"S" Is For Stress

I was talking with one of my friends at the VFW the other night, and asked her how her granddaugthers were doing.   She said that one of her granddaughters (a fourth grader) was thrilled to death because she's a teacher's aide. She went on to say that her granddaughter went through an interview process for the position.  She even had to wear a dress (compolete with dress shoes) and was interviewed by the teacher. I should have asked my friend if her granddaughter had to fill out an application or turn in a resume.  I wonder how the kid found out about the position?  Did she read about it at Careerbuilder.com or maybe at Monster.com?

I told this story to a co-worker, and lo and behold, she was able to one-up my story. Her grandson, who just started the first grade, is running for student council.  My co-worker said "He couldn't spell 'student council', much less know what one is."  This raises some questions.  What will the first grade student council election be like?  MOst of the first graders won't be able to read the election ballot because they can't read.  The candidates won't be able to make campaign signs or put together speeches because they can't write.  And once elected, what exactly will the first grade student council do?  I don't have a clue.

It's no wonder kids are more stressed out than ever before.  They have to worry about things like student council elections and about how to dress for an interview. And heaven forbid they lose the election or don't get the position they wanted - they'll have to deal with feelings of rejection.  That's way too much pressure for elementary school kids.  Let them be elementary school kids, and leave the elections and interviews and rejection to us adults. 

File Under: WTF?

Driver gets 70 speeding tickets in 5 months

PHOENIX, Arizona (Reuters) - As a mortgage broker in Arizona, Francesca Cisneros is used to working with big numbers. It's the double-digit speed limits she has trouble with.

Cisneros racked up 70 speeding tickets in the last five months, a record for the Scottsdale Police Department, police said on Friday.

Speeding cameras in Scottsdale, a suburb of Phoenix, snapped pictures of the 32-year-old woman as she tore through the sun-baked city in her Honda Civic between March 2 and July 31.

"She told arresting officers she was speeding because she seemed to be late for client meetings all the time," Scottsdale Police Department spokesman Mark Clark told Reuters. "I guess she's got some time management issues."

The second-worst offender in the department's history accumulated a mere 25 tickets, Clark said.

Police said Cisneros said she threw her speeding tickets away because she thought nothing could happen to her if she didn't pay them.

Clark said Cisneros faces some $11,000 in fines and could have her license suspended.

Maybe I'm looking at this differently, but somehow I don't think I would choose a lady that just throws away speeding tickets instead of paying them to be my real estate broker.  That might be some indication of the way she does business, or how much she pays attention to details.  If she just throws away 70 speeding tickets that she's received in just five months, do you think she just might throw away papers that need to be filed with the bank or mortgage company, too? 

And what's up with her speeding in a Honda Civic, too?  She's driving one of those little wind up cars.  If the article had said she drove a Corvette, or any car that has more than four cylinders, it would be easier to digest.

Women, Stay Out Of The Junior Department

I've noticed a disturbing trend over the past months:  older women (late 30's and up) wearing teenage clothes.  Perhaps you've noticed it, too.  It's been more noticable this spring and summer, with older women wearing the popular baby doll tops, which leave the midriff exposed.  The majority of the women wearing these tops have no business wearing them.  I asked a dear, dear friend her opinion on this and she concurred.  She's like most of us - we don't want to see a midriff unless it looks like it belongs on Shania Twain or Demi Moore's body.   Unfortunately, the majority of the older women wearing these midriff-bearing tops don't, although they probably think they do. I guess when they look in the mirror, they think they look like Demi Moore or Shania Twain.  If you are an older woman, and happen to have a firm, flat stomach, well , you go girl.  But please keep it covered and don't wear a top that your 12 year-old granddaughter would wear. 

Before people get their panties in a wad, let me explain - I'm not saying women need to wear house dresses that our 85 year old grannies wore; I'm 43 years old, and I wear trendy clothes but I don't go shopping for clothes that teenagers wear; teenage clothes are for teenagers.  I might be deemed a hardass, but let me go on record and say that I don't think they should be allowed to shop for themselves in the Junior Departments of clothing stores.  I think the Junior Department clerks should ask to see an ID when the older women attempt to buy teenage clothes.  While they're at it, let's just nip this in the bud and have them not sell any teenage clothes to any women over 30.  Maybe the stores could install a security monitoring system, similar to those already in the stores - you know the kind - the alarm goes off when someone walks out of the store with that big plastic tag still on the clothes.  On the new alarm, it could be set to go off whenever an older woman takes clothes from the junior department into a dressing room to try on.

You might think I'm harsh, because I would be banning any woman from going to the junior department - they might be going there to buy clothes for their daughter.  This is pretty much non-issue, because we all know that teenage daughters shop with their teenage friends; they would rather have their eyes gouged out then to have their mother out shopping for them. I'm sure I'll get some flack on this, but as I've said before, this is my blog and I can say what I want.  The older women that wear the teenage clothes don't have to look at themselves like we do.  Give us a break and leave the teenage clothes to the teenagers.

Top Ten School Supplies From Elementary School

1.   clipboard
2.   denim Trapper Keeper
3.   Elmers paste
4.   blue Bic pen
5.   protracter
6.   half-red, half-blue pencil
7.   pink Magic Rub eraser
8.   64-count Crayon box w/built-in sharpener
9.   red and black plaid book satchel
10. red and black plaid lunch box

Link Of The Week

I'm not proud to admit this, but the internet has made me lazy.  Many a time I'll get online just to look up a phone number or address in the "white pages" or "yellow pages".  Sure, it might be easier to get up and walk to find the old school white pages or yellow pages directories, but in my mind it's faster to just look online.  A friend gave me a link to a great new white pages search engine. It gives quite a bit more information than the white pages on AOL or MSN or Google.  I've heard from a few people that put their name in the search engine, and they say it gives a bit too much information.  But I'll let you be the judge.  Check out http://www.zabasearch.com and try it out. 

