Arena, Schmerena

Our gas and electric company, LG&E, announced yesterday that they have to pass along higher natural gas prices from their suppliers.  Naturally, they're passing the increase on to us.  The increase is expected to be 64%.  Translated, if your LG&E bill was $84 before, after the increase effective November 1, your bill will be $144.  I guess I shouldn't be complaining too much.  Things are worse across the river.  My dear friend MP said that his gas and electric company announced a 70% increase in their rates this fall and winter.  In a supposed unrelated event, LG&E will be moving their downtown transmission substation so the new @#$%ing U of L basketball arena can be built on the LG&E property.  Incidental, or coincidental?  You tell me.  

The proposed arena is expected to cost approximately $300 million, most of which I'm sure will be covered by us picking up the tab.  Our Governor and Mayor both say there is "new money" to pay for the arena;  well, I'm sure there is - new money out of our pockets in the form of higher taxes.

Most of the people you talk with here in Louisville are against a new arena.  If our tax dollars are going to be used for some new project, then let the new project be something that more people would benefit from - like improvements to the roads and highways.  They've been talking about building a new bridge for years, but they can't decide on where to put it.  But they sure decided real quick about this new arena.  It just makes no sense.  A basketball arena for a college team should be on or within walking distance of the college campus - not across town from the college.  The city couldn't get a pro basketball team to commit to coming here, so they were damned and determined to get a new arena any way.   I could not care less, just as long as they leave Slugger Field alone.

The Old School Bookstore

School is back in full swing now, and the store shelves that once had row after row of school supplies are now full of Halloween candy.  If the school kids need something that Target or Wal-Mart or Krogers doesn't have, they'll need to get it at the school bookstore.  The bookstore was the place to shop.  It showed the other kids "I'm big enough to buy my own school supplies."

The bookstore at Greenwood Elementary and Conway Middle Schools were almost identical - they had a very cool half-door.  The first time I saw it at Greenwood Elementary, it reminded me the door that Mr. Ed had in his barn.  Except Mr. Ed didn't have a small shelf on his half door.  The shelf was where we would slide our money to the clerk and where she would place our loot.  Our librarian at Greenwood pulled double-duty and worked at our bookstore before school.  She wore black cat-eye glasses, and had them hanging around her neck on a chain.  If there was a particularly difficult transaction, she would put the glasses on, and slide them down the bridge of her nose. 

Usually, we would get my school supplies at Consolidated, our big discount store.  But if I ran out of something and it was too late to go out to the store, or if my parents didn't want to be bothered, they would give me money to pick up the stuff the next morning at the bookstore. Oh how I loved when that happened.  I loved strolling up to the bookstore half door, and whipping the money out of my little purse.  Grandma or Grandpa would always give me some extra money on bookstore days so I could buy one of the very cool little car erasers that were sold exclusively at the bookstores. Sometimes, we would find unused staples and stick them in the bottom of the car erasers so they would slide better. They also sold very cool pencils - fancy, colored ones; not like the boring old yellow pencils.

The Greenwood bookstore also sold candy, which I'm sure is considered contraband today.  On special days, our bookstore sold Charms candy - the square version of fruit-flavored Life Savers.  In the meanwhile, they sold cherry cough drops.  Practically every kid at Greenwood Elementary had a pack of cherry cough drops at all times; you'd think we were a school full of TB patients. 

Photo Essay of MEM05, Part I

Here it is, faithful readers.  As promised, here are some photos from the infamous trip to Memphis.  In the first installment, we have pictures taken at Graceland.  I hope you enjoy them.

1.  The living room and music room.  Note the stained glass peacocks.
2.  The dining room
3.  Elvis' karate uniform.  He was a black belt.
4.  The Meditation Garden.  There was no weeping nor wailing when we were there.
5.  Elvis' grave
6.  Front of Graceland
7.  Yours truly in front of Graceland.  Don't I look cool?
8.  Close-up of the gates at Graceland
9.  Gates at Graceland                                                                                         10. Stacy by the Lisa Marie

Brangelina

While we're on the celebrity couple theme, here's an interesting piece I read in People magazine last week.  Somehow, I tend to believe it. 

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are making the grade with female college students, at least when it comes to sex education. According to the Boston Herald, a recent poll by the data-minded folks at Playboy finds that 54 percent of college women would cheat on their boyfriends with Brad, while 57 percent of them would hop into the sack with Angelina.   

 

Miracle At Gate A-4

I've read articles and interviews with people that said they've seen the ghost of Elvis Presley as they toured Graceland and the grounds.  Most of the reports were the same story - they saw Elvis' ghost at an area by the swimming pool.  Well, we didn't see his ghost at anywhere near Graceland, but we did see an eerie likeness of The King when we were Walking In Memphis one last time. On our return trip home, were walking down the gateway from the terminal to the plane, and passed by the above door.  We both saw it at the same time and stopped and stared.  It was a silouhette of Elvis, perhaps wearing a jumpsuit, with his arms out in a pose that he struck frequently in concert. I immediately got out my camera and took a picture.  People coming down the gateway behind us noticed it, too, and they stopped and took pictures.  We think it's kinda freaky.  From a distance, it appears that his leg is moving, like he did on the Ed Sullivan Show. 

In reality, this is just a cracked window on a door that had been patched with duct tape.  But to the Divas and some of our fellow passengers, we saw The King as we were leaving Memphis.

Congratulations, Demi and Ashton

TWIT would like to congratulate newlyweds Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher - the Hollywood hotties tied the knot this weekend.  Moore, 42, and Kutcher, 27, were married at a friend's home this past Saturday night.  The super couple have been together for over two years.  Among those in attendance at the wedding was Bruce Willis, Demi's ex-husband, and their three daughters.  Soleil Moon Frye and husband were also at the private wedding.  If you'll remember, Soleil Moon Frye played "Punky Brewster."  There has been no mention if the wedding was non-denominational or if it had a Kabalah theme. 

This is the first marriage for the 27 year-old Kutcher, and the third for the 42 year-old Moore.  Rumors have been running rampant for months, speculating that Moore was pregnant.  She's been very vocal in interviews saying that she and Kutcher want to expand their family.  But there are no current reports that Moore is pregnant.  You'll hear it here first, folks. 

TWIT wishes the best of luck to the newlyweds.  Demi's kids are crazy about Asthon, and Ashton is even pals with Demi's ex,  Bruce Willis.  They all seem to get along great, and there's been no scandals involving  Moore and Kutcher, so I think the marriage will last.  She's a very sharp lady, so I don't think Ashton is going to punk her. 

