Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200

Our good friends at Hasbro are at it again.  When we last heard from Hasbro, they had pulled the line of Pussycat Dolls dolls from their fall campaign.  Now, they're tampering with history.  In their British version of Monopoly, Hasbro has replaced the traditional play money with debit cards.  Yes, you heard me.  Debit cards in Monopoly.  The children on the other side of the pond won't know the joy of collecting and hoarding the yellow, blue, green, pink and purple paper money.

Hasbro said they started thinking about what Monopoly would look like if it was designed today, and they noticed consumers were using more debit cards and carrying around less cash than back in the day.  Hasbro is also considering a similar change for American versions of Monopoly.

In case you didn't know the history of Monoply, the game was invented in1935.  It offered people a form of financial escapism during the country's worst financial depression.  Players became pretend-like real estate magnates who competed for fictitious property named after real places in Atlantic City, New Jersey.  Even though the Great Depression was going on, Americans still scraped up enough cash to buy the game because it quickly became Hasbro's number one board game.

This just doesn't seem right.  Half the fun of playing Monopoly was messing with the play money.  We would use the play money from Monopoly in other games we would make up.  We'd also use the play money from the game when we played store or office.  Now when British kids play the game, they'll never know the fun of using play money.  Instead they'll have to use a debit card and be forced to pay a $2.50 transaction fee every time they use the card.

The British version has also been modernized in other ways.  Cards that once awarded players for winning a beauty contest now paya them for winning a reality TV show.  I'm guessing that they still have a card that says something about losing your job; I can't imagine they would have a card that said "You're fired!" but you never know.  In the American version, passing "Go" will get you $200.  In the British version, it's now worth two million English pounds.  I think I'd rather play the British version.

Link Of The Week

They say that everybody has a twin - someone, somewhere in the world, that looks like you.  Some people look like celebrities, which can be a blessing if you want your ego stroked, or a curse if you don't want to be bothered with people coming up to you saying "Did anyone ever tell you that you look like _______?"  If nobody has ever said that to you, you can still find out what celebrity you resemble.  I found a site the other day that will match your picture with a celebrity that looks [kinda] like you.  Just visit http://www.myheritage.com and upload a picture of you. The site will run the picture through its database and will let you know what celebrity looks like you. 

I checked out the site, which was brought to my attention by my dear friend and faithful reader Big Mama.  I uploaded a picture of me, and was shocked when it said I resemebled Angelina Jolie.  Ha ha ha.  That's ridiculous.  We all know she's a brunette and I'm a blonde. 

I'm Not Buying It, Floyd

Even you didn't hear about the new Chorizo sausage being added to the sausage race at the Milwaukee Brewers baseball game today, I'm sure you probably heard about the scandal over Floyd Landis winning the Tour de France this week.  In case you haven't heard, after Floyd won the Tour de France this week, he took a required urine test. After winning the 17th stage, he submitted to the drug test - standard for a stage winner - that showed an unusual level of testosterone/epitestosterone.  Now his title as winner is in question.  Floyd said that he wasn't involved in any doping (using steroids) and that the imbalance was caused by his body's natural metabolism.  Floyd said he's always had an unusually high level of testosterone. 

"He does not have a high level of testosterone. That's not been documented. He has a high ratio of testosterone to epitestosterone in his urine," Landis' personal physician, Dr. Brent Kay, said Friday night on CNN's "Larry King Live."  Okay.  Potato, potahtoh; tomato, tomahtoh. 

 

I'm know nothing about steroids, other than having to get a prescription filled for Prednasone a few years ago when my allergies were bad, so I can't give any expert commentary about steroid use.  In Floyd's defense, I would think that if he took steroids the day of the last stage of the Tour de France, that they wouldn't just immediately kick in and cause his body to perform off the charts. I do know that body bulk and performance is built up over time, and not just after one dose of the juice. On the other hand,  it seems to me that if Floyd has an unusually high level of testosterone, it would have shown up on the urine test results long before now.  So to sum it up, I really don't know what to think about this.  I do think that something doesn't sound right about this, and I think that Floyd did have some type of perfromance-enhancing drug up his sleeve. I guess we'll know soon. 

This Week In Sports News

The biggest sports story this week wasn't Tour de France winner Floyd Landis' failed drug test.  It wasn't NFL training camps nor even Sir Charles Barkley possible run for governor of Alabama.  Nope.  The biggest sports story this week comes to us from the Milwaukee Brewers baseball team.  At a press conference yesterday morning, Brewers general manager Doug Melvin introduced Chorizo, the newest addition to the popular racing saugages.  Chorizo will be joining Bratwurst, Polish Sausage, Italian Sausage and Hot Dog for a race on "Cerveceros Day" - - that's "Brewers" in Spanish for you gringos -- following the sixth inning of Saturday's Brewers-Reds game at Milwaukee's Miller Park.  Chorizo will then be sent to the Minor Leagues for more seasoning, pun intended.  If everything goes well in Major League Baseball's approval process for new mascots, the Sausage Race will officially become a five-weenie contest beginning on opening day of the 2007 season. 