Fair Days

If you live here in the 'Ville, then you knew that the state fair was going on this past week.  In the past two summers that TWIT has been around, I've posted the top ten interesting things seen during my trips to the fair.  I'm sorry to say you won't be getting a top ten list this time. I made it to the fair twice this week to attend free concerts, and it wore me out so much I wasn't able to go back and just walk around and look at everything.  I guess I just can't hang like I used to.

I went Tuesday night to see Dwight Yoakum (one of the best concerts I've ever attended, by the way) and Wednesday night to see Gary Puckett and B.J. Thomas.  Each night, I met some friends right after work and we headed over to the fairgrounds and got in line so we could get good seats when they opened the gates.  Each night, we got there at about 5:15, and stood there in the hot afternoon sun until they opened the gates at about 6:30.  Then we all ran in like we were in the Olympics, running up the ramps and down the steps to try and claim seats in the first few rows.  We lucked out - Tuesday night we were on the 3rd row center stage, and Wednesday night we were on the 2nd row center stage.  Not too bad for free.  We brought sandwiches and soft drinks in with us, so we wouldn't have to peel for the $$$ priced food, and then we sat there each night until the shows started at 8:00.  Then we sat some more, until the concerts ended at about 11:00 or so.  I'm not ashamed to say it wore all of us out.  For six hours, we either stood, ran or sat.  One of my even friends had to take the day off on Thursday so he could get rested.  We all decided that next year we would take a few vacation days during that week, so we could get rested up enough to go back again.  We'll see.

Farwell, Pluto

After much discussion, astronomers announced yesterday that Pluto is no longer classified as a planet.  In a time where it's common to hear of companies downsizing, it's surprising to hear that our solar system has been downsized.  What will be next?  Will geographers come with facts and figures and declare that Antarctica is no longer classified as a continent? 

Pluto has been a planet since it was discovered in 1930.  The International Astronomical Union voted yesterday to downsize the solar system to eight planets.  Now all textbooks, encyclopedias, charts, and films will be to be revised.  Teachers this fall will have to even revise their lesson plans for astronomy homework - they'll now have to tell the students to put only eight planets in their solar system models.

It seems like yesterday I was at the kitchen table trying to put my solar system model together using the suggested styrofoam balls, toothpicks and modeling clay.   I can't remember if it was fourth or fifth grade, but I had to make a model of the solar system.  I was disappointed that I couldn't make an erupting volcano out of clay and paper mache, but I decided to make the best looking solar system model that I could.  I decided that I would have Grandpa spray paint the styrofoam balls different colors.  Putting a can of spray paint in the hands of a fourth grader was not a good idea - even as I kid I knew that. One thing we didn't know was the fact that spray paint, if sprayed on too heavily, would eat up the styrofoam balls.  After looking at a couple of the styrofoam planets, they had eroded and had craters.  At first I wanted to just throw them away and paint new ones.  But Grandpa and Dad told me that the erosion spots would make the "planets" look realistic - my planets would have craters.  Sounded good to me. 

I remember looking at the other kids' models - some put their models inside of a cardboard box or even a smaller shoe box, and had their planets hanging by string.  We decided that the toothpicks were too small and too short, so Grandpa got a hand full of the long fireplace matches and we used those instead of toothpicks. I walked down to the little store two houses down the street from us, and asked Mr. Nelson the owner for a thick cardboard box.  I wasthe only kid in the class that had used a Sterling beer box for their solar system.  We turned the box on its side, and put little mounds of modeling clay on the inside of the box.  In case you're not following this,  I stuck the long matches into the stryofoam balls, and then stuck the other end of the matches into modeling clay that was on the cardboard.  And there you have it: fourth grade Puddin's model of the nine-planet solar system.  

Welcome

As you know, I don't intentionally try to embarass you, my faithful readers.  But you also know I do give props.  I'd like to give a big shout out to some new faithful readers this have joined TWIT this week.  Welcome to two members of my VFW crew, LP and LM . And for the record, they are two of the coolest, nicest people I've met in my almost-year in the VFW post.  I'd also like to welcome a faithful reader I'll refer to as 3A D. She'll know it's her.

Thanks for taking the time to read TWIT, new readers.  And thank you again to everyone that takes the time every day to read what I have to say.  As always, my faithful readers rock.

That's Interesting

MSN's homepage always has eye-catching headlines.  Yesterday, a headline did in deed catch my attention and I had to read the accompanying article.  The headline said "How To Be Interesting At A Party."  In just a few short paragraphs, the article gave instructions on to start a conversation at a party and what to say to keep the conversation going.  The article gave basic common sense advice - like don't wait for the host/hostess to introduce you to the other guests; be bold and introduce yourself.  The article also said the key to conversation is to ask the other person about theirself.  

That's all well and good, but I really don't think you can be taught to be interesting at a party.  You can be taught to be a good bartender, and you can be taught to be a good caterer.  You can even be taught how to properly set a table for a dinner party.  But I don't think any amount of lessons or how-to articles can teach you to be interesting at a party; you're either interesting or you're not.  Maybe the article should have been about "How To Tell If You Are Interesting At A Party."  That should be pretty easy to find out - if you go to a party and are talking and people walk away while you're talking, chances are you're not interesting.  In that case, maybe you might want to refrain from being the center of attention and just be a bystander who listens to the interesting people.  

