New Product Review

I was in my local grocery store yesterday morning before work, and needed a little something sweet to go with the microwave pizza that I bought for lunch.  On my way to the checkout lane, I spotted a huge display of different Reese's Cups.  I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.  In case you hadn't picked up on it from reading previous posts in TWIT, Reese's Cups are my favorite candy bar.  Yes, it's not really a candy bar, but you know what I mean.  I looked at the display and saw a new type that I'd hadn't tried, so I picked up two packs of the Double Chocolate Reese's Cups.  I had to get one for my friend and faithful reader TaffiLynn.  She likes them as much as I do.  We tried them, and we have to say that officially, we don't care much for them.  When the package said "Double Chocolate", I was expecting to have double chocolate on the shell.  Imagine my surprise when I bit into one of the Reese's Cups and discovered chocolate was mixed in with the peanut butter.  It reminded me of the old school Reese's Cup commercials; you know what I'm talking about - "You got your peanut butter in my chocolate."  "No, YOU got your chocolate in MY peanut butter." 

TaffiLynn and I discussed the Double Chocolate Reese's Cups at great length, and we think they just don't live up to our high Reese Cup standards.  They didn't make us sick or anything, but we just prefer the regular ol' Reese Cups.  And at this time of the year, we really prefer the Reese's Eggs.  So if you are at the store and are considering buying the Reese's Double Chocolate, don't waste your money.  Buy the eggs instead.  TWIT does not give its seal of approval to the Double Chocolate.

Overused Phrases Heard During The NCAA Basketball Tournament

The Dance
The Big Dance
The Last Dance
March Madness
Road To The Final Four
Sweet Sixteen
Elite Eight
Final Four
Cinderella
Bracket
Sleeper
RPI
Mid-Major Conference
Selection Sunday
Parity
Bracket Buster
Bubble Team
On The Bubble
At-Large Bid
Bracketology
Tourny

Don't Look Or You'll Go Blind

In case you didn't know (or maybe you didn't care) there was a total solar eclipse today.  The total eclipse could be seen along a path from Brazil to Mongolia, and a partial eclipse was visible in parts of Africa, Asia and Europe.  For those of us on this side of the pond, we were out of luck because we couldn't see anything.

Today's eclipse blocked out the sun in highly populated areas, including West Africa where governments scrambled to educate people about the total eclipse and the dangers of looking at it without proper eye protection.  Some countries declared it a national holiday and urged people to stay home and stay indoors.  In remote parts of the world where the eclipse could be seen, I'm sure there were a lot of freaked out people who didn't know what in the hell was going on.  On the moring new, they mentioned how riots and even wars have broken out because one side thought the other side was responsible for the darkness.  I can totally see this happening in a village where the natives thought their rival tribe caused the sun to go away.

There's some interesting superstitions about the eclipse.  Some say that food cooked before an eclipse should be thrown out because it was considered impure.  I say you should only throw the food out if the cook had looked at the eclipse without proper eye protection and might have had questionable vision while cooking the food.  So-called medical experts advised pregnant women not to go outside during an eclipse to avoide their baby beign born with a cleft lip.  I really don't think that a total eclipse would cause a little baby to have to undergo plastic surgery on a lip.  I really, really don't. 

Another superstition says that if you're holding a knife or an ax during an eclipse you'll cut yourself.  I can see this happening, too.  If someone is stupid enough to be holding a knife or an ax while they're looking at an eclipse and get blinded and cut theirself then they deserve what they get.  As for me, I'll continue to view the eclipses (or is it eclipsi?) with the corny but effective cardboard piece. I'm not taking any chances.

Why Do We Say That?

I'd like to introduce a new recurring feature in TWIT.  It's called "Why Do We Say That?"  Periodically, we'll discuss why we say certain things.  For example, why do we tell someone who's getting ready to perform "Break a leg"?  You'd think that would be the last thing you would wish somebody getting ready to go on stage and sing or dance or act.  You get the idea. 