During the press conference yesterday, Chorizo, a spicy pork sausage, signed a contract and was presented with a jersey reading "Cerveceros" across the front.  The Brewers will pay tribute to Hispanic baseball at Saturday's game by wearing uniforms that read "Cerveceros" across the chest instead of the English translation "Brewers."  I just hope nobody grabs a baseball bat and slugs Chorizo like one of the Pittsburgh Pirate players did to the Italian sausage in a race a few years ago. 

My iPod Top Twenty Playlist For July

1.    Three Chords And The Truth - Sara Evans
2.    When You Were Cheating - Sara Evans
3.    You're The First Time I've Thought About Leaving - Reba McEntire
4.    Midnight Oil - Barbara Mandrell
5.    Me And My Gang - Rascall Flatts
6.    Whiskey River - Willie Nelson
7.    Jackson - Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon
8.    Back In The Saddle Again - Aerosmith
9.    I Touch Myself - Divynals
10.  The Diva Megamix
11.  One Way Or Another - Blondie
12.  Call Me - Blondie
13.  Straight On (live version) - Heart
14.  Keep Your Hands To Yourself - Georgia Satellites
15.  Don't Misunderstand Me - Rossington Collins
16.  Hot Rod Lincoln - Commander Coty
17.  Somebody Elses Fire - Janie Fricke
18.  I Hurt For You - Deborah Allen
19.  Safe In The Arms Of Love - Kennedy Rose
20.  Love Like This - Kennedy Rose

File Under: Things You Don't See Everyday

I was downtown the other day running some errands and saw something very interesting when I was stopped at the light at First and Oak streets.  There walking down Oak Street was an Asian family carrying bags of groceries from the 'hood Krogers (affectionately called Kroghetto).   In and of itself, that's not very interesting, and it's a common sight for that area of town.  The interesting part was what was in the almost see-through plastic grocery bags; three of the family members were carrying grocery bags full of huge blocks of cheese.  WTF?  I've never seen anyone coming from a grocery store with so much cheese.

First, let me preface and say that I am not prejudiced, nor am I profiling by ethnicity.  But I didn't think that Asian people used that much cheese.  A co-worker's wife and in-laws are from Japan, and I hear him talking about the foods they cook with rice, tofu and various seasonings and spices.  But I've never heard him say that they cook using a lot of cheese. 

I did a quick online search and couldn't find any information about Asian cooking with cheese.  Maybe there are recipes out there, but I couldn't find them.  Who knows - maybe that family just likes cheese, and it was on sale so they decided to stock up.  I hope they also had a box or two of Ex-Lax or Metamucil in their grocery bags, too. 

The Girls Had Good Intentions

I read an interesting but disappointing article online the other day.  The city of Los Angeles' Animal Services Department was having a fundraiser to raise money for spaying and neutering, and some Hooters girls in Hollywood offered to help.  The Hooters girls wanted to have a bikini contest, with all of the money raised going to the spaying and neutering program, and they were going to call it "Hooters For Neuters."  The director of the Animal Services Department quickly put a halt to the bikini contest fundraiser, because he said it was "degrading to women." Based on the information that I read, the Hooters girls offered to help with the fundraiser on their own free will; nobody held a gun to their heads and told them "you'd better hold a bikini contest and give the money to the spaying and neutering program or else."  So what's the big deal?  I'm sure the Hooters girls could have raised a whole lot more money than the department ended up with. 

If this had happened in the 'Ville, I can't say that I would have gone to a Hooters bikini contest, but if they'd had a car wash, I'm sure me and my family would have taken all three vehicles and let the Hooters girls wash them.  But then again, my family and I usually stop at any charity car wash that we see -  it's our way of giving back to the community.  It makes no difference to us who's washing the car - be it a church youth group, a school football team, or bikini-clad women - as long as the car gets washed in exchange for a donation to whatever cause they're working for.  If having bikini-clad women, or the Hooters girls in their orange shorts and white t-shirts can drum up more business for a charity fundraiser, then good for them.  I don't see it as exploitation if they do it of their own free will.  If they're willing to donate their time and efforts, regardless of what they're wearing, then I say go for it.  At least those Hooters girls were willing to volunteer for a fundraiser.  That's way more than I can say for the majority of people that belong to charitable organizations.

Monday Joke Time

Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas.  As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas.  The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out,  but she could wait until it was returned.

Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.  She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient.

Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.  As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street.  One of the them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm turning Catholic."

Link Of The Week

As soon as I got AOL back in 1998, it didn't take long for the scam emails to make their way to my mailbox.  After I got my first scam email supposedly from a lawyer who was looking for next of kin for someone who had my last name so he could give them millions of dollars, I started saving the emails, just to keep track of how many I've received.  As of today, I've gotten 44 of them.  I'm sure you've gotten as many as I have over the years. 