Drama At The Pizza Buffet

I had a very drama-filled lunch yesterday. I went to Pizza Hut for their buffet.  In case you didn't know, I love Pizza Hut thin crust pizza.  When I arrived, I was the only person in the restaurant.  I got my drink and then went to the pizza counter.  They only had pepperoni in the thin crust, so I got one piece of that and two pieces of the supreme pan pizza.  While I was eating a major WT couple came in and ordered the buffet.  I heard them say "No soft drink, we'll just have water."  Maybe they don't like Pepsi products.  Anyhoo, they went to the buffet and I swear in court all totalled, they each had 4 plates full of pizza.  When I say full, I mean at least 5 or 6 pieces on each plate.  That having been said, let's get to the drama, shall we?

I ate my thin crust pizza and could only  make it through half of one of the pieces of pan pizza because it was just too doughy, so I just ate the toppings. Then I saw a worker bring out a thin crust pizza.  I scurried over there and the WT man had literally ran across the restaurant to get to the new pizza.  I had grabbed a clean plate and had just put the pancake turner thing under the pizza and was ready to get a slice of supreme thin crust when the WT man said "I can only eat the thin crust.  They made that specifically for me.  You can't get that."  Do I even need to mention how that lit my fuse?   I said "Oh, they did, did they?"  He said "Yes, I told them to."  I said (in a louder voice so the manager and workers could hear me) "OK - so you're telling me I can't have one piece of this entire large pizza because you "can't" (I put down my plate and used my fingers to make the quotation mark gesture) eat any other type of pizza crust."  He just looked at me like I had 3 heads, grabbed the spatula and proceded to pile his plate full of the thin crust pizza.  I bent over and looked at the pizza pan and then said "Hmmmm I don't see a sign on here that says "property of . . ." so unless you bought and paid for a large pizza, anyone in this restaurant can eat a slice of your pizza. " With that I reached for another spatula and  put one more piece of the thin crust pizza on my plate and went back to my booth and finished eating. 

When I got back to work, I told the story to my co-workers, who raised a fewquestions about the pizza buffet.  I've a feeling you might be wondering the same so I'll answer them for you.  First of all, no I wasn't scared.  He had about a hundred pounds on me, but I know I could have outran him while he was still eating his fourth plate of pizza.  Second, no I wasn't packing.  And third, no, I was not under the influence of drugs.

New TV Show Review, Sorta

Disclaimer:  Faithful reader discretion is advised.  The following journal entry might not be of interest to my male faithful readers.  But this is my journal and I can write whatever I want to. 

In TWIT, I normally don't review TV shows, unless I discuss "Rockstar" or something that happened on "All My Children".  But last night I watched a preview episode of a new show on Fox called "Vanished."  I can't give many details about the plot because I didn't pay that much attention; my eyes were glued to the set watching the star of the show, Gale Harold.  Joking aside, the show is about a Senator's wife that is supposedly kidnapped.  Gale Harold plays an FBI agent working the case.  Let me say this now and get it over with - in my opinion, Gale Harold is the hottest man ever to draw a breath. 

I first saw Gale Harold when he was the star on a Showtime Original Series that ran for five years.  I didn't really like the show, but I watched every episode just to see him.  Sad, I know.  You would have thought I was ten years old watching David Cassidy on "The Partridge Family."  I've read some articles that said Gale Harold resembles Ashton Kutcher.  I can see the resemblance, but Gale Harold is way hotter. 

Enough of my fawning over Gale Harold and how hot I think he is; back to "Vanished."   As I mentioned, a Senator's wife is missing, and it's up to our hero FBI agent Graham Kelton to solve the case.  The show is a bit like "24", in that each episode will take up where it left off the week before.  So if you watch it a few shows into the season, you might be a bit lost.  But thanks to the internet and forums, I'm sure there will be tons of sites where you can find recaps of the show.  From the reviews, "Vanished" promises to be a combination of "CSI", "24" and "The DaVinci Code" all rolled into one.  After watching the first episode, I didn't see the show hinting at some centuries-old mystery a la "The DaVinci Code" but we did find out that the Senator's wife had quite a few secrets, and we were introduced to a few suspects. Stay tuned.  I'll let you know if/when they find the Senator's wife.  Fox can count on me being a faithful viewer as long as the show is on the air.

It's Only August

I stopped by a friend's house on Saturday afternoon before going to the Bats baseball game, and there on the kitchen table was something that caught my eye.  It was the sale papers from the previous Sunday's newspaper. In and of itself, that's not very surprising; at home, we keep the sale papers out all week long, mainly because we never get around to reading them in a timely manner.  But one of the sale papers for a local drugstore caught me by surprise.  There on the front page of the circular was an ad for Halloween decorations.  Yes, Halloween decorations.  They didn't show ads for any costumes yet, but they had pictures of pumpkins and big bags of Halloween candy.  It's only mid-August, for goodness sake.   At least they could have waited until after Labor Day to advertise that stuff.  After all - Labor Day is the unofficial end of summer. We all know it's the deadline for wearing white. 

On the upside to this, the stores will need to clear some aisles for the Halloween costumes and other Halloween stuff, so now would be the time to buy a new cooler or portable grill for next summer; I'm sure they're on sale right now.  And while you're at it, you can buy a big bag of Reese Cups and a plastic pumpkin.