By the way, I did some research and found a fairly reasonable explanation on the origin of "break a leg." The phrase dates back to the early days of theater, where there were actually wooden structures on the front of the stage called "legs."  If the show went well and was well received, an audience member would celebrate by grabbing one of these "legs" and breaking it.  When I enjoy a theatrical performance, I always make a point of destroying part of the stage on my way out of the theater.  Just kidding.

My co-worker, cubicle co-inhabitant and frequent guest writer in TWIT, Greg, is on vacation this week.  Friday after work he packed up the car and his family and hit the road for his parents' home in Missouri.  Before he left Friday afternoon, we all told him "have a safe trip."  Like we would tell him to have an unsafe, accident-filled trip?  I'd like to think we wouldn't even wish that on our worst enemy.  The same goes for another much used phrase "have a great time."   I guess it's quicker to say than "I hope the kids don't get on your nerves during the 9 hour drive to your folks and I hope you don't get a speeding ticket or have an accident."

I'll admit there's been times when I've wanted to tell someone I don't like "have a crappy time" when they're going on vacation.  But I bite my tongue instead.  We've all had times when someone who got on our nerves goes on vacation and we'd really like to tell them "Good riddance" or we want to break out singing "There will be peace in the valley" while they're gone.  But yet again, we bite our tongues because it just isn't fittin'.  To sum it up, I guess we say "have a safe trip" out of courtesy and decency. And because we don't want to appear like a total asshole.

Farewell, Buck Owens

I am very sad to report that country music legend Buck Owens has died.  Owens passed away at his home in Bakersfield, California Saturday morning.  The 76 year-old Owens died from heart failure.  Owens had undergone surgery for throat cancer in 1993, and after recovering he went right back to performing.

During the peak of his career, Buck Owens had a string of more than 20 number one hit records, most released from the mid-1960's to the mid-1970's.  They were recorded with a honky-tonk twang that came to be known as the "Bakersfield Sound," named for the town 100 miles north of Los Angeles that Owens called home.  Among his hits were "Act Naturally", a song recorded by The Beatles, "Love's Gonna Live Here" and "I've Got A Tiger By The Tail." One of his biggest hits, and one of my favorite country songs of all time, was "Together Again," a song Owens wrote.  Emmylou Harris' version also went to number one. 

In addition to his songwriting and recording, Buck Owens is probably most well known for his stint as co-host of "Hee Haw."  Owens co-hosted from the show's start in 1969 to 1986. He helped make "Hee Haw" the longest running syndicated television show in the history of television.  He attributed the show's popularity to the fact that it was an "honest show."  He said "There's no social message - it's fun and simple."  I thought the coolest part of the show was when Buck would sing and play his red, white and blue guitar. 

The first record album that I remember ever playing was one of Dad's Buck Owens records.  Dad had three and I think I wore them all out, playing them over and over on my green and white plastic portable record player.  When we got a cool 8-track recorder, we made copies of those three albums so we would have a back-up in case I did wear them out.  I remember playing the record and singing along to "Love's Gonna Live Hear" while trying to have a twang in my voice like Buck.  It never quite happened, but I got a kick out of singing along with the record. 

When he was inducted into the Country Music Hall Of Fame in 1996, Buck Owens said "I'd like to be remembered as a guy that came along and did his music, did his best and showed up on time, clean and ready to do the job, wrote a few songs and had a hell of a time." That you did, Buck; that you did.

Link Of The Week

Text messaging is the current craze. You see people typing in messages with their thumbs everywhere - in line at the grocery store, at the bank, at work, and unfortunately in their cars while they're driving.  But text messages don't come without a price - cell phone companies charge from a few cents to a even a quarter to send a text message.  If you want to get in on the craze, but don't want to pay for a text message nor don't want to take ten minutes to thumb type two sentences, here's the perfect site for you.  Just go to http://www.textmessage.cc/ and enter in the cell phone number of the person you want to text, the subject you want to use and the message.  Just be warned that even though it's not costing you anything to send the message, the person receiving the message will be charged something - usually five or ten cents.  So don't go all crazy and text someone a dozen times in a row; but if you need to send a message to someone and don't want to take the time to type in with your thumb, just go to this site and send it.