Link Of The Week

Here in the U.S., we can't watch ten minutes of television programming without hearing at least one advertising slogan.  An evening of TV watching is full of "Have it your way" or "It's the real thing" or the current catchy phrase "I saved 20% on my car insurance by calling Geico."  Well, folks, we're not the only country to be bombarded with ad slogans; they're all over the world.  A good friend sent me a link to a funny site based in United Kingdom.  You enter your a name, and it will bring up an actual advertising slogan used in a commercial or print advertising in the UK.  I spent a half an hour the other day entering my name over and over and actually laughing out loud at some of the slogans. Check out the Advertising Slogan Generator at http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi  and try it for yourself.

Here's some of my favorite slogans it came up with:

Gives a meal a Puddin appeal
Recommended by Dr. Puddin
Puddin is our middle name
There's no wrong way to eat a Puddin
Bridge that gap with Puddin
Tell them about the Puddin, Mummy
Puddin - Australian for beer

MEM05 - Day 3

We came and the Divas took Memphis like Grant took Richmond.  I'm sitting here typing today's post, and though it's only 8:30 I'm having trouble keeping my eyes opened I'm so tired.  We packed more into this short trip than most people do in a full week's vacation - maybe even two weeks.  We're both worn out, but we're still absolutely thrilled over what a great time we had.  We landed safely back in Louisville a couple of hours ago, and none too soon - Memphis was getting ready to get a mother of a storm just as were leaving today. 

As stated yesterday, I'm just too tired to deal with downloading and uploading the photo essay of MEM05 right now, so it will have to wait till tomorrow. But until then, let me share with you the number one thing that hacks me off when traveling by airplane:  people carrying on huge carry-on bags.  The airlines all have a restriction on the size of your carry-on, but evidently some people think that rule doesn't apply to them.  As we were sitting in the terminal this afternoon waiting for our flight back home, we saw person after person hauling a big ass suitcase on wheels that they wanted to try to cram into the overhead bin on the plan.  Some of the suitcases we saw today wouldn't go into the overhead bin with a crowbar and axel grease.  And the majority of the travelers with these huge alleged carry-ons had more than one.  It just makes no sense, faithful readers. 

For the travelers like the Divas, we carry on a small less-then-regulation-sized bag.   When we get on a plane and try to find a spot to fit our small bags, we usually have to walk back up the aisle of the plan till we find a bin that has a few inches of space for us to cram out bags into; this is all because of the inconsiderate travelers that chose to carry-on a bag big enough to hold the entire contents of their closet.  I get that some people don't want to be bothered with trudging to the luggage claim carousel and haul their suitcases out to the car or the curb to be picked up, but I'm sorry.  I don't want to not be able to carry on my carry-on just because you don't want to spend an extra 10 minutes picking up your luggage the claim area. 

Personally, the Divas would rather just carry on our purses and nothing else, but as is our pattern, when on a major trip like this we buy a lot of souviners.  We usually have to cram a bunch of new things into our suitcase, and end up bring the majority of our new loot on the plane with us in our regulation-sized carry-on, which we have to pack through the airport, only to find that the overhead bins are full.  It's just my luck. 

MEM05 - Day 2

I'd originally planned to post a bunch of photos on here today for you, my faithful readers, but in all honesty I'm just too worn out right now to deal with it.  I will post more photos when I get home on Sunday.  We've had some issues with the wireless internet connection in our hotel room for the past day and a half, and I'm not real sure that the airwaves are strong enough for me to post a bunch of pictures.

These major issues were enough to make me almost bang my head against the table last night.  After making 4 futile phone calls to the front desk to get a password to sign onto the wireless connection, I'd had enough and headed downstairs to the front desk to get help in person.  They ended up giving me some contraption to hook up to the laptop and it still didn't work.  I called back to the front desk and they transferred me to some support center probably a thousand miles away.  But at least the guy I talked with was able to manually get me connected through the network.  At last I was able to post a note in TWIT.  Tonight, it was the same problem over again, sans me trudging downstairs to the front desk.  In all honesty, I'm just too damned tired to have made the trip down there.  After 3 calls to the front desk, they finally transferred me once again to the support center.  And once again, they had me connected in a minute or two.  But tonight, the signal is not very strong, and as stated earlier, I'm too tired to deal with the pictures tonight.  

Our trip to Graceland this morning was more than either of us can put into words. Some of the message boards and fan forums I've read in the past few months were not very kind about the fans that make their version of the trip to mecca; the word "freak" was used quite frequently to describe the visitors to Graceland.  I was expecting it to be like the crowds I encounter at the crane games at Wal-Mart, but it couldn't have been more wrong.  The people we saw today were just like us - fans that travelled and paid money just to see where the King lived.  As we were standing in line for an hour [in the 96 degree heat with 80% humidity] get on the shuttle bus to take us up to Graceland we were amazed as we looked at the long line of fans. People in wheelchairs, pushing walkers and carrying oxygen tanks were waiting there with us.  As we listened to the people around us talking, it didn't take long for us to realize that us red-blooded American girls were definitely in the minority; the majority of the people taking the tour of Graceland were from a foreign country.  Our age, social class, or ethnic background didn't matter one bit; we were there for one reason and one reason only - to see where Elvis Presley lived, and ultimately died.

MEM05 - Day 1

The flight to Memphis was uneventful, thank goodness. As we were taking off, I made the comment that maybe I shouldn't have picked last night to be the first time I watched an episode of "Lost." But there aren't too many jungles between Louisville and Memphis, so I figured I was pretty safe.  The flight was smoothe and quick, thank goodness because we had babies in the rows in front and behind us. 

After checking into the hotel and hanging up clothes, we headed a couple of blocks over to Peabody Plaze and had lunch at Isaad Hayes' restaurant.  It was very cool.  It was our first taste of authentic Memphis bbq.  We were entertained during our meal by watching a group of tourists from Europe that were dining there.  We laughed out loud when we saw them tearing into the collard greens and cornbread.

Our fun time at lunch was bittersweet.  Halfway through our meal, a young woman walked in with a little boy, probably 7 or 8.  He had no hair from probably countless chemo or radiation treatments, and he was wearing a surgical mask in order to not breathe too many germs.  We heard them mention to the server that they were at St. Jude, and we both fell silent at our table.  We were bigtime misty-eyed.  We both rtook a minute and thanked the Lord for Stacy's two healthy kids.  As if that wasn't bad enough, they had CNN on all of the big screen TVs in the place, and all we saw was coverage about Hurricane Rita.  We had to get out of this doom and gloom, so we did what any red blooded tourist would do - we headed for Beale Street.  We had a blast walking up and down the street, looking at the cool blues bars and shops.  Of course, we took tons of pictures at anything that we deemed picture-worthy. 