Link Of The Week

I love a good joke, even if it is played on me sometimes and I fall for it.  Heck - I'm usually laughing harder than the person that played the joke on me.  Just ask my dear friend BC about the "System Of A Down" joke he played on me.  Anyhoo, I get a laugh when I know that I was able to make someone else laugh - that's what it's all about, right? 

I found a site that is guaranteed to get a laugh or two.  It's called The Daily Exclaimer.  You can go to http://www.dailyexclaimer.com and enter the name of someone and the site will make up a fake newspaper story about them.  It's hilarious.  Go check it out.  And have the site make a story about Puddin if you want.  It's all in good fun.

New Product Review

Anyone that knows me knows that I don't cook.  I can, and when I do it's not that bad, but I just don't cook.  I'll be first to admit I'm spoiled, because I never really had to cook.  But every now and then, I'll get a wild hair and will cook something.   With the tomatoes being plentiful this week, I decided to make some salsa.  Actually, Mom decided to make salsa and she said I was going to learn.  Anybody can chop tomatoes and add a few ingredients and make salsa, but we did it the easy way - we used Mrs. Wages salsa mix.  Just add tomatoes and and a pack of the mix and you're good to go.

Mrs. Wages isn't really a new product, but not many people have heard of it so I thought I'd introduce you, my faithful readers, to the wonderful world of Mrs. Wages.  First of all, the mixes aren't real easy to find in the grocery stores.  You'll usually find them in the aisle where the canning jars and lids are.  In addition to salsa mix, they also have a couple of different pickle mixes and spaghetti and tomato sauce mixes as well.   I've only used the salsa mix so I can't speak for the others, but I do know that Mrs. Wages salsa mix rocks.  It's easy to make salsa using this mix - it has to be for me to be able to do it and not ruin the batch.  You just take 6 pounds of tomatoes and put them in boiling water for 3 minutes, and then put the tomatoes in a bowl of ice water to shock them - this will make peeling them a breeze.  Then all you do is chop up the tomatoes, measure out ten cups worth and add a half a cup of vinegar and the package of Mrs. Wages mix.  You let it come to a boil and then let it simmer for only ten minutes and then you're ready to either freeze it or can it in jars.  We opted for the old school canning. 

I've made salsa using recommended recipes, but none of the batches turned out as good as the salsa using Mrs. Wages.  There's no guessing at all, making sure you got the right amount of ground cumin or coriander-- all of the spices and seasonings are in the mix for you.  Get some tomatoes from the garden and go pick up a pack of Mrs. Wages salsa mix and make a batch of homemade salsa.  You'll thank me later on this winter when you're able to open a jar of salsa instead of having to get a jar from the store. 

Mrs. Wages salsa mix most definitely gets the TWIT Seal of Approval.

I'm Glad I Don't Like Dark Chocolate

As of tonight, this item hasn't made it to eBay.  Yet.  Workers at a Bodega Chocolates, gourmet chocolate company in southern California have discovered under a 2-inch-tall column of chocolate drippings that they believe bears a striking resemblance to the Virgin Mary.  A worker came into the factory Monday morning, and started to clean the chocolate drippings and discovered the blog of chocolate drippings.  Since the discovery Monday, employees have spent much of their time hovering over the tiny figure, praying and placing rose petals and candles around it.  I hope they don't get their candles too close to the chocolate, or else it will melt.

I did some research about chocolate factories, and discovered something very interesting: chocolate drippings usually harden in thin, flat strips, most often on wax paper.But Cruz Jacinto the employee that found the iconic chocolate said she froze when she noticed the unusual shape of this drippage:  it looked just like the Virgin Mary on the prayer card she always carries in her right pocket.

I looked at the above picture for about 10 minutes and just couldn't see the Virgin Mary in it.  But as I've been typing this journal entry, I can see it clearly now.  To me, the picture isn't as clear as it was on the grilled cheese or the cinnamon bun, but I can see a woman in the chocolate drippings.

 

File Under: WTF?

School has been in session here in Jefferson county for a couple of days, and reports have been trickling in from co-workers and friends about their kids' first days at school.  Other than a lost lunch box, there hasn't been any drama going with parents and kids I spoke with this week.   I was talking with a co-worker and faithful reader this morning about her son's first week in all-day kindegarten, and she told me a couple of things that kinda bothered me. 

She said that they no longer have "milk break" - they now call it "snack break." I'm not sure if the ACLU thought "milk break" was politically incorrect or what.  She said that the teacher sent detailed instructions on what the parents can and cannot send for snack time.  First of all, the snack has to be in a brown paper bag with the kid's name on it.  Second, the kids can't buy milk or juice or extra items from the cafeteria for their snack; the parent has to pack the snack in addition to packing the kid's lunch if they don't want to eat high-priced cafeteria food.  As for their snack drink, the kids can only drink milk or 100% fruit juice - no Kool-Aid, nor even a drink with "10% fruit juice," or heaven forbid, a soft drink.  Keep in mind the kids have to bring their drink for snack break.  It's sad to know that these kids will never know the thrill that we got in elementary school when we were the lucky ones chosen to walk down to the cafeteria at 1:30 every day and lug back the plactic milk crate full of the little pyramid-shaped cartons of milk.  If it was your week to be the milk carrier, you were the envy of the classroom. 