Another Email Questionaire

1. What's your favorite dessert? Chocolate cake with chocolate icing (and a scoop of vanilla ice cream wouldn't be a bad accompaniment, either)

2. Have you ever had a professional massage? Nope.  Never really wanted one. I don't think I could be still long enough to get a massage, unless they sedated me.

3. Turtlenecks: love 'em or help, I'm being strangled? I've hated them ever since I was a kid.  My mom said it was like putting a turtleneck on an octopus. I still can't stand anything on my neck.

4. How many pillows are on your bed? Two. I can't sleep with just one.

5. What word best describes your smile?  Happy.

6. Do you see yourself moving to another city or state within the next 5 years? Nope.  I plan on staying put.

7. What kind of calendar do you use most? My Elvis calendar hanging on my cube wall at work.

8. Do you look at the keyboard when you type?  Never, thanks to Miss Schmitz who taught me how to type

9. What's your favorite joke? The penguin eating an ice cream cone.  Call me some time and I'll tell it to you.

10. What would be your ideal 2-week vacation? In Las Vegas with a huge supply of money.

Mobile Meth Lab Week

Police Find Mobile Meth Lab During Routine Traffic Stop

(LOUISVILLE) -- Police arrested a 25-year-old woman late Monday after they discovered a mobile meth lab inside the car she was driving during a routine traffic stop in the parking lot of the Dollar General Store at Blue Lick Road and South Park.

Jessica Stout now faces a long list of charges, including possession of meth and trafficking within 1,000 yards of a school.

The car turned out to be stolen.

When I think of a meth lab, I think of a lot of things - things that would fill up a basement or garage.  You just don't think of a meth lab being set up in someone's car.  I've heard about police finding mobile meth labs set up in U-Haul trailers being pulled down the road as the meth is cooking inside, but I've never heard of a meth lab in a car before.  That's a new one on me. 

It was interesting that they found the meth lab at a traffic stop at the Dollar General Store parking lot.  I think it has something to do with the store.  About two years ago, I was at our 'hood Dollar General Store, less than a mile from The Compound.  In front of me in the checkout line were two PATs.  Each of them was buying a dozen or so boxes of Sudafed. I kid you not.  Hand to heaven, they each had at least a dozen boxes of Sudafed.  This was back in the day when you didn't have to sign your life away just to buy a box of allery or sinus pills like we do today.  The clerk didn't even raise an eyebrow as she was checking them out.  Let me stop my story and explain in case you don't know where I'm going with this.  They use Sudafed and other allergy and sinus pills to make meth.  And I'm pretty sure that's what those two PATs were going to do with their two dozen boxes of Sudafed.

When it was my turn to check out, I asked the clerk "Aren't you going to get their license plate and call the police?" She looked at me like I had 3 heads.  She said "Why? They didn't shoplift or anything."  I asked her if she didn't think that one person buying a dozen boxes of Sudafed was a bit extreme, and she said "Maybe they're sick." Yes, and maybe you're stupid.  Anyhoo, when I got in my car to leave, the two PATs were still in their car in the parking lot, talking on a cell phone.  I wrote down their license plate and a description of the car and of the two PATs and I immediately called the police to report it.  I don't know what happened after that, but at least I did my part to take a bite out of crime.

In a related story, just yesterday evening, police arrested two more people who also had a mobile meth lab.  My dear friend and faithful reader TaffyLynn reported to me that she was picking up her kids at her mom's yesterday afternoon, and heard about this on her mom's police scanner as it was happening.  The arrest happened after a high-speed chase, and police found the meth lab in a big duffel bag.  The mobile meth labs are getting more and more compact, it seems.

Update Thursday

We're Glad You're Better, PJ
I would like to give  a big shout out to my dear friend and adopted mother PJ, and let her know how very glad I am that she's done so well on her recovery and recuperating.  PJ had heart surgery on my birthday back in January to repair two aneurysms, and she's been out of commission since then.  But she's followed the doctor's instructions to the letter, and is doing awesome.  I've sure missed getting my hugs from her.  When we last spoke a few days ago, she said she's planning on being at church this Sunday.  Don't rush things, PJ - if you feel tired and don't feel like getting out this Sunday, you just stay home and rest up some more.  I want you good and strong so I can get a big hug from you. 