We made our way to the Gibson Guitar factory.  It was very cool.  I saw somethingt something I think I might have to pick up tomorrow on our way back from Graceland.  Heh heh heh. (Like I need another guitar.)  We then hopped the trolley and headed back down to the Peabody Hotel.  We got in the lobby just in time for the infamous duck parade from the fountain back up to their home on the top floor of the hotel.  We'll have pictures of this for you tomorrow, I promise.  We're in the hotel room now, resting up before we get our baths and go downstairs for a big ol' steak dinner. 

Here's a couple of pictures taken about an hour ago on famous Beale Street.  Beale is very interesting.  It's part Vegas strip and part Bourbon Street all mixed together.  We encountered some interesting locals during our Diventure today.  One guy was handing out flowers he probably picked from a nearby park or somewhere, and was giving them away on the street in exchange for "beer money."  Hey - at least he was honest.  I hope he sold alot of them because they're closing off Beale Street tonight, and charging people $20 to get in for a benefit for Hurricane Katrina relief efforts.  Somehow I don't think he sold that many flowers.

Until tomorrow, I'll be walking in Memphis.

MEM05 Eve

My bags are packed, I'm ready to go...Hey now! I don't want to start singing an old folk song tonight.  I need to be singing "Walking In Memphis" instead.  This is the eve of the Diva's annual big trip.  Last year, it was Nashville and the year before was the monumental trip to Las Vegas.  This year, we're heading down to Memphis tomorrow morning.  To give you background on the name of the trip, MEM05, we use "MEM" which is the airport code for Memphis, and duh, 05 for the year 2005.  This trip also has a TCB theme.  For those that don't know, Elvis gave his band members and close associates necklaces with a lightning bolt and the initials "TCB" - it stood for "taking care of business in a flash."  I will be proudly wearing my TCB Elvis sunglasses tomorrow as I get off of the plane.  Incidentally, next year's big trip has already been named - it will be a return trip to Las Vegas appropriately called DLVII.  The D stands for us Divas; LV is for Las Vegas; II is the Roman numeral two, for our second trip there.  I've already got my order for a personalized plate for the BMW for next year and it will be DLVII.  How wacky is that?

We will take lots of pictures on our trip, and I will post some tomorrow evening for all of my faithful readers to see.  I will be keeping a journal of the trip, and will be sure to give you all of the highlights.  And not to worry - TWIT will not be neglected during this vacation.  Please cross your fingers that we can find an Elvis impersonator to have our pictures taken with. 

Thank you, thank you very much.  Puddin has left the building.

Rockstar:INXS - Final Round

The final three rockstars performed one song, based on the fans votes.

Mig - sang "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen.  Good band interaction.  Crowd went crazy.  Was truly entertaining.  Not quite as good as Suzie's performance, but was very good.
J.D. - sang "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Rolling Stones.  Still used big Broadway voice.  Throwing the stool was lame. Talked instead of sang.
Marty - sang "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd. Felt the emotion.  Was even more emotional than the first time he sang this.  Excellent performance.

After INXS huddled around the table and discussed the three rockstars, they were visably saddened to tell Mig he was not right for the band. 

The two remaining rockstars performed an INXS song with INXS.

Marty - sang "Don't Change."  Truly acted and performed like a lead singer with the band.  Good interaction with the band and crowd. Didn't scream.
J.D. - sang "What You Need."  Still acting like a Michael Hutchence clone.  Too spastic on stage.

Much to my dismay, INXS told J.D. he was right for the band.

After three months of watching Rockstar:INXS faithfully, I'm sad to see it end.  I think they should have had 100 contestants and let this show drag out for at least six more months. I would have gladly watched it for another season instead of having to find something else to watch each week while "Big Brother" is on. 

I'm also sad to see J.D. be named the lead singer for INXS.  He always used what I called his "big Broadway voice" in almost every song he sang on the show.  In first week or two of the show, he said how he knows all of the INXS songs, so I'm guessing he probably studied hours of INXS concerts because he acts just like Michael Hutchence did when he performed.  If that's what the rest of the band wants, fine with me - but I would think out of respect for Michael, they would have gone in a different direction for a lead singer. I was just sure that Mig would be the one they chose.  The crowd loved him, and INXS loved him, too.  I'm thinking that he might have been too versatile for them - another case of being overly qualified.  Even though I had no use for Marty once he smashed the guitar on stage, I was still surprised.  He was my second choice.  But he's not walking away empty handed - INXS asked him to open for them on their upcoming tour, and Dave Navarro told him he would be honored to play guitar on his album.  Oh well. We'll see how INXS does on their new album and world tour. 

Happy 30th Anniversary To Me

I can't believe that I was remiss in remembering the date, but this summer marks the 30th anniversary of when I started playing the guitar.  

If you've read previous posts, you already know the story of how seeing Ann and Nancy Wilson's group "Heart" in concert was the epiphany that caused me to want to learn to play.  Actually, there's a little more to the story.  It started about a year earlier.  My Dad played the piano and organ, and some friends would come over to our house and their son played the guitar and he would play along with Dad.  Well, being an only child and having a jealous steak in me a mile wide, it didn't set well with me.  I played the drums, and you just couldn't get a good groove going with the organ and drums.  So after being subjected to our friend Rodney getting to play along with Dad, that summer when I saw Nancy Wilson playing the guitar, I decided to do something about it.  As soon as we got home from that vacation trip, I got out Dad's guitar and the a "Country Hits of the 70's" music book and using the chord diagrams I taught myself to play.  The first song I learned to play was approrpriately enough  Tammy Wynette's "Stand By Your Man."  I was hooked. 

The drums fell by the wayside, and I started taking guitar lessons.  At first, I took classical guitar.  I learned how to play the awesome flaminco "Maleguena" and then jumped right into rock and roll and some heavy metal.  All in all, I took lessons for about 7 years, never once getting bored with it.  Nancy Wilson was my new idol, and I set out to learn every song that Heart ever recorded.

The years went by, and work and college got in the way and my music got moved to the back burner a few times.  But I never lost my love of the guitar.  I've got 5 guitars and one bass guitar in my collection, and in a couple of days, I hope to be adding one more guitar to my collection.  When we're in Memphis, we'll be visiting the Gibson Guitar Factory, and I hope to bring back a Gibson Hummingbird acoustic guitar. 

I'd love to write a few more paragraphs to you all, but while I'm enjoying my vacation days off, I think I'll go to the living room and dust off one of the cases and pull out a guitar and play a bit.  Any requests?

Rockstar: INXS - Round 11

This week's performance episode consisted of two songs, voted by the fans. 