The snacks themselves have to be "healthy" - meaning no sweets.  Yes, you heard it right - no cookies, no candy, no cakes.  This means no Little Debbies and no Hostess Ho Ho's, either.  I ask you - what is a snack break without Little Debbie?  You might as well just give me a cup of luke-warm tap water and a piece of bread.  Apparently, the teachers are pretty strict with the snack guidelines. On the first day of school, my friend sent a little bag of miniature Cheez-Its with her son. That night, her son informed her that he couldn't bring them any more.  Little did my friend know she had unknowingly sent contriband with her son.  Her son could have probably taken a knife to school and gotten in less trouble.

Thanks, Rockford Manor

I normally don't talk doom and gloom, but I have to say that I've had a crappy week.  It started last Friday when I had to pay $$$ to get my Blazer fixed.  No, that wasn't a typo - I didn't mean to use "Blazer" instead of "BMW" - it was in deed my trusty SUV that needed new front brakes and some intense repairs to fix an oil leak.  I know - it's still hard for me to believe that it wasn't the BMW that needed to be fixed.  Anyhoo, I was bummed out all weekend and the first part of this week because I had to peel some major C-notes; C-notes that had originally been earmarked for a ticket to the Rolling Stones concert.  

For the past few days, family and friends made comments to me, like "Is something wrong?" or "Why are you so quiet?"  So here I was this evening, still moping around and bummed over the money spent on the Blazer.  But that all changed when Mom and I made our monthly visit with the Ladies Auxiliary members to the nursing home.  I always look forward to going to the nursing home because it always lifts me up and makes me realize that my so-called problems don't amount to a hill of beans.  This visit was no exception.  This visit, I helped out Netta, Angie and Janice play bingo, and they don't know it but they were the ones that helped. 

Everyone had a great time at Rockford Manor tonight - especially me. 

Can You Help Me Out, NASA?

NASA Can't Find Original Space Tapes
Recordings Include Coverage of First Moon Landing

WASHINGTON (Aug. 15) - The U.S. government has misplaced the original recording of the first moon landing, including astronaut Neil Armstrong's famous "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," a NASA spokesman said on Monday.
  
Armstrong's famous space walk, seen by millions of viewers on July 20, 1969, is among transmissions that NASA has failed to turn up in a year of searching, spokesman Grey Hautaloma said.

"We haven't seen them for quite a while. We've been looking for over a year and they haven't turned up," Hautaloma said.

The tapes also contain data about the health of the astronauts and the condition of the spacecraft. In all, some 700 boxes of transmissions from the Apollo lunar missions are missing, he said.

"I wouldn't say we're worried -- we've got all the data. Everything on the tapes we have in one form or another," Hautaloma said.

NASA has retained copies of the television broadcasts and offers several clips on its Web site.  But those images are of lower quality than the originals stored on the missing magnetic tapes.

Because NASA's equipment was not compatible with TV technology of the day, the original transmissions had to be displayed on a monitor and re-shot by a TV camera for broadcast.

Hautaloma said it is possible the tapes will be unplayable even if they are found, because they have degraded significantly over the years -- a problem common to magnetic tape and other types of recordable media.

The material was held by the National Archives but returned to NASA sometime in the late 1970s, he said.

"We're looking for paperwork to see where they last were," he said.

Maybe if NASA can find those tapes, I could get them to help me out.  My computer at work crashed yesterday afternoon, and as of now, I lost everything that was on the hard drive.  Maybe after NASA finds the missing tapes, they could help recover the files on my hard drive.  I'm sure they could spare an hour or two to help me out. 

The article said they've been looking for over a year and the tapes haven't turned up.  I'd be willing to bet if they haven't turned up now, they're not going to.  That's just another one of Murphey's Laws.  And we all know that as soon as NASA recreates the tapes and has them safely stored, they'll find the missing ones.  That's a given.

Big Cup Monday

A few years ago, our company became environmentally friendly, and started buying paper coffee cups instead of traditional styrofoam coffee cups. I'm sure they cost more than the styrofoam cups, too.  But they were too thin and burned your hands whenever you got a cup of coffee or any other hot liquid.  I'm glad that we don't have carpet in the halls at work - there would be coffee stains everywhere from where people would walk out of the lunchroom carrying a paper cup of coffee, only to have it burn their hands after they only took about ten steps and then end up spilling some of the coffee on the floor.  It was a bad scene. With talk of bacteria in the office place, people put up with burned hands and fingers and continued to use throwaway cups instead of risking their life by using a coffee mug that they keep on their desk.

We all got a big surprise this morning when went into the lunchroom. There on the counter by the coffee maker was stacks of big styrofoam cups.  Not the usual 6 or 8 ounce regular-sized coffee cups - these were 16 ounce cups.  Hallalujah.  We didn't get too excited at first - we thought that maybe our vendor brought us the wrong cups by mistake.  But then word came trickling through the ZCO grapevine that the cups were ordered for us.  What a great day this turned out to be! There was a steady stream of people going into the lunchroom all day long getting coffee or some other drink in the big styrofoam cups.  Even people that normally didn't drink coffee in the company-provided disposable cups drank coffee today in the big styrofoam cups. 

There is one down side to this, however.  When people are getting their coffee in the big cups today (and I am including myself in this observation) I noticed they were filling the cup about two-thirds of the way full.  So they (or should I say "we") were drinking more coffee than we normally would.  I heard one co-worker say that he had a major coffee buzz going on.  I just hope the big cups won't be keeping us awake at night.