We're Glad You're Doing Better, Too, Boots
I'd also like to give a big shout out to my dear friend and neighbor Boots.  He's had a rough time this winter and spring recuperating from the pneumonia he had back in January.  In fact, he was in the hospital the same time PJ was.  Since he came home, he's had some problems, and had to even get a biopsy a week ago.  We've been nervous wrecks since then, worrying about the results and doing sme heavy duty praying for him.  Our prayers were answered yesterday when the doctor said that the problems were from his arthritis medicine and were not cancer.  They've changed his meds, and just yesterday he felt good enough to go play pinochle at the VFW. 

Welcome, Baby Logan
TWIT would like to welcome baby Logan.  He arrived less than a week ago.  He's the grandson (and second grandchild) of the above mentioned PJ and her hubby Dr. J.  Logan is down in Houston, and I know that PJ and Dr. J will be heading down there as soon as PJ is a bit stronger and can handle the plane ride.  Our congratulations to Logan's grandparents and his proud parents, B and J.  I hope to have a picture of Logan to post soon. 

Hang In There, Gin
I'd like to tell my good friend Gin up in Springfield, IL to hang in there.  A week ago, they had tornados there in Springfield, and she's been busy at her lawn service doing yard cleanup from all of the limbs and such from the storms.  Well, this week, they had a blizzard in Springfield and on Monday they got over a foot of snow.  So this week her lawn service has been doing snow removal.  Lots of snow removal.  Hang in there, Gin - summer will be here before you know it and then you all will just have to deal with the heat and humidity as you all mow and mulch. 

Way To Go, T
Last but not least on my updates, I'd like to say way to go, T.  I doubt that you'll read this, but in case you do, you know what I'm talking about. 

Thoughts On V-Cast

I've had my new RazR cell phone for one day now, and have already lost it because it's so small.  At times like this that I think that I don't even need any electronic gadgets at all. Before you gasp for air, I found the phone.  It was in one of the dining room chairs at home.

I spent most of last night playing around with the phone and setting up my speed dial numbers.  I checked out all of the ringtones on the phone, and found a tolerable temporary one to use until I take the time to get "Movin' On Up" and "Brick House" downloaded again.  I got the Bluetooth wireless headset in sync with the phone, and spent a few minutes checking out V-Cast.  When I got the phone yesterday, the CSR said that I get a month of V-Cast free with the phone. After 30 days, it would be $15 a month to subscribe. (The girl also said that they would send me a text message the day before the free trial is over so I could call and cancel if I wanted.  Pretty cool, eh?)  So I thought "What the heck?" and decided to give it a try since I could watch the stuff for a month for free.  I'd been seeing commercials and ads for the cool things you can get through V-Cast - episodes of "Lost" and "Desperate Housewives" and tons of music videos.  I checked out the "Desperate Housewives" section first. I thought I would check out last week's episode since I missed it.  Imagine my surprise when I found out it would cost $3.99 to download it.  I did some more checking and an episode of "Lost" was the same price.  So if I were paying for V-Cast, let me recap for you:  it would have cost me $18.99 to watch an episode of "Desperate Housewives" on a very small (but also very clear and colorful) screen - something that I could watch for free on my big TV at home.  I don't think so.  I'd like to look at Verizon's income statement because I'm pretty sure this is where they are making their money.  It's no wonder they can give away $200 phones for free - they'll make that up with all of the monthly subscription fees to V-Cast. 

I did some more checking, determined to find the "over 300 things" you could watch for free on V-Cast (something that Carla the CSR told me yesterday) and the only thing half-way interesting was a small article in the TV Guide V-Cast section about Star Jones' recent breast reduction surgery.  If I were rich and didn't care, maybe I wouldn't hesitate to fork over the money to watch "Desperate Housewives" on my cool new cell phone, or maybe I would pay $1.99 to watch a Pussycat Dolls video.  But I'm not rich, and I won't pay $15 a month to read about Star Jones and her surgeries.  I'll just be content to use the phone to talk. 

