the best in her future endeavor.  We'll miss you. 

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

A friend told me the following conversation she had with her five year old son.  I could not agree with her more.

Her son had been down in the basement watching his beloved Power Rangers, and came upstairs.  He told his mother that "The silver Power Ranger retired because he was tired of working for the man." My friend told him "I know exactly how he feels."

Flashback Friday

                  

We're about half way through summer now, and it seems like everybody and their brother has either gone to or is going to Disney World.  It made me reminisce about my trip to Disney World when I was 11 years old.  (And yes, there was a Disney World way back then.)  Back in the day, there was no pay-one-price-and-ride-everything admission - there were Adventure Ticket Books.

The books contained a transportation ticket (you could choose the trams, monorail or ferry boats), an admission ticket and a various amount of individual ride tickets in different denominations from "A" to "E".  Yep, back in the day the rides required a separate individual ticket.  If by chance you just wanted to walk through the park, you could buy a general admission ticket that included your transporation ticket and admission to the park and you could wander around the park and take in any show or attraction that didn't require a ticket - such as the Diamond Horseshoe Review, the WED Way People Mover, or the General Electric Carousel of Progress.  Incidentally, Walt Disney declared the "Carousel of Progress" his favorite Disney World attraction, and proclaimed that it would never cease operation.  But back to the tickets.

The basic book contained one A ticket, one B ticket, two C tickets, three D tickets and three E tickets.  The A tickets were for the kiddie rides and tame rides, such as the Main Street Vehicles or Cinderella's Golden Carousel.  The E tickets were for the newest, most expensive and popular rides and attractions, like the Pirates of the Caribbean.  Even though there were more D and E tickets in the books than other denominations, there still never seemed to be enough.  So Disney set up ticket booths throughout the park where you could buy additional tickets.  The tickets ranged in price from 10 cents for the A tickets to 90 cents for the coveted E tickets. 

Most people would leave the park with some A and B tickets left.  If you were lucky like I was on my visit, you could score their leftovers.  I remember being given 8 extra A tickets bykind strangers as they were leaving, so I stayed driving the Main Street Vehicles for about an hour. 

Today, people still use the phrase "E ticket" to refer to something that is unusually thrilling, interesting, or expensive.  In Gwen Stefani's song "Orange County Girl", she sings "I know I'm living the E ticket dream, for the girl from O.C., it's almost unheard of."  Astronaut Sally Ride commented on riding in the Space Shuttle "This is definitely an E ticket!"

No Veggie Booty For Me, Thanks

 

                        

It looks like we've got another rash of product recalls by the FDA - this time it's affecting the vegetarians.  TWIT has discovered that everyone's favorite snack food Veggie Booty has been recalled.  There have been 54 reported cases of salmonella poisoning from unsuspecting vegetarians who ate Veggie Booty.  The FDA said that the salmonella cases have been reported from 17 states so far. 

Veggie Booty snack food is sold in supermarkets, health food stores and online in the United States and Canada. Like me, I'm sure you're just dying to know what in the hell is Veggie Booty.  The package says: "Veggie Booty is a snack made from organic rice & corn, with a phytonutrient blend of Spinach, Kale, and other Veggies. Phytonutrients are naturally occuring constituents found in fruits and vegetables. Veggie Booty will change the way you eat and provide you with the vitamins and minerals needed for maximum nutrition, while enjoying the finest snack on the planet."  Fruity Booty is also available from the good folks that bring us Veggie Booty.  Personally, I'm not eating any food with "booty" in its name - be it veggie, fruity, meaty or whatever.  

Wednesday Funnies

A very unattractive, nasty, loud, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids.

After the traditional Hello-and-Welcome-to-Wal-Mart, the Wal-Mart Greeter asks, "Are they twins?"

The woman says, "Hell no, the oldest one, he's 9, and the younger one, she's 7. Why? Do you think they really look alike?"

"Not really," replied the Greeter, "I just can't believe you got laid twice!"

Farewell, Cesar Ivan

                                         

The city of Louisville is very saddened to say farewell to Cesar Ivan Auguilar-Cano.  The 4 year-old boy's body was found inside a garbage bag in the back of a garbage truck this past Saturday morning, a little over a week after he apparentley wandered from his home by Churchill Downs. 