I found an interesting site that deals with this scam, referred to as the Nigerian bank fraud scam.  This site gives information on how to fight back against the scammers.  Go to http://419game.freepgs.com/mainpage.htm and read how you can take just a few minutes and fight back against these scammers.  This isn't for the faint hearted - it takes guts to do this.  But I'm sure you all are as fed up as I am about getting these emails, so take the time to read the site and do a bit of research so we can all fight against the sheisters.

Summer Vacation Update

All good things must come to an end, and so is the same with Puddin's Summer Vacation.  I'm heading home in a couple of hours, and will be back in the 'Ville before you know it.  It's been a great, restful week.  With drama going on at work, church, the VFW and all parts in between, I sure needed a week away from everything to regroup and get my batteries recharged. 

The culmination of Puddin's Summer Vacation was last night - front row and a VIP pass to the Reba McEntire concert at the Las Vegas Hilton.  I'll post more on that early next week, after I've had time to sort through all of the pictures I took of the concert and to get Diva Stacy to scan the picture taken of Reba and me after the concert at the meet-and-greet.  I've been a huge Reba fan ever since she released her first album in the late 70's, and it's been a dream of mine to get to meet her.  Now that dream has come true.

It's another hot day here in Sin City - they're calling for a high of 108.  I was outside earlier and it was hotter than Egypt already.  After a few calls back home this morning, I'm very happy to hear that the weather is cooler at home than when I left.  But after yesterday's walk through the desert, I think I'll never complain about it being hot again.

Summer Vacation Update

As I type this, the AOL home page says it's 70 degrees in the 'Ville right now.  Here in Sin City, it's approximately 32 degrees hotter.  Yep, you can do the math.   I've walked so much today in the desert heat, that I felt like Moses.  Well, maybe not quite like Moses - I'm sure he didn't have a casino/hotel on every block to stop into to enjoy the air conditioning.  But you get the picture. 

Tonight is the Big Event - the reason I came to Las Vegas in the hottest part of the year - to see and meet on of my idols, Reba McEntire.  I fly back home tomorrow, so I probably won't be able to give a vacation report until after I get home tomorrow night, but you can count on a full report once I get back home and get rested up from my week of vacation.  I do have one short story to tell you, however.  I saw a very interesting fight out on Las Vegas Boulevard this afternoon.  I never could quite find out what caused the fight - there wasn't a fender bender, nor was it a case of road rage.  All I know is if it had happened in the 'Ville, one of the people involved would have pulled out their piece and capped the other person in the ass.  But here in Sin City, they just shoved eacher other and basically faught like girls.

VFW Hell

As Secretary of the Ladies Auxiliary, I was required to attend the quarterly audit last week.  For almost three hours, I sat at the table with the Auxiliary President, Treasurer, and two of the three-year Trustees while they poured over bank statements, cancelled checks and the general fund and gaming fund accounting ledgers.  It was hell, pure and simple.  I was there because I am the current Secretary and had to bring the minutes book.  I don't even need to tell you that they never got around to looking at the minutes book because they spent most of the time trying to find the bank statements for the month of May.   I spent the majority of the time making notes on things to put in my Executive Planner book and jotting down ideas for TWIT.   They also spent over an hour looking for a twenty-cent discrepancy on a transaction.  I was ready to get in my purse and give them two dimes and just call it even.

Summer Vacation Update

The vacation is going along just as I'd planned:  great.   I've gotten some extra sleep, and after just a few days, I've gotten used to not working.  Well, I guess my vacation is not quite like I'd planned.  I didn't expect for the entire country to be under a massive heat wave the week I was off.  But yes, I do know it is the middle of July and it is summer, so it's to be expected.  But as you know, I love my a/c and I haven't been venturing too far from it this week. 

There's not much else to report right now, so I'm going to go and enjoy my vacation some more.  I'll report back tomorrow.  Everyone keep cool, drink plenty of liquids and stay out of the heat as much as you can.  I know I will. 

Top Ten Things I Did On Summer Vacation As A Kid

1.   Play outside until bedtime
2.   Watch "The Mike Douglas Show" with Grandma
3.   Stay up late and watch Johnny Carson with Grandpa
4.   Go fishing with Aunt Sybil
5.   Spend a week at Uncle Paul's farm
6.   Collect aluminum beer cans from the Catholic church picnics and recyle them for  summer spending money
7.   Plan during the summer for the big trip to the state fair
8.   Take an afternoon nap in Grandma and Grandpa's bedroom because they had a window air conditioner
9.   Dig in the garden for arrowheads
10. Go to the rodeos and horse shows with Dad and Mom