I'm Proud Of Myself

So much for the first day of spring here in the Ohio Valley - we awoke this morning to temperatures in the upper 20's and snow and ice.  Just across the river in southern Indiana, schools were closed.  Crazy, just crazy.  The 'rents and I had originally planned a trip to the Glory Of Rome today, but with snow and ice over in that neck of the woods, we decided to go another day.  I was still in the mood to get rid of some money, so I headed out to get my new cell phone.  I called the Big Electronics Superstore in our 'hood, and got the nicest CSR I think I've ever dealt with.  When she said "This is Carla, how may I help you this afternoon?" I knew it was going to be a great experience.  Let me interject that my family and I have the world's worst luck when it comes to getting good customer service.  Friends and relatives will tell you that it's not that we're difficult people to deal with; on the contrary, we're easy to get along with.  It's just that we have terrible luck.  Back to the story.  I asked about the promotion for the Motorola Razr phone, and gave her my cell number and she quickly brought up my account and told me what a great deal I could get.  I told her to get a phone out and have it ready for me because I would be there in less than 10 minutes. 

I went in and found Carla, and she did in deed have the phone sitting out for me.  She brought up my account in the computer again, and started entering the information, and said "Wow, this is awesome."  I thought she might have received an email or instant message on the side and was talking about what it said; I had no idea she was talking about my deal.  She explained that since I hadn't gotten a new phone with them for 3 years, I was eligible for all of these great deals.  Let me sum it up by saying after I get the $50 rebate back, my phone and the accessories will be free.  Now that's what I call a deal.  While Carla was checking on this in her computer, a woman came up and asked if this was where she could make a payment on her Verizon phone.  Carla told her yes, and that she would get with her when she finished with me.  I knew it would be awhile, and I figured that the woman waiting probably was in no mood to wait for me to finish, so I told Carla to go ahead and process her payment, and that I wouldn't mind waiting.  Well, the woman was so thrilled - she patted me on the hand as she thanked me.  Carla got me all set up and activated, and as she ran to the back of the store to get my cool Bluetooth wireless ear piece, another woman came up and needed to get a Verizon phone card.  When Carla got back, she told the woman she would be with her in a few minutes.  I knew that it would be longer than a few minutes, since she was going to attempt to download my address book from my old phone to the new phone.  So once again, I told Carla to go ahead and wait on the woman.  This woman was also thrilled.  She said "That was so kind of you" and she smiled as she left.  So the reason I'm proud of myself is the fact that ordinarily, I would have stood my ground and been content to have a line of people waiting, and not cared a bit that they only needed to make a quick payment or buy a car charger or something.  But today it was different. I actually thought about how many times the opposite had happened to me - I ran into a store just to buy one item and had to end up waiting for 15 minutes while the CSR finished up with another customer.  Maybe those two women will go to work tomorrow and tell the people in their offices "You'll never guess what happened to me in the Big Electronics Superstore yesterday afternoon - a very kind woman told the CSR to help me while she waited."  I think my Mom would be proud of me, too.

Puddin's Spring Break

I'm very happy to announce that I am on spring break this week.  Well, not actually a week, but a couple of days.  I've taken off of work for two days, and am enjoying my mini-vacation.  Today, I spent the day with my ass on the couch watching movies all day long.  Yes, hard for those who know me to believe that one, but it's true; I watched movies from 9:30 until 5:30 with fellow Diva Stacy.  It was one sweet day, let me tell you.  The hardest decision facing us was as how we wanted our bologna sandwiches fixed.  We ended up eating them plain, so that took away a lot of guess work during out do-nothing day.