On the afternoon of June 29, Cesar had been watching cartoons in the family's apartment and then wandered outside while his mother was making supper.  She said it wasn't unusual for Cesar to play outside by himself - something he did in their original home in Guatamala.  But this time, he either wandered off or was abducted.

The search for Cesar brought together hundreds and hundreds of law enforcement officers, Churchill Downs workers and plain old concerned Louisvillians.  For over a week people were combing the areas, hoping and praying to find little Cesar.  Churches all across the city and county had prayer services for Cesar, and America's Most Wanted even had a story about him.  But everyone's worst fear came true Saturday morning when sanitation workers found a young boy's body in the back of a garbage truck. Yesterday afternoon, the coroner positively identified the body through dental records, and the police officially called this heinous crime a homicide.  Cesar's father called his murderer a monster, and I have to agree. 

All weekend long, people in the city were already in mourning for Cesar.  Strangers would talk to each other about him, expressing their sadness and grief for the loss of his life, and then express their anger over the monster that murdered him.  An example of this was at the Bats baseball game Saturday night.  People in my section of seats were too busy dabbing our eyes with Kleenax because we were weepy over the news.  And later on that night while at the grocery store, I overheard 3 other shoppers talking about it while waiting in line.  In my 43 years as a Louisvillian, I can't remember anything else making the city grieve like the murder of Cesar Ivan.  

Rest in peace, little one - you're safe now. 

I Run A Tight Ship

At our usual Sunday afternoon gathering yesterday, Diva Stacy and I deviated from our usual Gunsmoke or Food Network watching, and instead watched the movie "Fargo."  Neither one of us had seen it in its entirety, so we plopped down on the couch with a cool drink and watched it.  We had a good laugh about the Northern accents and phrases they used, and talked about the star William Macy being married to "Desperate Housewives" star Felicity Huffman.  We were laughing as Macy's character was being questioned by the police chief, and he was getting pretty agitated and said "I run a tight ship here."  That made me think   I decided to research and find out the meaning and origin of the phrase "run a tight ship."

Sure, we know it means a well managed organization - a home, office, company, club, team, etc.  An online dictionary said the phrase means "to exercise a close, strict control over a ship's crew, company, organization."  I did some more digging, and found it that the phrase refers to a ship in which the ropes are taut, making the ship strictly managed.  The phrase originated in the early 1900's.  Simply put, it means when a ship is at the dock, no matter how big or small it is, if the ropes that moor it to the dock are loose, the ship is going to move around, and could slam into the dock or other ships, causing damage.  If the ropes are tight and the ship is tied close to the dock, it can't move at all and is safely moored.  It makes sense to me.

 

Link Of The Week

For the past year or so, it seems we can't go by one week without hearing about a product recall that causes salmonella or some other dreaded illness.  And in the past few weeks, we've been hearing of more and more products coming from China that are tainted.  Just this morning, a friend sent a link to me that I think will be beneficial to us all as we try to sort through all of the news and propangand about the current Chinese toothpaste drama.  Visit http://www.who-sucks.com/business/made-in-china-2007-danger-timeline and you will find a timeline for the past six months about dangerous products imported from China.  Thank goodness my toothpaste that I buy at "Everything's A Deal" isn't from China. 

Mutant Squash

                  

We've got quite an oddity here at The Compound - we have a yellow squash plant that is producing Siamese squash.  In some freakish way, all of the squash growing from this plant are co-joined.  I was going to post a picture of the Siamese twin squash, but the picture looked pretty X-rated.  I'm sure you can use your imaginations and figure out what it looked like.  But the Siamese triplet squash is one for the record books.   Mom has been all morning going from neighbor to neighbor, proudly showing them her Siamese triplet squash, and she asked me if I would post a picture of it in TWIT.  I was only happy to honor her request.  I'm hoping that before the summer is over, we'll get a Siamese quadruplet or maybe even a quintuplet squash. 