Sorry - I Only Have A Twenty

I ran an errand for a friend the other day because they weren't familiar with this certain part of town.  They were involved in a fender-bender, and I offered to run down to the police station to pick up their accident report while I was in the general area running an errand for myself.  After driving through the parking lot twice I finally was able to find a parking spot fairly close to the building.  My luck was going to be good, I thought.  I walked to the police station and as soon as I opened the door I saw a little area enlcosed in plexiglass with a huge sign that said "Accident reports - this window."  It's not often I find the right area or office on the first try when dealing with the city or county. Good luck once again.  I was the only person there, and told "Teressa" that I wanted to pick up an accident report and handed her the little card with the report number on it.  She said "Just one moment" and handed me a customer service survey card to fill out about my experience there.  It was fairly short - I just check-marked "excellent" on everything and put the card on the counter.  Then Teressa came back and told me that it would about 15 to 20 minutes because they didn't have any paper, and a woman was bringing some back to put in the printer.  Ohhhhkay.  Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but this woman's sole job is to print out accident reports for people. This is what she does all day long.  You'd think she would keep am ample supply of paper there in her little office for her job?  I'm sure she wouldn't be too thrilled if one of the police officers in the office next door to her was chasing a robber that had just mugged her told her "I'm sorry, I don't have any more bullets.  Please wait 15-20 minutes while my partner goes back and gets another box."

The woman who actually worked in the accident report office came back and Teressa picked up her purse, coffee mug and some papers and left.  She was just filling in while the other woman was getting the paper.  I'm still sitting in a chair in the waiting area, which consisted of one chair, and am waiting patiently.  Time goes by, and 4 people come to the window and get their reports.  Color me stupid, but I was under the impression that Teressa told the lady that I was waiting on my report.  Color me wrong. Aftet 25 minutes, I went up to the windowand told the lady I was still waiting for my report, and that Teressa took the card and said I would have to wait because somebody was getting more paper.  The woman muttered something under her breath about Teressa and went off to another room.  Five minutes later she came back with the report.  "That will be forty cents" she told me.  At this point, I was beyond the fed up stage.  I got in my purse, and even though I did have the correct change, I reached in and pulled out a twenty dollar bill and handed her.  I was expecting her to say something like "Do you have anything smaller?" so I could fire back, but she didn't even flinch. I got my $19.60 in change and left. 

I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for the paper problem.  The woman at the accident report desk had to ask the paper-stocking-person for the paper, who had to ask the supply room clerk for the paper, who had to ask the security guard for the key to the supply room closet, who had to have the supply room clerk to fill out a request for the closet key.  Then, they found out they didn’t have the requested paper in the closet, so they had to as the purchasing coordinator to purchase more special paper, who asked security for authorization to make a call on an outside line, who….. I think you get the picture.

Link Of The Week

I received a new scam email this week.  No, I wasn't duped into giving out my credit card information; the scammers and phishers have to get up pretty early to pull one over on ol' Puddin.  But this new scam tactic was fairly believable.  The email was from a supposed eBay seller, demanding to know why I haven't paid for the item that I was the supposed winning bidder.  I read the email at first, because I thought that with all of the stuff I get on eBay, there was a chance I hadn't paid for an item.  Then I read the email and realized I didn't bid on an amethyst ring.  I went to the security section on eBay and forwarded them the email, and got a reply back from eBay saying they've had lots of reports of this scam going around.

I found a site this week that will give you all the infomation you need to know about scams, phishing, identity theft, and spyware. Just take a look at http://www.scamerica.org.  The site is legit, and you won't get spyware or a virus from it.  In fact, there's nothing to download - it's just an informational site, and a good one at that.  They list all the latest scams going on, and have an area where you can post about new scams that you've encountered.  Take a look.  It might save you alot of headaches in the future.

This Day In Numbers

Time I got out of bed:  8:55
Trips to Krogers:  3
Cars that stole my parking space on 2nd trip to Krogers: 2
Number of items I intended to only buy at Target:  1
Amount of money eventually spent at impromptu Target shopping spree:  $40.17
Temperature on our back porch at 3:00 p.m.:  93
Temperature on our back porch at 11:00 p.m.: 81
Number of cars parked at the party across the street:  22
Number of times I had pork in some form: 4
Innings of baseball sat through: 16
Number of home runs at double-header games: 4
Bottles of water consumed at double-header games: 3 1/2
CDs copied to iPod this afternoon: 7

Let The Vacation Start

I don't think I've worked as hard in my job as I did this week. Most people put it on cruise control and coast through the week before their vacation; not me.  Half of my department was out all week long, and I'm not too proud to admit that it wore me out.  Wednesday evening, I attempted to watch the Tuesday and Wednesday episodes of "All My Children" but I fell asleep after about fifteen minutes and when I woke up, the tape had run out and all I saw on the TV screen was black and white snow.  I was so tired I slept for almost two hours.  Needless to say I didn't sleep worth a dime that night, but at least I had a nice two hour nap earlier in the evening, so it all evened out.  A rough week at work combined with the heat and humidity this week has me zoned out.  Add to that the normal VFW and Ladies Auxiliary drama, and you've got one tired old girl. I can't wait to get to bed tonight so I can get some rest and sleep in tomorrow morning.  Instructions have already been given to wake me up only if the house is on fire or if there is an accident involving body dismemberment and blood.  If the 'rents stay away from an open flame or a chain saw, then I should be ok on my sleeping in.  I'll let you know tomorrow.