Link Of The Week

Anyone that knows me, knows that I try to be hip - for a forty-something, I think I'm in the upper percentile. I use a few hip-hop terms in normal everyday conversation, but only ones that I know other people know; like bling bling, for example.  Since I strive to be hip, friends and co-workers often come to me when they need a definition of a hip-hop term.  When they do, if I don't know the word, I will research and find the definition for them.  And when I do, I go to the Urban Dictionary.  If you need to find the definition of any hip-hop, gangsta or teenage term, just check out http://www.urbandictionary.com and they'll have it on there.  And for the record, I'm sure my faithful readers will think TWIT is dope.

The Second Saturday In August

It's hard to believe this is the second Saturday in August already.  For those that live here in the 'Ville, that can mean only one thing: St. Joseph's picnic.  It's become a summer staple for the city for over a century and a half.  Yes, that's right - this year is St. Joseph's 156th annual picnic.  It's a family tradition.  My grandparents went to the picnic; my parents, aunts and uncles went to the picnic; and now I go. 

The picnic is the main fundraiser for St. Joseph's orphanage. The story behind St. Joseph's is an interesting piece of Louisville history.  In the 1830's, a great cholera epidemic hit Louisville, and a large number of adults died as a result, leaving behind a large number of orphaned children.  A group of German Catholics saw the need to help these orphans and they formed the St. Joseph Orphan Society in 1849.  One year later,  the first picnic was held to raise funds for the children's home. The rest is history. 

There's over 60 booths offering games of chance - you can win anything from a fern to candy to NASCAR things.  They even have a booth where for only a nickel, you could win a box of Little Debbie cakes.  The 'rents and I were there today for a couple of hours right after the picnic opened, and believe me when I tell you that even early in the day like that, you could not get close to the Little Debbie booth because it was so crowded.  That's what I like to see at a picnic. 

The main reason Dad wanted to go was to take notes and observe and get some ideas on things for the VFW picnic next year.  People probably thought we were reporters - walking around taking pictures and jotting down extensive notes in my little black notebook.  We came up with some great ideas and suggestions, and we're already in the early planning stages on building a new game booth for the VFW picnic - the ever popular Frog Catapult game.  I'll keep you posted on our progress.  At least we have about a year to work on it.

Naked Lady Update

I'm very happy to report that our Naked Ladies are finally coming up.  Mom spotted them this morning as she was coming back from getting the newspaper.  The rain from the past two days must have given them the boost that they needed.  They're about three inches tall, and by my calculations, they should be in full bloom by Monday.  You can bet I'll post pictures of our prized Naked Ladies in full bloom.  And Miss Rosemary's Naked Ladies should be in full bloom by Monday as well. What a glorious time it will be at The Compound with the Naked Ladies in bloom. 

Carry On

Unless you had no contact with the outside world today through TV, radio, the internet, or word of mouth, everyone is well aware of the terrorist plot that was foiled early this morning across the pond in the UK.  One of the first images I saw when I turned on to the news this morning was video footage of airline passengers griping because they couldn't take a bottle of hair gel or saline solution in their carry-on bag.  In fact, as time went on, they weren't allowed to even take a carry-on bag.  Well boo-hoo.  I would think the passengers flying today would be happy to turn over a bottle of sunscreen or perfume to make sure they reach their destination in one piece.  Personally speaking,  I would gladly toss a new bottle of Obsession cologne into the bin if it meant I would make it safely home. 

I don't mean to lessen the fact that a wide scale terrorist plot was thwarted today (I never thought I would ever be able to use the word "thwarted" in my blog) but I'm a firm believer that something good comes out of something bad, and the same is with the drama today.  I'll be the first to say that I hope the airlines will keep the ban on carry-on luggage forever.  This has been one of my pet peeves since I started flying back in the early 80's.  I never was one to have a huge carry-on bag.  Going to my destination, I only carried my purse.  Coming back home, I only had a carry-on bag if I had souvenirs that I couldn't cram into my suitcase.  In the last ten times I've travelled, I can only think of one time I actually put a carry-on bag in the overhead bin when I was travelling.  I know how inconvenient it is for the passengers that don't have carry-on luggage, so I tried my best to not be one of "them."  There's nothing worse than dealing with this on a full plane.  On my trip back to Louisville from Las Vegas last month, I had to get up from my seat 4 times during the flight so the guy sitting next to me could get out in the aisle and rummage through his carry-on bag stored in the overhead bin.  If I could, I would have yanked him up and crammed in the bin with his bag. 

Nobody even pays any attention to the metal frame that is by the desk in the terminal.  You know what I'm talking about - it's a frame that and a sign that says "all carry-on baggage must fit into this frame."  Maybe now they'll start paying attention. 

I'm sorry for the probably millions of people that were inconvenienced today by having to throw away things in their carry-on bags, and I'm sorry they had to wait hours and hours to reach their destination.  But thank the good Lord there were no casualties today from the terrorist plot.  Everyone that works in the airports around the world deserve major props for all they did today.  Thank for keeping everybody safe.

Extra Credit?

I've been keeping track for the past month of the junk mail I've been getting.  In just four weeks time, I've received 16 offers for a Mastercard or Visa, each saying I've been preapproved.  That's just not right.  I've received offers for gold, silver, platinum an diamond Mastercards or Visas.  I've received offers for the cards where I could pick out just about any design or picture I want to have on the card, including a photo of me for added security.  The only one I was tempted to get was a Tennessee Titans Visa, but that's beside the point.  The point is that we're being bombarded with offers for credit cards every time we turn around.  The annoying mail has got to stop. 