Suzie - sang "Interstate Love Song" by Stone Temple Pilots. Showed she can rock   Interacted with the audience. Sang with power but didn't scream.
- sang "What's Up" by 3 Non Blondes.  Good concert talking inbetween songs. Was very strong in the higher range, but too Courtney Love.
J.D. - sang "Pretty Vegas" an original.  Still acting like a Michael Hutchence clone.  Needs to get rid of the megaphone.  WTF is up with kissing Dave Navarro?
- sang "Money" by Pink Floyd. Good version, but used big Broadway voice.  Throwing the play money out to the audience was lame. Needs to quit using props and concentrate on singing.
Marty - sang "Creep" by Radiohead.  Good delivery. Very dark.  Didn't scream for once. 
- sang "Trees" an original. His guitar playing didn't take away from his vocals. Having Dave Navarro play acoustic guitar on the version was cool.  Didn't scream. 
Mig - sang "Paint It Black" by the Rolling Stones.  Intro was too Broadway but the rest of the song was awesome.  Good version and good arrangement.  Shouldn't have screamed at the end of the song. 
- sang "Kiss From A Rose" by Seal.  Good arrangement.  Showed how wide his range is. Another good display of his versatility.

The voting results were revealed and the three that received the least amount of votes sang an INXS song.  Before the final round, Marty was asked to do an encore performance of his original song "Trees."  Before he sang the song he smashed a gorgeous Gibson jumbo acoustic guitar on stage.  Up until this moment, I had hoped that he would win and become the new lead singer of INXS.  After the guitar smashing, I would rather see J.D., who I've loathed since the beginning, win.

Suzie - sang "Suicide Blonde."  Good version.  Made it funky.  She finally acted and performed like a lead singer.
J.D. - sang "By My Side." Used big Broadway voice on chorus.  Too breathy on the verses.
Mig - sang "What You Need." Good stage presence.  The crowd went ballistic. Excellent performance - even tore his shirt like a rocker.

After the performances, INXS  reminded Suzie that this was Suzie's 6th time to be in the bottom three.  Unfortunately, they told her she was not right for the band.

 

Are You Ready For Some Football?

My love of the NFL started back when I was in 4th grade.  I was in love with Bob Griese.  In fact, I was sure I was going to marry him when I got older.  I lived and breathed the Miami Dolphins.  I had a very cool leather and wool orange and aqua Dolphins coat, and all of the accessories that went with it - gloves, scarf, and knit cap.  I wrote a letter to Bob Griese and got back a personally autographed picture of him; today, this is tucked safely away in our fireproof box.  When I was in the 6th grade, our beloved poodle Bridgette was killed, and to ease the pain, Grandma and Grandpa bought me a pair of Adidas tennis shoes.  Of course, I picked out the pair with the orange and aqua stripes on the side.  I also kinda liked the Baltimore Colts.  But that was just because our neighbor's brother lived in Washington D.C. and whenever he would come to visit, he would bring me Colts souvenirs. As I grew older and got into the guitar, the NFL fell by the wayside. 

My love of the NFL experienced a rebirth 7 years ago when the Tennessee Titans were born.  I absolutely love the Titans.  I know that there are two other pro teams much closer in proximity to Louisville, but I don't care.  Sorry - I don't like the Colts nor the Bengals; I'm a Titans fan.  I've had the pleasure of seeing the Titans play both a home game and an away game, and those two games were the most awesome sports experiences I've ever had.  At the away game up in Indy, I had to endure a miserable loss to the Colts, but I still loved it.  At the home game in the very cool Adelphia Stadium, I got to witness the Titans beat the Ravens. 

This year, one of my friends in the engineering department at work invited me to join his fantasy football league.  I jumped at the opportunity.  This league was free to join, unlike most of the other fantasy football leagues at work.  Of course, I have no clue to what I'm doing, but that doesn't matter.  It's free and it's fun. I lucked out in our draft;  the commissioner drew names for draft positions, and lucky me, Puddin's TWITs got first pick.  I swallowed my pride, ate a lot of crow, and chose Peyton Manning for my first pick. 

Each week, teams go head-to-head.  And for one week, I could gloat and say that I was tied for first place in our league. Last Sunday, I beat my new friend and fellow blogger, the editor of Brain Farts.  For one week, he could say he was beat by a girl.  My glory was short-lived, as my luck changed yesterday afternoon when I was pummeled to the ground in this week's games by the Jungle Dwellers.  This week, I humbly say that I was beat by a preacher.  Yes, a man of the cloth was the owner/manager of the team that beat me.  I think the word "pummeled" is actually mild compared to the beating that I got yesterday. But since I was beat by a preacher's team, I will refrain from the terms I would have used.   I think he had some major divine intervention on his side yesterday.

Link Of The Week

A few months ago we were drawn into the Terry Schiavo drama, and we watched this poor woman die every night for weeks on the evening news.  I've always been a believer that something good comes out of something catastrophic or disasterous, and this was no exception - it made us think about "What if that was me?" and it caused alot of us to get living wills.

If you haven't gotten a living will, I strongly urge you to get one.  In addition to a living will, there's a couple more necessary legal documents you need to get.  Take a few minutes and go to http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/retirementandwills/planyourestate/p34945.asp and find out about the three legal papers we shouldn't live without. 

Happy Birthday, B.B. King

TWIT would like to wish B.B. King a very happy birthday.The blues guitar legend is 80 years young.  His reign as the undisputed king of blues is longer than any monarch, and he continues to wear his crown well today.  Despite diabetes and his age, B.B.still tours and performs, and is still cranking out the albums.  

For more than half a century, Riley B. King - better known as B.B. King - has defined the blues for a worldwide audience. Since he started recording in the 1940s, he has released over fifty albums. He was born September 16, 1925, on a plantation in Itta Bena, Mississippi, near Indianola. In his youth, he played on street corners for dimes, and would sometimes play in as many as four towns a night. In 1947, he hitchhiked to Memphis, TN, to pursue his music career. Memphis was where every important musician of the South gravitated, and which supported a large musical community where every style of African American music could be found. B.B. stayed with his cousin Bukka White, one of the most celebrated blues performers of his time, who schooled B.B. further in the art of the blues.

B.B.'s first big break came in 1948 when he performed on Sonny Boy Williamson's radio program on KWEM out of West Memphis. This led to steady engagements at the Sixteenth Avenue Grill in West Memphis, and later to a ten-minute spot on black-staffed and managed Memphis radio station WDIA. "King's Spot," became so popular, it was expanded and became the "Sepia Swing Club." Soon B.B. needed a catchy radio name. What started out as Beale Street Blues Boy was shortened to Blues Boy King, and eventually B.B. King.

In the mid-1950s, while B.B. was performing at a dance in Twist, Arkansas, a few fans became unruly. Two men got into a fight and knocked over a kerosene stove, setting fire to the hall. B.B. raced outdoors to safety with everyone else, then realized that he left his beloved $30 acoustic guitar inside, so he rushed back inside the burning building to retrieve it, narrowly escaping death. When he later found out that the fight had been over a woman named Lucille, he decided to give the name to his guitar to remind him never to do a crazy thing like fight over a woman. Ever since, each one of B.B.'s trademark Gibson guitars has been called Lucille.