I do have one thing I would like to accomplish during my spring break.  I want to get a new cell phone, and I want your help, faithful readers.  I've been looking at the awesome Motorola RazR, but I'm just not sure; so I'd like your help. I'd like for you to email me or leave comments and let me know what cell phone you have, and what you think is great, and what you think sucks about it.  Ever the one to research, I plan on having my homework done before I go and make the purchase.  I'll be looking forward to hearing from you. 

Link Of The Week, Part 2

My dear friend and faithful reader Big Mama asked if I would post a special extra Link Of The Week in TWIT.  I was only happy to oblige.  I posted this over a year ago, but it bears repeating.  Please take the time to check this site out, and please put it in your favorites and visit it every day.  It's legitimate, and not a hoax.

Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle).

This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.

http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/

Link Of The Week

I'm sure there's a little bit of Stephen Spielburg in all of us - deep down, we've all wished that we could make a move at some time or other in our lives.  If not an epic saga, maybe you've wished you could just make a video, like we've seen thousands of times on MTV, VH1 or CMT.  Thanks to our friends at YouTube, now we can.  Go to http://www.youtube.com and in a few minutes you can be on your way to making your own video.   I experimented with a variety of pictures I had saved on the computer, and put together a slide show, complete with background music and intro and comment slides.  It's pretty darned cool. 

If any of you all try this and make a video, please email me at puddinprp@aol.com or leave comments here at TWIT -I'd love to check out your production.  Good luck.

A Peaceful Saturday

It was pretty wild in Louisville last night.  No, not because it was St. Patrick's Day and people were out last night partying and drinking green beer.  It was wild because we had a six-alarm fire in downtown Louisville. 

The fire was at 11th and Zane, in a huge three-story warehouse that covered over one block. Reports said that the warehouse contained cardboard boxes, so at least it was just cardboard burning and not chemicals or other things that could have cause the area to be evacuated.   I hesitate to use the term "impressive" to describe what we saw on the non-stop news coverage last night, but it's the only word that fits.  I've never seen any flames like that in any TV show or movie.  At one point, about an hour and a half after the fire started, the middle of the building caved in and you could see what appeared to be a tornado of fire coming up.  It was pretty wild to see on TV; I can't imagine what the firefighters felt.

I did learn something while watching the non-stop news coverage last night - I learned exactly what a six-alarm fire is.  The rising number of "alarms" given a fire refers to how much equipment is brought in. With each new level, three engines, two trucks and an assistant chief are added.  Firefighters from out in the suburbs left their areas and came into the city to cover for the firehouses, since every city firefighter was at this fire.  And the trusty PRP Fire Department went some of their firefighters out to the suburbs to cover their areas.  Thank goodness there were no other fire dramas last night, and there was only one minor injury to a firefighter at the warehouse fire. 

Another Interesting Night At The VFW

It was a very interesting night at the VFW bingo last night.  I think Tuesday's full moon carried over into Thursday.  Bigtime.  We knew we were in for a rough night when the bingo caller had to yell into the microphone so people could hear her over the roar of the crowd.  The players eventually quietened down and it was smoothe sailing until the Crochety Old Man started faking the hiccups, and then the drama started.

After the first five minutes of hearing him hiccup, you knew darned good and well he was faking it.  And after five minutes, the bingo players' patience wore pretty thin.  The people at the tables around him started yelling and cussing at him, but he just kept on hiccuping.  My dear friend Rosalee sitting next to me said "Maybe someone should scare him."  I turned around in my seat and said "He can look at my paycheck stub - that's sure to scare him.  Or if that isn't enough, he can look at my checkbook."  But even that didn't help.  The poor helpless woman calling bingo last night didn't know what to do - she just kept on calling out the numbers while people were going off on the Crochety Old Man.  People stared yelling "He's just faking it" and a woman sitting two seats down from him jumped up out of her seat, put her hand on her hip and loudly said "Damn right he is."  But the Crochety Old Man kept on faking the hiccups.  At this point, they didn't even sound like a good hiccup, either.  They sounded more like a squeak or yelp.