 

Flashback Friday

The Fourth of July is over and done with for another year, but the fireworks stands are still in operation.  I stopped at one last night, just to see if they were having a half-off sale, just like they do on the day after Christmas, but they were still selling them at full price.  As I as driving home, I thought back to the fireworks we had when I was a kid.  I have an unusually detailed memory when it comes to my childhood, but I cannot remember ever seeing any of the fireworks stands like we have today.  You would buy them at the grocery store or drug store.  And the selection was no where near what you can buy legally today.  Back in the day, all we had were sparklers, smoke bombs, lame bottle rockets and the coolest of them all, the snakes.  If you were lucky enough to have friends going on vacation down to Florida, you could slip them a few bucks and ask them to stop in Tennessee to buy the good, illegal fireworks for you.  Oh how we loved the contraband Black Cat firecrackers and Roman candles.   But if you couldn't find someone willing to bring the illegal fireworks back, you had to make do with what you could get locally. 

I guess that bottle rockets are still popular, but I don't know how they fire them off - back in the day, we would use a 16 ounce Coke bottle.  Now that those are extinct, I don't know what they use.  I'm guessing a beer bottle might not be the safest thing to use.   And I'm pretty sure that the small round smoke bombs don't bring kids as much excitement as they did us.  They never did anything except make a big cloud of smoke, but we were fascinated nonetheless.

My personal favorite of the old school fireworks were the snakes.  Once again, you don't hear kids today talking about them like we did back in the day.  Once you lit the small black disc, if you blinked you would miss the disc expanding into the snake.  I think the reason we liked them so much was because we knew our parents hated them so much - they would leave a nasty black stain on the driveway that no amount of spraying with the hose could clean. 

Thank Goodness For The Ice Cream

We had supper a bit earlier than normal tonight, and after we'd eaten, Dad started tearing into a piece of apple pie that Mom made yesterday.  Not being a big apple dessert fan, I decided I wanted ice cream; Mint Moose Tracks ice cream to be exact.  I ran out to the garage and opened the freezer and began the search for the pint carton.  I found it and when I picked it up, imagine my surprise when I could feel something sloshing around in the carton.  I glanced up to see water dripping off of the shelves on the freezer door.  I'm not going to print what I said, just in case there might be young, impressionable children reading TWIT.  I saw a bag of hot dogs inside the freezer and touched them.  Yep, thawed out.  I did a quick random search and found out that most of the items thawed out were on the freezer door, thank goodness.  I closed the door, making sure it had fully shut, and ran back in the house to sound the alarm.  I won't print what Mom said, either. 

She ran out to the freezer, and started picking up everything in the freezer to check for more thawed items.  Thank goodness, most was still frozen.  The only things we lost were a box of frozen shrimp and half a box of Boca burgers.  There were a few pieces of thawed meat that she brought in and cooked and will freeze for later, so all in all we were extremely lucky.  We found out the cause of the thaw was a small cooler bag that was on top of the freezer.  The carrying strap was hanging down and was caught in the door, giving just enough space for the heat to get in and thaw.  Dad grabbed the cooler bag and hung it on the wall, far away from the freezer.  I'm just thankful I wanted ice cream tonight for dessert, or else we would have had one gooey mess on our hands. 

File Under: WTF?

I spent over an hour at our local Wal-Mart this morning.  If you're shopping, that might not seem like an unusual amount of time; but if you're doing nothing but standing in line, then it's a hell of a long time.  I spent 30 minutes waiting in line at the customer service counter to get a refund on an item I returned, and then spent over 30 minutes waiting in line to buy a case of bottled water that was on sale. 

There was only one young woman working at the customer service counter, so it was taking forever to get waited on, but I was determined to get my $12.88 refund so I toughed it out.  I got my money, and as I was putting it in my purse before doing my shopping, my attention turned to the girl that had been behind me in line.  Keep in mind she had waited for a half an hour, too.  The girl didn't have anything to return - she had stood in line all this time just to tell the clerk that they were 2 days behind on their Harry Potter movie countdown.  There was a display board with calendar pages that were to be torn off every day, counting down the days till a new Harry Potter movie or book was to be released.   Yes, that's all the kid wanted - just to tell someone they needed to be up-to-date on their countdown calendar. She spent over a half an hour standing in line just to tell the clerk to tear off 2 pages of the calendar.  I give up.  I just give up. 