In the latest credit card offer I received today, I actually took a minute to read the offer, and in doing so, I found the coolest thing I would like to share with you, my faithful readers.  You can call 1-888-567-8688 and stop receiving pre-approved and pre-secreened credit card offers.  This is the best thing to come along since we could call the toll-free number and stop the pesky telemarketers from calling us.  So give this number a call today.  I just did.

Where Are The Naked Ladies?

Has anyone seen the naked ladies out in our 'hood?  I've seen them in the neighborhoods close to work, and I've seen them in yards downtown, but I've only seen a few of them in my 'hood.  I can't imagine what could have happened to cause them to bloom normally in other parts of the city, and to not bloom at all in our neighborhood.  It makes no sense at all. 

Three weeks ago, they bloomed at the house across the street. And last week, they were out in full force along just about every fence row in Jefferson county.  I just don't know what's caused them to not  bloom in our 'hood right now.  If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

VFW Picnic Report

You'll be glad to know that the 'rents and I survived our first VFW picnic.  It was a long, hot day, but we made it through.  We had a great canopy set up, so we weren't picking up the corn bags, were in shade most of the day.  In case you forgot, we were in charge of the corn toss booth.  For the low, low price of only fifty cents, the players got four chances to get one bag in. Even if they didn't get one in and win a big prize, everybody that played got either an always-popular candy necklace or a temporary tattoo.  I overheard a few comments from people, saying that our booth had very cool prizes.  I have to agree.  There's not much cooler than an inflatible electric guitar.

We had karaoke all afternoon and into the early evening.  By the time karaoke started, I was already tired - from the vegetable peeling the night before and running around that day getting the booth ready, so I wasn't really in a mood to perform.  But it didn't take too much coaxing from my fellow Ladies Auxiliary and VFW members to get me up behind the microphone for a rousing version of Reba's "Fancy."  I've sang for more people at church and when I had my band, but I will say that this was the biggest crowd I've sang for doing karaoke. 

Not just because it was our picnic, but we had some of the best picnic food I've tasted.  The brats were juicy and cooked to perfection; they were so good that we had one for lunch and another one later at night after we had taken the booth down and turned in our money.  We also had a great fried chicken dinner.  I couldn't eat the summer salad, though, no matter how good people said it was.  It was giving me flashbacks to the night before. 

The approximate net profit for our picnic was $6200.  It's amazing what a small group of people can accomplish when we all work together.  I'd like to thank those of you who helped make our picnic a success - thanks for buying the raffle tickets; thanks for making signs for our booths; and thanks for taking time our of your Saturday to come and visit the picnic. 

PS: I found my Harley Davidson shirt about five minutes after I posted the journal entry Saturday morning.  Thanks to whoever was sending me the good karma.  It worked.

Link Of The Week

I was researching online the other day, trying to get some information about an online course I want to take, and stumbled across a very interesting and helpful site.  It's called MyPlan.com.  It's the place to go to get information about careers, job hunting/changing and choosing colleges and majors. MyPlan says it best: 

"MyPlan.com helps students and professionals plan more fulfilling lives by making well-informed decisions about their education and careers. Whether you’re deciding on what college to go to, choosing a major, planning ahead for your first career, or thinking about making a career change, MyPlan.com can help you explore options and bring clarity and insight into figuring out what’s right for you. 100% independent and unbiased, MyPlan.com gives you the truth about colleges, careers and majors. Our research and data is the most comprehensive you’ll find anywhere on the subject. And, with dozens of easy-to-use tools, we’ve made getting to that information convenient, simple and fun." I couldn't have explained it better.  Visit http://www.myplan.com and see for yourself.  After I came across the site, I spent about an hour there researching.  And one of the best things about the site is that it's free.  They do charge for some of the assessment tests, though, but hey - most of the career assessment tests out there aren't free any way.

 

Stressing On Picnic Day

VFW Picnic Day is finally here.  Dad, Steve and a host of others left at about 8:00 this morning to go set up the booths.  Mom and I will be going over shortly to join them.  That is, if I can find the t-shirt I was going to wear today. 

I had my mind set on wearing  a very cool gray San Francisco Harley Davidson t-shirt  today.  It's worn, and very comfortable, and it will go with any pair of shorts I grab and throw on.  I've been looking for the shirt for a half an hour and still can't find it, and I'm starting to stress out. For some bizarre reason in my head, no other shirt will do today.  I've never thought of myself as being OCD, nor has anyone told me I was OCD, but I think I might have just a touch of it today. 

I'm going to go look some more for the shirt.  If the computer at the VFW post has internet access, I'll get online later today and let you know if I found it.  Wish me luck.

Picnic Eve

It's Friday evening August 4, and that can mean only one thing: it's VFW picnic eve.  Tomorrow is the day we've been we've been anticipating for months.  Well, maybe not months, but for a few weeks any way.  The 'rents have baked four cakes for the cake wheel booth, and we've been up at the post almost every night for the past week, cleaning and getting things ready for tomorrow.  We even spent the evening up there tonight helping out our friend and fellow post member Chef Carl get ready for the fried chicken dinner being served tomorrow.  Yes, I spent my Friday evening cutting, slicing, and chopping. And I came home with all eight fingers and two thumbs. We peeled what felt like two bushels of cucumbers for the picnic staple Summer Salad.  In addition to the cucumbers, we peeled onions, and chopped green peppers and tomatoes.  And I'm proud to say there were no casualties in the kitchen with all of the knives being used.  We were even serenaded by the folks in the canteen area gathered for Friday night karaoke.  We all left there tired, but we commented on how we laughed and had a fun time while we were cutting and chopping. 