After what seemed like an eternity (but was actually about fifteen minutes) of the Crochety Old Man faking the hiccups, my friend Rosalee actually tossed her unopened bottle of water back to his table and hissed "Here - take a drink" and lo and behold, he took a drink of the water and the hiccups stopped.  It was truly a miracle  - a miracle on Lower Hunters Trace last night: the Crochety Old Man was healed of the hiccups by taking just one sip of water. It was truly a night I won't soon forget, no matter how hard I try.

You Know You've Hit The Bigtime

I stopped at our local super grocery store the other day on my way home from work.  I planned on buying a twelve-pack of soft drinks and a half-gallon of ice cream among other items, so I got a grocery cart so I wouldn't have to juggle everything.  I started to put my purse in the space where you would normally put your small child, and imagine my surprise when I saw a co-worker's parents' picture on that plastic plate that flips down.  The parents are realtors in this area of town, and there on the shopping cart was a pretty good sized advertisement for them.  As I made my way through the grocery store, I thought of other friends and aquaintances that are realtors, and to my knowledge, none of them advertise on grocery carts. 

I guess grocery carts are the hotbed on advertising these days.  Not only do they have an ad on the plastic plate that flips down, they have an even bigger space available on the end of the shopping cart.  Eventually, they'll have the grocery carts full of ads just like how they have all of the sponsors names on race cars. 

When I finished my shopping and checked out, I pushed my cart back to the cart corral, and I took a minute and looked at the different pictures and advertisements that were on the plastic flip pieces of the grocery carts.  I'd guess that 90% of the ads were for realtors.  There were no grocery cart ads for nail salons or tanning bed places, nor for restaurants or bars.  I did see a couple of grocery cart ads for insurance people, though.  But the majority were for realtors.  I don't know if advertising on grocery carts means you've really hit the bigtime, or if it means business is bad and you need to advertise wherever you can. 

Whenever, Wherever

I noticed something strange this weekend while watching an old episode of "Gunsmoke" with the 'rents.  (I guess that was redundant, wasn't it? All "Gunsmoke" episodes are old.)  In this episode, Miss Kitty was travelling somewhere in a stage coach, and an accident happens. The stagecoach crashes and  Miss Kitty is dazed and confused and starts walking out in the wild, evidently hoping she's heading toward Dodge City and the Longbranch saloon.  While wandering in the wilderness, Miss Kitty finds a wild girl.  The girl doesn't speak, and is wearing an animal skin dress and her long blonde hair is messy.  She takes care of Miss Kitty, and the pair go in search of help.  They wander around and come across a shack where a family pretends to befriend them, but instead wants to take the wild girl and sell her to a sideshow for $100.

I wish I had a picture from this episode, because the wild girl looked exactly like Shakira.  I sat and watched the rest of the episode, hoping the wild girl would start shaking and singing "Wherever, Whenever" like Shakira, but she didn't.  The closest she came was when she was kicking while the family was trying to tie her up.  Anyhoo.  I thought it was funny.  It's not every day that you see a Shakira look-alike on "Gunsmoke."

My New Quote

If the pay was right, I would travel with the carnival.

Career Booster Shot

Tonight was the last night of my "Career Booster Shot" class.  Overall, it was a very good class - I'm motivated and more confident, and I'm glad my pal SDF asked me to take the class with her.  It made me think about some things in my life and career that I normally would not have thought about.  Most of tonight's class was devoted to going over the results of the [long] career assessment test we took last week.  The results were a 20 page report about me and what types of jobs I would be best suited for.  The first half of the report was about my personality and my strong points, all based on my test results.  The last half of the report was a very detailed listing of jobs that I would be best suited for, also based on my test results. All in all, the results of the test weren't really a shock.  But I will say that one job that I had the highest score on was a job that I was passed over/turned down at work last fall -- corporate trainer.  When I read that in the report, I immediately nudged SDF and had her look at the paper while I was holding back the laughter.  Maybe I'll take my test into work tomorrow and show that to the guy that interviewed me for the corporate trainer position. 

The other career choices where I had high scores were interesting - a few were funny.  One amusing one was "religious leader."  They didn't elaborate, so I don't know if they meant religious leader as in a cult leader like David Koresh or as in Pat Robertson.  I didn't score at all on "minister" so this job has me a bit confused. 