I had the pleasure of seeing B.B. Kingperform last year when he appeared in Louisvlle. He blew me away.  He didn't prance around the stage, thrashing about like most guitarists do; he sat on a chair center-stage and performed.  But he still blew me away.  When he performed "The Thrill Is Gone" you actually could feel that the thrill was in deed gone.  I remember the first One-Touch commercial he did - he would put his hand over his heart and say "You want to feel the blues here."  You can definitely feel it when B.B. plays.

I'll be visiting B.B.'s club next week when we're down in Memphis.  I already read that he will be performing in Nashvill next week while we'll be in Memphis, so I'm almost positive he won't be at his club, but you never know.  In the meanwhile, just write me in care of the blues.

Sorry 'Bout Your Luck, Rene and Kenny

Just four short months ago, TWIT was congratulating Rene Zellweger and Kenny Chesney on their marriage.  Today, we offer them our support on their marriage annulment. People Magazine reported last night that the couple was having their marriage annulled.  Rene and Kenny have been squelching rumors for the past two months, and I guess it just got to be more than they could handle.  Reports say that Zellweger initiated the anullment and contacted Chesney Wednesday night. Zellweger said the reason for the anullment was fraud.

One of Chesney's biggest hits is a song called "You Had Me From Hello," a takeoff on the famous line "You had me at hello" from Zellweger's breakout 1996 movie role opposite Tom Cruise, Jerry Maguire. I wonder if he'll still sing that in concert?  Oh well. I'm not going to gloat and say "I told you all it wouldn't work"; I'm going to add them to my Favorite Celebrity Annulments.

Rene Zellweger and Kenny Chesney (4 months)
Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman (5 months)
Britney Spears and Jason Alexander (55 hours)
Darva Conger and Rick Rockwell (3 weeks - they were married on "Who Wants To Marry A Multi-Millionaire?)
Lisa Marie Presley and Nicholas Cage (3 months, 15 days)
Michelle Phillips and Dennis Hopper (8 days)
Zsa Zsa Gabor and Felipe De Albe (1 day)

The Real Truth About The Gas Prices

I don't think I even need to comment.  This pretty much sums it all up.

Gladiators Ready?

I have no idea what made me think of this, but this afternoon at work, I thought about the "American Gladiators."  No, I'm not getting it confused with Russell Crowe's "Gladiator" movie; I'm talking about the first quasi-reality show.  Actually, it was part game show and part reality show.  In case you don't remember, or maybe are trying to forget, here's a little lesson about the American Gladiators.

"American Gladiators" was an hour long game show, featuring 4 contestants (2 men, 2 women) competing directly against each other for points. To prevent the contestants from getting points, of course, were the Gladiators. The two male contestants squared off against male gladiators, and the two female contestants were matched up against the female gladiators. The Gladiators were pushed as people to be hated... they were cocky, arrogant, and loved rubbing defeat into the faces of the wussy contestants. In between contests, the Gladiators would talk smack, just like pro wrestlers would, and the crowd would boo them like we used to boo the Iron Shiek back in the day. There was a small cast of roided-up Gladiators, all decked out in their red, white, and blue spandex. Each gladiator played their own 'part', much like in wrestling... in fact, certain Gladiators supposedly had 'specialty' events that they excelled in.

Powerball was one my favorite events.  This was in the day before Powerball was a lottery.  It was a football-esque competition in which the challengers tried to battle through a fleet of Gladiators and put foam balls in a garbage can.  The contestants would usually get sacked.  The tackles weren't fake like WWF; the Gladiators would slam them into the floor - men and women alike.  In fact, the female Gladiators were rougher than their male counterparts in this event.

Assault was another favorite event.  The challenger moved across the floor, hiding behind big blocks and used a crossbow, rocket launcher, and a gun to fire tennis balls at a target above one of the Gladiator's heads. At the same time, the Gladiator had a cannon that would fire tennis balls at the challenger. If the challenger made it through using the weapons without getting hit, they got one last chance to hit the target by throwing three tennis balls.  The Gladiators' aim was dead-on.  In the rare event that a challenger would hit the target, the red and white bullseye would shoot out smoke.  You don't see special effects like that on "Big Brother."

My favorite Gladiators were Nitro and Ice. They were the only two Gladiators to appear in all seven seasons.  I thought they were by far the hottest.  I also liked Hawk.  He was born and raised here in Louisville, and was the only Gladiator to have a Master's Degree. 

I did some research, and was surprised when I read that the "American Gladiators" was on the air for seven seasons, from 1989 to 1996.  Yes, the show was silly, but foks, this was about the same amount of time that "Frasier" and "Mad About You" was on the air.  The show earned its owned Nintendo 64 video game, and spawned a kid's version of the show, as well as a couple of foreign versions. 

With all of the other reunion shows that are on these days, and with the popularity of reality shows, I'm surprised that there hasn't been an "American Gladiators" reunion.  I'd even fork over the money for pay-per-view to see a show like that, just to get a look at what the buffed Gladiators look like fifteen years later.

Update Tuesday

Alarm Clock Oddity

It's happening again.  For the past three weeks, during the weekdays, I've been waking up at exactly 6:47 every morning.  I have my clock radio alarm set for 6:50.  It's something that I just can't explain.  It's not like my clock radio makes a noise three minutes before the alarm is set to go off and wakes me up.  It's just weird. So to compensate, I just lay there for those three minutes, and then when the radio comes on at 6:50, I quickly hit the snooze alarm and go back to sleep for another 9 minutes.

Deep Freeze Mystery Explained

After talking with Mom last night about the deep freeze thaw-out mystery, she finally shed some light on the mystery and you'll be happy to know what I was fully exonerated from all blame. The incident happened at our other home, which was across the street and up three houses. (Background:  my Dad and Grandpa built our current house and we moved into it when I was 6 years old.) To quote Mom verbatim about the ugly incident "It was a bloody mess when all of the meat thawed out."  You see, we used to buy a half a cow's worth of beef at a time, so our deep freeze was full of steaks, ground beef, and ribs.  While she never gave up who the culprit was, she did say that yours truly was totally innocent.

Rockstar: INXS - Round 10

This week's performance episode consisted of each rocker performing a song that was the most requested by the fans and an original.