More Good Customer Service Reports

In a week where I've personally had terrible customer service experiences as well as hearing friends and co-workers tell their own customer service horror stories,  I have one bright, positive customer service moment to share.  This restores my faith in companies. 

Last Friday at work, I fired up my very cool egg and muffin toaster and made our own ZCO version of Sausage Egg McMuffins for a selected few.  This machine rocks.  It's worth every penny of the $39.99 I paid for it.  You put the egg in the tray, add whatever pre-cooked meat you want to another warming tray, and then put your bread of choice in the toaster, and set it and in four short minutes, everything is done at the same time and you have yourself a great breakfast sandwich.  But I digress.  It had been about six months since we last used the machine, and true to my loser luck, I had lost the instruction booklet that came with the machine, so it took a sandwich or two to get the kinks worked out before I had the machine running like it should.  While I was waiting for one of the sandwiches to cook, I looked at the toaster manufacturer's website online to see if I could find a PDF file of the instruction manual.  Of course, I couldn't.  So I did the next best thing - I emailed the company, and asked if they could email me a copy of the manual if they had it, or if they could contact me and let me know if I could order a copy of the manual.

I honestly didn't think any more about this until today at work when I looked in my mail slot and saw a manilla envelope addressed to me.  It was from the toaster manufacturer.  I opened it up to find the instruction manual booklet.  What a major surprise that was.  Honestly, it has been so crazy this week at work that I forgot that I had even emailed the company in the first place.  When I saw the booklet I thought how cool it was.  Most companies will charge your four or five bucks for a printed copy of an instruction manual; and this company sent it for free.  How cool is that?

So I urge you, my faithful readers, to take a minute to email, call or snail mail a company if you would like an instruction manual.  Don't be cynical like I used to be and think that evey company will totally blow you off.  There are still some great companies to deal with out there.  I wish you the best of luck in finding them.

Rockstar Over Kill

If you remember back this time last year, "Rockstar: INXS" was my favorite show of the summer.  I didn't miss an episode, and watched it live every week; I made sure I was home every week and didn't rely on the VCR to tape it for me.  I was so into it I had to watch it live.  True, I didn't like the winner J.D. Fortune, but hey - that's just my opinion.  I sure liked the show, though, so naturally I was excited this winter when I heard there would be yet another "Rockstar" show on this summer.  My excitement quickly faded about ten minutes into last week's first episode. It was sad.  I gave it another week before I made my official opinion.  It's still sad. 

I realize that the singers are trying out for the position of lead singer for a hard rock band, but everyone that I heard on both episodes screams.  They don't sing - they scream.  There's hardly any melody to the songs they sing, and I'd say three-fourths of the singers sing the songs like they've never heard them before.  A lot of singers will go to an audition and are required to sing a song they've never heard before, but they're professionals (or they should be) and can [hopefully] read music well enough to sing the song.  Not this bunch of singers on "Rockstar: Supernova."  I might be too hardass about this, but as I said last summer when I gave my weekly recaps of the show, I know what it takes for me to pay my hard earned money for a concert ticket or a CD, and to me, none of this bunch has "it".  They look the part - almost every one has at least one tattoo and one piercing, and most of the guys wear eye liner.  A lot of the guys and gals wear black fingernail polish, and everyone has either leather or chain accessories.  So they all look the part, but I can't see them fronting Tommy Lee's new band Supernova.  I'll give them all credit for one thing, though - none of this season's singers have the big Broadway voice like so many of last season's singers did. 

More Bad Customer Service Reports

At lunch today, I received several bad customer service reports from our friendly neighborhood Kroger grocery store.  The most common complaint here of late seems to be that whenever Kroger has a 10-for-$10 sale, they never have enough of the sale items in stock.  Take, for example, an incident that happened when a co-worker went to Kroger to buy some Kroger brand milk that was on sale 10 half-gallons for $10.  She bought one half-gallon of skim milk and one half-gallon of 2% milk for her kids.  Much to her surprise, they were sold out of all of the Kroger half-gallons of milk but had some of the Deans brand.  She needed milk, and like me, she didn't feel like running all over the county to save a buck, so she bought the more expensive Deans brand.  Here's the conversation between her and the checkout girl.

Checkout girl : The Deans milk isn't on sale
Co-worker: I know.  You didn't have any back there - all you had was Deans milk in the half-gallons.
Checkout girl: Would you like a raincheck?
Co-worker: No, my babies can't drink a raincheck. They'll have to drink Deans milk.

You'd think when stores advertise items on sale, they would actually order more of the items so they wouldn't run out.  Unfortunately for us shoppers, Krogers has become notorious for this.  I guess the same could be said for toilet paper.  You can't wipe your ass with a raincheck.  Well, I guess you could, but you have to remember it's just a small piece of paper.