The 'rents and I have everything lined up for our booth, the corn toss game.  The corn toss game will be an  inaugural event at the Mill Creek VFW picnic, and I'm happy to say that the 'rents and I thought it up.  We even got to pick out the prizes for our booth - we're having very cool felt Cat-In-The-Hat type hats, inflatible electric guitars, giant inflatible crayons and glow-in-the-dark necklaces.  I bet you wish you could be to win a prize.  Come on over - you get four corn bags for fifty cents, and one in wins.

Heat Rage Rears Its Ugly Head

Yesterday morning on "Good Morning, America", Diane Sawyer was telling about how this heat wave has made people madder and more short-tempered.  She went on to tell how this is statistically proven; there are more violent crimes committed in the summer time, especially when it is unusually hot. I agree with that totally.  I know this from firsthand experience.  I've got a confession to make.  Yesterday evening, I exhibited what the news people call "heat rage."  I'm not proud of it, but at the same time, I'm not reall ashamed of it, either.

En route from work to the Mexican joint, I stopped at Bojangles Chicken to pick up chicken and their awesome Dirty Rice for Mom.  I went in and stepped right up to the counter.  I noticed there was only one cash register open, but I was the only person at the counter, so it didn't bother me.  Just as I was getting ready to give my order, a woman stepped up and cut right in front of me.  She didn't even say excuse me or anything.  She gave her order, and ended up changing it a half dozen times by adding something or taking something off.  The clerk rang her up and told her it would be $22.61.  She handed the clerk her debit card. As I saw it transfer from her hand to the PAT behind the counter, I had a bad vibe.  Sure enough, a few seconds later, the PAT told the lady that the card had been declined.   This ignited a string of expletives that would have made a biker blush.  The women began arguing with her sister over the bank, and she said repeatedly how she "deposited those checks in there three days ago" but her sister kept on saying "You just need to leave that bank.  You know how they do this to you all the time."   While this was going on, I was still at the counter, waiting to give my order for one chicken breast and a small order of Dirty Rice.  This went on for eight minutes (I timed it on my watch).  I finally asked the PAT "Can someone take my order?  I have cash." The PAT and his co-workers explained how they couldn't start another order on the cash register until the woman's order was processed.  Just as I was asking them to get the manager to open another cash register, the woman cut back in front of me in line and handed the PAT a hundred dollar bill.  Yep, she had a Ben Frank. Her mother, who had been sitting at the table with the woman's two kids, had been holding on her apparently.  Anyhoo, the mother gave the woman a hundred, and then yelled up at the counter for the woman to "be sure and get me a receipt for that."  I'm sure that woman will be paying back the entire $22.61, and probably interest.

File Under: WTF?

The temperatures have been in the 90s for the past few weeks now, but hey - it's summer - it's supposed to be hot.  Yes, I know that the entire country is in a massive heat wave, with no relief in site until probably November or December when we have our first frost.  But once again, it's summer, and we have to expect that.  Every night on the local and national TV news, we hear the reporters and the weatherazzi tell us viewers to be sure and drink water when it's hot.  WTF?  Are people that silly today that they don't know to drink water when it's hot?  I bet those same people have to be told to come in from outside when it's raining, or to get off of the telephone when it's storming with lightning so they don't get zapped.  It just doesn't make sense to me.  Thirst, along with hunger, are two innate urges that we have.  Someone is just too far gone when they have to rely on the weatherazzi and news reporters to tell them to drink water when it's hot.  I just don't know what else I can say.

Thank You, Faithful Readers

I'd like to publicly thank each and every one of you, my faithful readers, that emailed me or called yesterday to wish me a happy anniversary.  Yesterday, July 31, was the second anniversary of the first post on TWIT.  It seems just like yesterday that I was typing my first journal entry in TWIT.  It doesn't seem like it was two years ago.  Time sure flies when you're having fun blogging. 

We've been through alot in the past two years - the highs, the lows, the funny, the sarcastic, and especially the dramatic - and I thank you all for going through it with me.  I'm still amazed that people will actually take time out of their busy lives to spend a few minutes each and every day reading TWIT.  When I started TWIT, I started it just for a creative outlet.  I never imagined I would win awards from AOL for my journal, nor did I ever think that people would read my journal faithfully. 

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.  Here's to another great year of TWIT.

Have You Tried eBay, Cher?

I guess retirement isn't all it's cracked up to be for Cher.  I read today that in October, Cher will be auctioning off over 700 personal items from her Malibu home.  I don't know if she needs the money or if she just wants to get rid of some things around the house.  She had her farewell tour earlier this year, and she's only been officially retired a few months, so hopefully she hasn't already gone through all of her retirement fund.  Maybe she has too much pride to ask her kids Chastity and Elijah for help.

The sale includes furniture, artwork, jewelry, a 2003 H2 Hummer and original costumes by Bob Mackie.  Up on the auction block are a brass bed, circa 1865; 200 pieces from her wardrobe and costume collection, including outfits she wore on "The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour" and an original Bob Mackie-designed gown she wore to the Academy Awards.

I'd love to be able to bid on some of these items, but I think her auction at Sotheby's is a bit out of my league.  If I had the cash, the one item I would bid on would be the Indian costume (complete with headdress) that Cher wore on TV when she sang "Halfbreed" as she sat on a white and brown pinto horse.  If that outfit is on the auction block, I'll be auctioning off some of my personal items so I can afford it.