J.D. - sang "Come As You Are" by Nirvana. Couldn't understand the words. Sounded too breathy.
Self-written song - "Pretty Vegas" - a catchy tune, but talked instead of sang.  Looks like he watched every concert on video that INXS ever made. Screamed and couldn't understand the words to the song.
Suzie - sang "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt.  Could feel the emotion.  Very smoothe. Good effect of sitting on a stool in the middle of the stage.
Self-written song -  "Soul Life" Could understand the words.  Put emotion into the song.  Sang with power instead of screaming.
Mig - sang "Hard To Handle" by the Black Crowes.  Prissed around the stage like a girl.  Didn't scream like the other guys. Good interaction with the band and audience.  
Self-written song - "Home In Me" - could feel it.  Played the piano but didn't take anything away from the vocals.  Felt the emotion.  Showed how versatile he is..
Jordis - sang "We Are The Champions" by Queen.    Was uncharacteristically shakey on the verse, but strong on the chorus.  Crowd went ape.  Very powerful in the upper range. 
Self-written song - "Try Not"  Very Edie Brickel or Fiona Apple.  Talked instead of singing. 
Marty - sang "Everlong" by Foo Fighters.  Didn't scream for once, but had trouble with pitch. Good acoustic version.  Props for showing    his g-string strap.
Self-written song -  "Trees." Very INXS.  A very catchy tune.  Screamed a bit too much, but the song was as good as any you'd hear on pop radio today.
 
The voting results were revealed and the three that received the least amount of votes sang an INXS song.

Jordis - sang "Need You Tonight."  Could have blown them away but was very uncomfortable and unsure.
Suzie - sang "Never Tear Us Apart." Very soulful performance.  Took control of the song and made it her own.
J.D. - sang "Mystify." Still my least favorite of the Rockstars, but gave the best INXS song performance of this round. Could actually understand the words.

INXS seemed a bit sad when they  told the Rockstars that it wasn't going to get any easier.  Then they solemnly gave Jordis the news that she wasn't right for the band. 

The Fear Of The Deep Freeze

If you were raised in the south, chances are your family had a deep freeze.  No, I don't mean a night when the temperatures were way below 32 degrees; I mean a big freezer.  Some were upright, like a refrigerator, and some were like a big chest that opened from the top.  I don't think I ever heard my parents and grandparents call ours anything except a deep freeze.  Come to think of it, I don't think I heard anybody refer to it as anything except a deep freeze. 

We kept ours down in the basement when I was a kid.  It was over in the area of the basement where we stored the Mason jars of vegetables, fruits and juices that Grandma had preserved.  Our deep freeze was also close to where I kept my games and toys.  If I wasn't watching TV upstairs in the family room, I was downstairs in the basement playing.  And for this reason, Mom and Grandma would keep popsicles in the deep freeze for me.  Although the deep freeze housed my popsicles, I'm not ashamed to say I was afraid of it.  Mom and Grandma had put the fear into me and would repeatedly remind me of what would happen if I didn't make sure the deep freeze door was closed properly.  Needless to say, whenever I would get something out of the deep freeze, I would push against the door as hard as I could, just to make sure it was closed.  In all of the years that we had the deep freeze down in the basement, only once did we have an 'issue' with the door being left open.  To this day it remains a family mystery who the guilty party was.

Link Of The Week

I love AOL.  I always have, and until I can get the same service and amenities for free for another server , I always will.  They allow me to bring TWIT to you, my faithful readers, every day.  I'm not ashamed to say I've thought a few times about switching to another server, but I didn't because I want to keep the same email address.  If any of you are thinking about changing servers, but don't want to go through the hassle of the changes that come along with a new email address, never fear.  Just go to http://www.trueswitch.com.  They will send one email to everyone in your email address book, notifying them that your email address has changed.  And if you have saved emails in your inbox or saved mail box, they will copy them and send a copy to your new email address. 

If you are want to switch to MSN, SBC Yahoo or AT&T Worldnet, the service it free.  If you want to switch to any other provider, such as AOL  it will cost you $20.  But that's a small price to pay for this convenience.  And the older I get, the more I am willing to pay for convenience. 

Happy Early Birthday, Mom

For the past few years, Mom has joked that she starts celebrating her birthday two weeks before her actual birthday.  Last year, the final count was six official birthday meals at a restaurant during the two-week celebration.  Add to that I think two or three cakes, and you've got an event to equal the Derby Festival celebration. 

Not wanting this year's birthday to be any different, we kicked off Minnie's Birthday Extravaganza in our typical high style.  Dad and I flew under the radar and headed over across the bridge to The Concrete Lady and picked out this cool fountain for Mom's birthday. Actually, we intended on just window shopping today.  We were going to narrow our choices down to 3 or 4, and then come home and make our final choice.  But in my typical got-to-have-it-now style, we agreed on this fountain and bought it.  I bet The Concrete Lady doesn't have too many customers hauling home a good-sized concrete fountain in the back of a BMW. But we got it home and set up with no complications.  Needless to say, Mom was very surprised. And as you can see in the second picture, Rocky thinks he has a new water fountain.

Thoughts On The Past Week

I wasn't going to post an entry on this subject, but I've received several requests from you, my faithful readers, who asked for my opinion on how the hurricane rescue efforts have been handled.  So here it it is.   

On Monday, it will be two weeks since the devastating hurricane Katrina destroyed New Orleans, Biloxi, Gulfport and hundreds of thousands of lives. Almost a week went by before food, water and aid was given to the majority of the evacuees.  That is pathetic. Once again, our country is being criticized by other countries for not taking care of its people.  I have to take the side of those other countries on this one.  Republicans, Democrats, the political party affiliation doesn't matter - the government let those people down. 

I was truly sick to my stomach last Friday when I heard Michael Brown say that he honestly didn't know that twenty thousand evacuees were stranded at the convention center.  Yes, the whole week had been a nightmare, and I'm sure that he and other government officials working on the hurricane relief efforts forgot a few things.  But that was something that the head of FEMA should have known.  Heck - we all knew it, just from watching the news.  I'm sorry that it took almost two weeks for this shiester to be fired from his job at heading up FEMA. We learned that he had been fired from his previous gig as head of the Internation Arabian Horse Association.  Well, that tenure surely made him qualified to head up FEMA, now didn't it?  If he had gotten demoted sooner, maybe there might have been more survivors. 

It will never make sense to me why it took so long for the stranded people to get help.  News crews were able to brave the flood waters and debris and get to the hardest hit areas just minutes after the hurricane moved through; you can't tell me that rescuers couldn't have gotten there, too.  Harry Connick, Jr. was even able to get in to the flooded downtown area of New Orleans.  If a singer can do it, how come government and military, who are trained for this type of thing, had to wait almost a week to start helping?  What would it have taken for someone higher up to tell the military to get as many helicopters in the air as possible, load them with bottled water and MREs andstart dropping them down to the stranded people? 