I Need A Vacation

It's only Monday, but it sure seems like it ought to be at least Wednesday.  It was a very long and rough day at work. Two-fifths of my department was out today, and pretty much will be every day this week.  Us worker bees have been very busy, and it's only going to get busier as the week goes on. There's also been a ton of things going on outside of work with the VFW, church, and a calendar full of events that have had me practically meeting myself coming and going for the past couple of months. The only thing that will get me through this week is the fact that I'm on vacation next week.  For eleven days I won't have to go in to work.  That will be heavenly.  Never fear - you'll have a new journal entry every day while I'm on vacation. I could take the easy way out and just copy some of my most popular journal entries and re-post them, but you, my faithful readers, deserve better than that.

We jumpstarted my vacation yesterday by having a big fish fry at The Compound. It was an awesome time. It was nothing fancy - just a fish fry with walleye brought from the 'rents' trip to Canada, an awesome hashbrown casserole (made by fellow Diva Stacy) and one of the best chocolate cakes for dessert.  The best part was the people that attended the party - the 'rents and I were surrounded by family.  Not blood family, but what we call heart family - people that we are related to by our hearts.  The partiers were even treated to an evening full of karaoke, led by yours truly.  The last stragglers went home at about a quarter till ten last night.  A good time was truly had by all.

Link Of The Week

As you know from reading almost two years worth of TWIT journal entries, I try not to diss anybody.  Sometimes an entry or two about WT will sneak through, but I don't set out to diss anybody intentionally.  This week's Link Of The Week is a bit different, in that I'm going to diss somebody.  His name is Kevin.  He's a total psychological mess, and he's invited the world wide web to watch his every move.  Here's what his website says about him:  Kieran Vogel, 35yrs old has volunteered to allow the Internet audience to control every aspect of his life for six months live, on camera, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Viewers can vote to determine what he wears, what he eats, whom he dates, to whom he talks, what he watches on TV, what music he listens to, and much more.  He will also react to viewer calls and emails.   Vogel, who suffers from a host of neuroses, waived his rights to privacy and doctor-patient privilege to allow viewers to see his twice-weekly sessions with therapist-life coach Diane Lang. If Kevin makes it through the six months he will win a prize package worth upwards of $500,000.  If Vogel walks away before finishing his six-month commitment, he gets nothing.  Personally, I would bet on him walking away long before the six months are over.

Please check out http://www.ourprisoner.com and see for yourself how freaking bizarre this guy is.  After reading his biography, I'm truly surprised he's still alive, with all of the neuroses he has.  Maybe after we read about him, we might seem like we don't have any psychological problems after all.

I Was Almost A Thug

I made a quick trip to the grocery store today, knowing full well it was Saturday morning which meant the parking lot and the store would be packed, but I went any way.  I was surprised to find an empty parking spot just a few spaces down from the end of the row.  I whipped there and then I realized why this spot was empty: the empty spot was right next to PT Cruiser that had "Lab Corp" painted on the sides.  No wonder - who in their right mind would want to park next to a Lab Corp vehicle?  If I'd been a thug, I might have jacked that PT Cruiser, or took a tire iron and busted out the headlights.

In case you're one of the few healthy people that have never had to have any medical tests, you might not know about Lab Corp.  Lab Corp is the place where doctors send their tests.  If you've ever had tests run, then you are very familiar with Lab Corp.  You'll have a bill from them practically waiting for you when you get home from the doctor's office; yes, they are that quick.  They are also the last to bill your insurance company, which means they will worry you to death about getting paid.  They're the thorn in the sides of my co-workers at ZCO.  Last fall, one of the guys in engineering was still battling with Lab Corp over a bill from when his wife was in the hospital delivering their baby; the baby was now two-years old.  I have my own experience with Lab Corp.  In February of 2002, I had to have a CT scan on my lungs after I had a nasty upper respiratory infection.  In the summer of 2004, Lab Corp finally finally filed the proper paperwork with my insurance company. It makes no sense.  So now you see why I wanted to jack that car this morning. 

Things That Make You Go Sweeet: A Napoleon Dynamite Film Festival

I'll admit that I reluctantly watched "Napoleon Dynamite" about a year ago, after hearing some co-workers rave on and on about how funny it was.  A few of the guys at work could quote the movie word-for-word, much like I can quote "Gone With The Wind." I gave in and watched the movie one night last summer.  It was strange, very strange.  I didn't laugh that much during the movie the first time I watched it, but after someone told me to watch it again, it started to sink in during my second viewing.  The next day after I watched it the second time, I caught myself saying "Heck yes" at work repeatedly. 

