The Rat King

I saw something Sunday afternoon that freaked me out - I saw my first inner city sewer rat. 

After our usual Sunday morning chocked full of drama at Fourth Avenue Baptist Church, we were standing out in the parking lot discussing said drama when something caught my eye.  My parents were talking with Sarah, the coolest old lady you'll ever meet, and Linda, another cool lady (and the world's biggest U of L fan) and I had just gotten in the car. Somethin captured my attention.  I turned around, expecting to see a squirrel, and instead saw a big, dark gray rat running across the parking lot.  At first glance, it appeared to be about three feet long.  After watching it scurrying across the parking lot, I'm guessing it was more like nine or ten inches long.  Well it might as well have been as big as my BMW.  I locked the door on the car, as if it were going to reach up with it's feet and open the door and climb inside with me.

You're probably thinking "she's reeeeeally exagerating on this one."  But there are two other witnesses that saw the rat; reputable witnesses - Officer Theo Mitchell, one of the off duty cops that we hire for security during church, and his aunt who has been attending church at Fourth Avenue for the past year.  They were in his car about 20 feet from mine, and the rat ran between our two cars.  I can't be sure, because I don't read lips very well, but I think she was telling Theo to whip out his Glock and shoot it. 

My parents have been doing the cleaning and maintenance at Fourth Avenue for probably the past 12 or more years, long before we moved our membership there, and they said in all of the years of cleaning there they've never even seen a rat, nor even a mouse, inside the church.  Mom said she's never even seen any rodents down in the "dungeon" as we call it - under the church, below the formal basement are catacombs that the church used for storage back when the church was built in the late 1800's.  It's kinda spooky down there, yet it's very cool to experience the dungeon.

After consulting with the chairman of the deacons, and the official maintenance man of the church, my Dad, he assured me that I didn't need to start singing Michael Jackson's song "Ben".  He said that in his professional opinion, that the rat probably came up from one of the drains along Fourth Street and ran across the parking lot going to the garbage cans in the back alley.  I hope he stays in the alley.