For the past week, we've heard countless reports from rescuers who said they were ready and equipped to help just a day or two after the hurricane hit, but their orders never came.  For whatever sick and twisted reasons those in charge had for the delay and neglect, that's something that they'll have to answer for on Judgement Day.

What Happened To You, Mary Kate?

Something terrible has happened to Mary Kate Olsen - she's turned into a bag lady.  I'm hoping and praying that this was some crazy stunt she had to do during Rush Week at NYU, where she is a freshman.  Surely Ashley wouldn't let her twin sister go out in public like this.

I realize the Olsen twins can't be twelve forever, and that they had to grow up and become the young moguls that they are today.  But Mary Kate's fashion sense is just beyond me.  Doesn't she know that millions of young girls look up to her and her sister?  She and her sister Ashley are considered style icons by some, as the New York Times noted earlier this year, “In fact the twins are trendsetters for the latest hipster look.”

If dressing like a bag lady is part of the latest hipster look, I think I"ll pass.

File Under: WTF File Under: WTF

Is it just me, or is anyone else annoyed by McDonalds' new advertising strategy?  They play the same commercial (advertising this week's two-for special) two times during the same commercial break.  Just like last night, during "Rockstar: INXS", they played the annoying commercials twice.  You know the one - the guy comes in to his apartment carrying a McDonalds' bag and a soft drink, and puts his change in a coffee can sitting on a homemade book shelf.  Apparently he saved so much change, that the added weight of the change caused the plywood shelf to break.  Now that's a lot of leftover change.

At first I didn't pay much attention to it; I wrote it off as either my mind playing tricks on me or that someone goofed in the programming department at the television station.  But after seeing the same commercials repeated like that for the past few months, I guess it's some bizarre advertising strategy.  But it just annoys me.  Is McDonalds hurting for business so bad that they have to show the same commercials thirty seconds apart?  There's no celebritys in this commercial, and no exotic location - just a ordinary young guy in an ordinary apartment.  So I guess it was a very low budget commercial to make, and they're determined to cram it down our throats as much as they can. 

All I can say is thank goodness Burger King didn't do the same thing with their Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch burger.  I might have pulled an Elvis and shot out the TV screen. 

Rockstar: INXS - Round 9

Ty - sang "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Rolling Stones. Put too much soul into it. Used too much vibrato. Should have stuck with the cover version.
J.D. - sang "Suspicious Minds" by Elvis Presley. Used big Broadway voice. Lost pitch on climax of song.  Too busy on stage. Too distracting. The hat looked like he was playing dress-up.
Marty - sang "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd.  Excellent version.  Stayed on pitch and didn't scream for once.  Felt the emotion.  Was very Dylanesque.
Jordis - sang "Imagine" by John Lennon.  Very smoothe. Nailed the high notes. Stayed on pitch and stayed in rhythm while playing the guitar.
Mig - sang "Live And Let Die" by Paul McCartney.  Bad ass outfit.  Looked and acted like a rock star.  Orchestra was awesome.  Screamed a bit too much.
Suzie - sang "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen.  Awesome version.  Orchestra and choir was awesome. Band was awesome on instrumentals and vocals.  Best performance of the entire season.  Was truly a show.

The voting results were revealed and the three that received the least amount of votes sang an INXS song.

J.D. - sang "This Time."  Sounded lethargic. Lost pitch and stayed off pitch.  Flat.
Ty - sang "The One Thing." Didn't use big Broadway voice, thank goodness, but growled on the verses.
Jordis - sang "Listen Like Thieves." Sounded very stiff and almost robotic. Didn't put any emotion into the song.

It's a shocker this week, as INXS tells all three that they gave underwhelming performances this week. The rockers can't believe it when INXS tells Ty he's just not right for the band.

Farewell, Bob Denver

I'm sorry to report that our beloved Gilligan, actor Bob Denver, has died.  He was 70 years old.  Denver died Friday of complications from treatment he was receiving for cancer.  He also underwent quadruple heart bypass surgery earlier this year. 

Denver's signature role was Gilligan, but when he took the role in 1964 he was already widely known to TV audiences for another iconic character, Maynard G. Krebs, the bearded beatnik friend of Dwayne Hickman's Dobie in the "The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis," which aired on CBS from 1959 to 1963. Krebs, whose only desire was to play the bongos and hang out at coffee houses, would shriek every time the word "work" was mentioned in his presence.

Gilligan on the other hand was industrious but inept. And his character was as lovable as he was inept. Viewers loved the skinny kid in the Buster Brown haircut and white sailor hat. So did the skipper, played by Alan Hale Jr., who always referred to his first mate affectionately as "little buddy."

"As silly as it seems to all of us, it has made a difference in a lot of children's lives," Dawn Wells, who played castaway Mary Ann Summers, once said. "Gilligan is a buffoon that makes mistakes and I cannot tell you how many kids come up and say, `But you loved him anyway.' " No matter how often Gilligan botched up a potential rescue opportunity, the rest of the castaways always forgave him. There's not too many shows on today that show that kind of unconditional love. 

My favorite "Gilligan's Island" episode was when Gilligan drank fluorescent dye that the professor made.  They were going to paint as much of the island with the glow-in-the-dark substance, in hopes that a plane or ship would spot them and rescue them.  But Gilligan thought it was the fixings for one of Mary Ann's coconut cream pies, and drank it all.  But it wasn't all a total flop - Gilligan glowed in the dark after drinking the stuff, so the skipper and everybody else made him stand up on the tower they built, hoping that he would be spotted by a plane.  They don't make comedy shows like that any more, folks.

We'll miss you, little buddy, but as long as there's reruns, your memory will live on.

I Think The South Africans Are On To Something

Anti-rape condom aims to stop attacks

Thu Sep 1,12:02 PM ET

A South African inventor unveiled a new anti-rape female condom on Wednesday that hooks onto an attacker's penis and aims to cut one of the highest rates of sexual assault in the world.

"Nothing has ever been done to help a woman so that she does not get raped and I thought it was high time," Sonette Ehlers, 57, said of the "rapex," a device worn like a tampon that has sparked controversy in a country used to daily reports of violent crime.

Police statistics show more than 50,000 rapes are reported every year, while experts say the real figure could be four times that as they say most rapes of acquaintances or children are never reported.

Ehlers said the "rapex" hooks onto the rapist's skin, allowing the victim time to escape and helping to identify perpetrators.

"He will obviously be too pre-occupied at this stage," she told reporters in Kleinmond, a small holiday village about 100km (60 miles) east of Cape Town. "I promise you he is going to be too sore. He will go straight to hospital."

The device, made of latex and held firm by shafts of sharp barbs, can only be removed from the man through surgery which will alert hospital staff, and ultimately, the police, she said.

It also reduces the chances of a woman falling pregnant or contracting AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases from the attacker by acting in the same way as a female condom.