I read online the other day that a Napoleon Dynamite film festival is going on this week in Preston, Idaho (where "Napoleon Dynamite" was filmed).  But it's not your ordinary film festival, where they watch the film; this festival is filled with activities related to the movie.  Some of the activities going on this week are:

A Napoleon Dynamite parade through the town of Preston.
A Napoleon Dynamite tour with a map locating several places in which filming took place.
Oohh, how about a special performance from The Happy Hands Club in the Preston high school auditorium?
Think you have mad Tetherball skills? How about signing up for the Tetherball tournament?
Folks can also check out a tater tot eating contest and a football throwing contest too.
Finally, the festival wraps up with a Napoleon Dynamite look-a-like/moonboot dance contest.

The funniest part of this festival is not the tater tot eating contest - it's the fact that they won't be watching the actual film they're celebrating.  Heck yes, you'd think that would be the focal point of a film festival.  But no - the article said the festival visitors would not be watching the film.  I hope they had a good time any way. 

Yogurt Anxiety

I went grocery shopping with the 'rents Fourth of July morning, and let me tell you it was an exercise in anxiety.  No, there wasn't any family drama.  We found a parking spot right by one of the entrances, and managed to find a shopping cart with all four wheels rolling in the right direction.  We even got some great bargains.  The anxiety happened when Mom asked me to go over to the yogurt section and pick up four cartons of yogurt for her.  There had to be a hundred different kinds of yogurt.  Here's just a few of the choices:  Original, Thick and Creamy, Soft and Creamy, Light, 99% Fat-Free, Fat-Free Light, Sugar-Free Light, No Sugar Added, Fruit On The Bottom, Granola On The Top, Whipped, etc etc.  I could go on, but I think you get the picture.  And I haven't even started on the Smoothie yogurt nor the yogurt for kids and babies; that's a whole other list.  The "regular" yogurts are usually on sale; the smoothie yogurt and the kids yogurt is insanely expensive.  Any given Sunday, you can find coupons in the sale papers, plus the stores almost always have a brand on sale.  But you're a better detective than me if you can find the brand that matches your coupon.

When did yogurt buying get so complicated? Back in the day, you had two choices of yogurt: plain or strawberry.  You had Dannon, Yoplait and the store brand. Then came the low-fat diets and our choices expanded.  And then everyone was low-carbing it and before we knew it, our choices were limitless.  Now we have a dozen different brands offering a dozen different types of yogurt.  It's enough to drive a girl crazy.  After staring hopelessly at the rows of yogurt, I found Mom in another aisle and politely asked her if she could be a bit more specific.  Once she told me "Blue Bunny Sugar-Free" I went back and found it within seconds. 

As a kid, I'd heard adults talking about how complicated life is.  I had no idea they were talking about yogurt.   

Mullet Watch

I'm happy to report that I survived not one but two days of the Waterfront Independence Day Festival.   It was hotter than hell on Monday, and yesterday it poured most of the afternoon and evening, but I survived.  Speaking of hell, on Monday evening, I was in the middle of WT hell.  There was 150,000 of us elbow to elbow down on the Great Lawn.  I'm not ashamed to admit that I was a bit claustrophobic with all of the people around me.  I was hot and thirsty, but didn't drink as much water as I should have simply because it would have taken forever to worm my way through the crowed to the Port-a-Pots.  It was crowded all right, but it was great for people- watching.  And watching people was what I did most of the evening.

I'm very happy to bring you news from the Waterfont. During Monday night's festivities (Trace Adkins in concert and fireworks) I spotted many mullets.  The crowning moment of the evening was not the fireworks or free music; the crowing moment came when at one point during the concert, I looked around and there within a 20 feet radius of my chair, was not one; not two; but three mullets.  The first belonged to a man sitting directly in front of me.  It was extremely long and must have had a dozen ponytail rings in it.  The second was another Hispanic mullet standing to the side of me. His wasn't as well cared for like the one we saw on Sunday, and he, too, was sporting a ponytail.  The third was a middle-aged mullet that had just begun to gray.  It was also pulled back in a ponytail.  I ask you - what are the chances of seeing three mullets at the same time? I don't think we've even seen that much mullet action at the State Fair. 

Mullet count: 31

Happy Birthday, America

TWIT would like to wish a very happy birthday to the United States of America.  She's 230 years old today.  It's the day that we celebrate our independence and freedom.  Truthfully, we should celebrate that every day of the year.  But as we all know, July 4 is the day we set aside to officially celebrate.  At last night's free concert down on the waterfront, all 150,000 in attendance were reminded of that at least a dozen times by the artists. I'm not dissing that - I think it's cool.  And because of our freedoms that we have, those artists could stand on the stage and say that and give their political opinions.  I don't think too many musical artists in Iraq or North Korea could stand on a stage and say that.  Well, they could, but they would probably be beheaded as soon as they got off their soap box.  

Regardless of what political party you belong to, or whatever political or governmental or Presidential beliefs you have, we can all say what we want to.  Sure, some of the Hollywood stars get on my nerves with their rantings and ravings, but I try to overlook it, just because they have the right to say whatever they feel.  And thanks to our forefathers who signed the Declaration of Independence 230 years ago, I have the freedom to write whatever I want to in my journal.  Thank you, forefathers, and God Bless America.