Miss Popularity

I mentioned a few weeks ago about a sudden surge in my popularity.  It seems that more and more people were searching for me at one of the popular school reunion websites.  Faithful readers, I've discovered that I'm even more popular than I ever imagined I could be.  Every day for the past month, I've received at least two or three invitation emails saying that someone wants to add me to their "Facebook."  I sure wasn't this popular in my teenage years in high school.  In fact, I was pretty much a nobody in school.  I didn't hang out with the popular crowds - I just hung out with the other nobodies.  But I'm sure making up for it in my forties. 

Yesterday, Tonia Fritz wanted me to be added to her Facebook.  Now, I'm very good with not forgetting a name or face, and to the best of my knowledge I've never known anyone named Tonia Fritz.  I've never even known any Tonias nor Fritzs for that matter.  In fact, I've only known one Tonya, and she is in our accounting department.  My curiosity got the best of me, and I visited the Facebook website.  The big bold headline said  "Facebook is a social utility that connects you with the people around you."  When I read that, that was as far as I looked in the site.  Apparently, it's a MySpace wannabe, and I want no part of that.  So if you're reading this Tonia Fritz, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to decline your invitation to join your Facebook.  Good luck finding another friend.

Can It

The 'Rents and I love watching Gunsmoke.  I love it so much, that Diva Stacy and I usually watch an episode together every Sunday afternoon.  The other evening at supper, Dad and I started talking about the reality of the portrayal of cowboys on TV and movies; more importantly, what they ate and drank.  For instance, I'm fascinated by the cowboys that go into the Longbranch Salloon and order beer served in a mug.  I know they don't have a line of nitrous oxide going to the keg to keep it cold. But that's another topic for another day.   As I said, we were discussing what the cowboys ate while they were out on the trail, and we remembered seeing the cowboys eating something out of tin cans that they had to open with their giant hunting knife, which also doubled as an eating utensil.  I did some research about cowboys and canned goods, and here's what I found out:

The canning method was developed in Europe during the first half of the 19th century, and the first cannery in the United States was opened in Boston in 1821.  During the Civil War, canned foods were easy to transport and store as rations for the soldiers.  The Union Army soldiers enjoyed canned pork and beans, oysters and green beans. The Confederate Army were big fans of canned meat and vegetable stew.  I'm sure the Rebels would have loved Dinty Moore. 

The end of the Civil War brought the Western Expansion.  To compensate for the extinction of the buffalo, cowboys moved approximately five million Longhorn cattle from Texas between 1867 and 1887 in what is called the Cowboy Era.  During the time on the trail, the cowboys did in deed have canned goods.  Thanks to the transcontinental railroad, fruits and vegetables were able to be moved long distances to canneries and then the can goods were able to be distributed over the country. 

The cowboys ate canned beans, which they called "prairie strawberries," canned peaches, and canned tomatoes.  Cowboys called canned foods "airtights."  Canned tomatoes were the most popular canned goods out on the trail.  In fact, tomatoes were the first food to be canned.  The cowboys would drink the juice after eating the tomatoes.  The acidic tomato juice counteracted the ill effects of alkali dust that the cowboys inhaled on the trail. The chuckwagon cook (also known as "Cookie") would mix onions and other seasonings with the canned tomatoes to make salsa for the cowboys.  Picante sauce is still popular among working cowboys today. 

 

Link Of The Week

Let's face it - we're complainers.  It's just our human nature to complain about something that isn't what we perceive as being right -- restaurant food and service, stores, auto repair shops, etc etc.  The list could go on and on.  But more often than not, when we complain, we complain most often about customer service (or should I say the lack thereof).  I've made phone calls, written letters and sent emails to managers and CEOs telling them about complaints that I have with their company or place of business.  A few times, I've actually heard back from them, but most of the time the complaints just fell on deaf ears. 

This week, I found a site that might help us complainers called Complaint TV.  Visit their site and tell them your complaint, and they will email your story to the local TV newsrooms in your area.  As we know, the TV news people love to air stories about complaints almost as much as they love having their weatherazzi on the air in a nonstop vigil when there's severe weather.  Just go to http://www.complaint.tv and click on "Send your story" and they will take care of the rest.  If you want to remain anonymous and not have your complaint sent to the media, there's also a place at the site where you can just post your complaint.  Let's get to the website and start complaining!!