South Africa has more people with HIV/AIDS than any other country, with one in nine of its 45 million population infected.

Ehlers, who showed off a prototype on Wednesday, said women had tried it for comfort and it had been tested on a plastic male model but not yet on a live man. Production was planned to start next year.

But the "rapex" has raised fears amongst anti-rape activists that it could escalate violence against women.

"If a victim is wearing such a device it may enrage the attacker further and possibly result in more harm being caused," said Sam Waterhouse, advocacy coordinator for Rape Crisis.

Other critics say the condom is medieval and barbaric -- an accusation Ehlers says should be directed rather at the act of rape.

"This is not about vengeance ... but the deed, that is what I hate," she said.

 

What a great idea - I wish I'd invented this.  I think they should do the testing on live males in the prisons, using the convicted rapists and sex offenders as the guinea pigs.

Link Of The Week

Disclaimer: First of all, let me apologize to you, my faithful readers.  I was unable to post the Link Of The Week on Sunday due to technical difficulties from AOL. 

A faithful reader and dear friend MP commented on my post about the auto-tip being printed on the restaurant check, and he asked me to find the answer to some tipping questions.  I did some research for him, and posted in the comments on that particular entry about tipping your mail carrier. In doing the research, I came across a good site that lists almost every person and occassion where one would be compelled to tip.  Take a look at http://www.finetuning.com/articles/1036-tipping-made-easy.html and all of your tipping questions will be answered.  No more guessing about how much you should tip the pizza delivery PAT ($2-$3 is the suggested tip, regardless of how many pizzas you order.) 

Incidentally, the legend has it that the term "tip" is supposed to stand for "To Insure Promptness."  If that's the case, shouldn't we be tipping before, instead of after?

 

I'm Better Than I Thought I Was

With all of the devastation and horrible news from the Gulf this week, I was ready for something happy to happen.  A friend gave me a new DVD/CD burner a few weeks ago, and I just hadn't taken the time to install it.  To be honest, I was afraid to. Other than installing a new modem or USB port, I've always sent the computer to the shop to have drives and other things installed.  But after getting instructions from Bos, our computer guru, I had confidence and was going to give it a shot.  The only thing I had on my "list of things to do over the long weekend" was to uninstall the old non-working CD burner and install the new DVD/CD burner.  Well, faithful readers, that task is accomplished.

After sleeping in this morning and having a couple cups of coffee to get me going, I decided to give it a shot.  After checking mail this morning, I procrastinated and put it off a couple more hours.  My confidence level had dropped.  But an hour ago, I had a boost of courage and got my trusty Philip's head screwdriver and can of air and got down to business.  In all honesty, the hardest part of taking the old burner out and putting the new one in was trying to get two screws into a corner hole.  Rocky the neighbor's black Lab was here visiting, and he wandered to the back bedroom while I was trying to get the screws in, and I'm sure if he could talk he would say he learned a few new words today.   But perseverance prevailed, and I got it put back together and just now finished burning my first CD with the new burner. 

It wasn't as frightening as I thought it would be.  I'm no longer intimidated by the insides of my desktop computer. I would never think of trying to mess with the harddrive or motherboard, but I think anything else is fair game.  My next piece of hardware I will install will be a card with 3 or 4 UBS ports.  It's not so scarey after all.

I'd like to ask a favor from you, my faithful readers.  Please leave your comments on what software you use for CD and DVD burning.  I need to install software for the DVD burning, and I'd like your opinion on what to use.

File Under: WTF?

I've always considered myself an above-average tipper.  Unless a waiter/waitress dumps my plate of food in my lap, they can usually count on at least a 15% tip.  Although nobody tips me for doing my job, I figure what the hell? If I can afford to go out and pay for a meal or a drink, I might as well splurge and fork over a few more bucks for my server.  I know it looks tacky, but I've been known to whip my PDA out of my purse to figure up the tip.  It was much easier to figure out the tips when our sales tax was 5% - you just had to multiply the tax times three and then you'd have your 15% tip.  Now that our sales tax is 6% it's a bit harder for someone mathematically challenged like me. When I go out to eat with Stacy, I usually rely on her to tell me how much to tip; I don't embarass her by getting out my PDA or calculator.  We went to lunch the other day, and being in a happy mood over our upcoming trip to Graceland, I picked up the check.  I looked at the total and started to ask her how much she thought I should leave for a tip, when something on the check caught my eye:  there in smaller print just below the total of the check, was "18% tip" and the actual dollar amount, an exact 18% of the total of the bill.  It wasn't an approximate amount, rounded down or anything; it was figured down to the exact penny.

As I said, I don't mind giving a 15% tip, or sometimes more if the service was outstanding, but a restaurant telling me how much to tip is just out of hand. We love this restaurant; it's one of our favorite places to dine, but we were blown away when we saw the bill with the tip amount printed on it.  I wonder what's going to be next?  Will churches start printing an amount of a suggested donation on the bottom of the Sunday morning bulletin? As treasurer at our church, maybe that's something I should think about.

I Feel Guilty

I just got back from a trip up to a new Super Wal-Mart that just opened, and I have to say that I honestly felt guilty tonight when I was in the check-out line.  I felt guilty for buying a new blouse and two CD's, while tens of thousands of people down in Mississippi and Louisiana are without their homes and are in desperation right now. 

I saw a blouse in yesterday's sale papers that came with the Courier, and wanted to get to Wal-Mart and get the shirt to take on the upcoming trip to Memphis.  I tried on the shirt and then tossed it in the plastic basket and made my way to the electronics department of the store to get the two CD's that I wanted.  As I made my way to the check-out lines, an overwhelming feeling of guilt come over me.  I thought about all of the people on Mississippi and Louisiana that have been evacuated or are waiting to be evacuated, and I actually felt guilty for buying $35 worth of stuff that I really didn't need.  People were down in Mississippi and Louisiana, standing and laying in the flood waters and on rare pieces of dry pavement, with nothing more than the clothes on their back, and yet I was fortunate enough to be able to buy a cool shirt and some CD's with pocket change.  Something was wrong with this picture.  I tried hard to keep from getting misty-eyed as I stood there in the check-out line.  All I could think of was the elderly people - the ones that didn't survive the past few days, and the ones that were enduring hell on earth right now.  Yes, I have a major soft spot in my hard heart for the old people.  But as it was my turn to be checked out at the cashier, I promptly gave her my debit card for my shirt and CD's, took my receipt and went out to my car which happened to have a full tank of gas.  And as I started it up and pulled out of the parking lot, the guilty feeling hit again.

On the ten-minute trip home, I did alot of praying and thinking.  I came to the conclusion that God allows these things to happen to make the rest of us get into our thick heads that we really don't have it so bad after all.