Mullet Watch

I'm proud to report another first in our Mullet Watch.  This weekend, fellow Diva Stacy and I were having Sunday lunch at one of our local Mexican restaurants when we spotted a mullet.  It wasn't just any mullet - this is our first Hispanic mullet.  Before you criticize me, I'm not being racist or prejudice - I will gladly give equal time if we ever spot an Asian or Austrailian mullet.  You could tell the mullet wearer had spent quite a few minutes perfecting his mullet -- he had blowbacks that were blown back perfectly, and was all business in the back.  I will say that he had a very pretty head of hair; I know women would give their right arms for black hair that shiny and healthy. 

We also spotted another mullet in the restaurant. This one was probably the shortest mullet I've seen, but it was still a mullet.  It wasn't as neatly coiffed as the first one we saw there, but it counts nonetheless.  The wearer was a middle-aged man who we agreed had no business wearing the sleeveless muscle t-shirt that he had on.  His mullet was barely shoulder-length, but it was unmistakingly a mullet. 

Mullet count: 28

Link Of The Week

This edition of Link Of The Week was sent to my by my dear friend and faithful reader Big Mama. She always sends cool links, and this one is no exception.  It's nothing for you to read, buy, listen to or even think about - just something cool.  Go to http://www.chezclodio.com/divers/Hi.html and enter your name (first, first and last or first, last and middle - it makes no difference.)  After you click on the "submit" button, you'll see a cartoon penguin sliding down mounds of snow.  In a few seconds, you'll see the mound of snow with your name (or whatever name you entered) written on it.  If you'd like to send an e-card to someone, this would be a cool way to do it (pun intended.)  On a day like today when it's currently 94 degrees as I type this, take a minute and send a snowy e-card to someone that's sweltering like we are in the 'Ville. 

Be Careful Out On The Roads

For the past week, every local news channel has had a special report on travelling on the roads for the upcoming Fourth Of July holiday.  Each has had a different twist on their story - one talked about drunk drivers, one talked about the new hi-tech gadgets the police have in their cars, and almost every story mentioned how travellers will be faced with record high gas prices this weekend and next week.  I read an article online last night that gave the ten deadliest days of the year to drive.  Here they are:

1. July 4
2. July 3
3. December 23
4. August 3
5. January 1
6. August 6
7. August 4
8. August 12
9. July 2 
10. September 2

I can agree with most of them - there will be more people travelling on the roads the next few days than any other time of the year, so naturally, there will unfortunately be more accidents.  We all know that January 1 is New Years Day, and at about 2 or 3 in the morning, all of the drunks will attempt to drive home after partying for hours and hours.   December 23 makes sense to me, too - people are usually out rushing around from store to store doing their last minute shopping, and travellers will be out on the highways going to relatives homes for Christmas, so that date makes sense to.  But the dates in August make no sense to me.  It's the hottest part of the year - you'd think people would be at home in the a/c instead of out on the roads travelling.

In addition to the above dates, I think we need to add some more for people here in Louisville. Here's some very dangerous days to be out on the roads:

The Friday before Derby Day - more commonly known as Derby Eve.  Even if people aren't rich enough or lucky enough to attend the celebrity-studded parties that evening, they'll most likely be downtown at the Chow Wagon drinking.  And when they close the Chow Wagon at midnight, the partiers scatter and head to other waterhing holes for a few more hours.   There's also more people out on the roads this day because they'll be driving all over town to get to their bookies and give him or her their Derby bets.

April 15 - the day our income tax returns are due.  It's always funny to watch the 11:00 news on the night of April 15 to see the long lines of cars at the main branch of the post office as people drop off their income tax returns so they can be postmarked before midnight.  You don't want to be any where near our main post office, or really any post office for that matter, on April 15.

The day after Thanksgiving - this is the shopping day from hell.  I pity the unfortunate soul who has to go to work this Friday morning, because they will enounter all of the crazed bargain hunters racing all over the city to buy a VCR for $14.  It's one day you want to stay off the roads all day long. 

The hours following the end of Thunder Over Louisville - even if you're no where near the downtown water front, you'll still hit mega traffic because of the street closings downtown.  Trust me - I know what I'm talking about.  I know it makes no sense logistically but it's just something you have to accept and deal with. 

The evening of the first day of school - you do not want to be on any road that leads to a store that sells school supplies.  The majority of the people on the roads that evening will be people who did not get their kids' school supplies and have to make a mad dash to Target or Wal-Mart with thousands of other mothers and kids.   Never mind the parents received school supply shopping lists weeks earlier; for some reason they have to wait until the evening of the first day of school to make their pilgramage to the shopping meccas.  Avoid all travel on this day.  Venture out of you're brave enough, but stay away from any place that sells paper, pens, and pocket folders.