I tied with the corporate trainer job on two other jobs - musician and writer.  How funny is that?  Two things that I truly love to do in life and this test tells me that I should consider a career on those areas.  Imagine that.  While I've always dreamed of being a musician and getting paid big bucks for it, I honestly never thought about making it my actual only career - I've always thought of it as a hobby or as something I love to do in my spare time.  The same with writing.  I love writing in TWIT and I love when something I write here will cause one of my faithful readers to take the time to comment on it.  But I'd never considered writing as a career.  Even when I started my novel years ago, I never thought of actually making money writing it; I just wrote it because I thought I had a good idea and because nobody else had written a novel about that idea before. To my knowledge, the novel idea (no pun intended) still hasn't been written about, so I can still pull it off if I can write fast and get it published. 

I thought alot about the test results on my way home from class tonight. The test results showed me something that I knew all along, but that I also keep forgetting - I can't run from the gifts and talents that God gave me.  God blessed me with the gift of music and writing, and maybe this is His way of telling me that I should explore the possibilities of using those gifts and talents as my career.  This class gave me confidence and reassurance - music and writing are things that I've always loved to do, and I didn't really need a test to tell me that.   

March Madness 2006

It's safe to say that there was a huge downward spike in productivity today in companies all across the country.  And I'm pretty sure that copying machines got a major workout today, too.  For you see, the NCAA tournament brackets were in today's newspapers and on the internet.  The first tournament game is Thursday afternoon, so from now until noon on Thursday people everywhere will be working at a frenzied pace filling out their brackets for the company jackpots. 

It's funny to see how the NCAA tournament jackpots bring out the gambler in everybody.  Even people who are openly and adamently opposed to gambling will pay their money and fill out a bracket with the teams they think will win.  I guess they don't consider it gambling.  But the last time I checked, paying money to predict the outcome of sporting events with the hopes of winning money based on your correct predictions was still considered gambling.  So just a short note to you anti-gamblers who get in the NCAA bracket pools: don't be quick to point your finger at the casino and horse race fans; you're one of "us" after all.

I don't participate in the NCAA tourny jackpots at work simply for the fact that I don't follow college basketball and I could not care less about the tourny.  But I don't diss it; I have friends and co-workers who live for March Madness.  Good for them.  I just don't get into it.  My Mother doesn't like March Madness, either; they cut into "The Young And The Restless" on Thursday and Fridays and that hacks her off.  I can't blame her.  I'd be the same way if they preempted "All My Children" for the games. 

Link Of The Week

There's nothing more frustrating than waiting to get on a plane when the flight has been delayed, or picking up someone at the airport whose flight has been delayed.  This world has made us impatient people. From firsthand experience, I tend to get nerved up when I'm picking up someone at the airport and they're flight was delayed and they're not at the airport at the time they originally told me.  I start to freak out and think I've missed them.  For those of you in and around Louisville, I've got the perfect site to help ease our mind when it comes to airline flight departure and arrival times.  Go to http://www.flylouisville.com and you can find out the up-to-the-minute departure and arrival times for every flight going to and from Louisville's Standiford Field.  When you bring up the site, it defaults to SDF (the airport code for Louisville) but you can delete that and enter in any airport code.  Go ahead and put it in favorites - you'll want to check it perodically if you or your loved ones travel by plane.   

Mullet Watch

Our mullet spotters have been out and about, and faithful reader JMc brings us yet another mullet sighting.  

Yesterday while wondering up and down isle after isle in the red neck mecca of Fairdale, Wal-Mart,I spied a classic.  It was spiked on top with the short trim on the sides and long in the back with a slight curl.  Carpenter jeans tapered at the ankle with a denim Carhart tan jacket.  Like I said a classic look.  It was male pushing a baby carriage and a young fellow following him.  No mullet on the young one though.

Mullet count: 17

 

My iPod Top Twenty Tunes

I've seen an interesting feature on blogs and celebrity websites lately - a list of the songs on the person's iPod.  I thought I'd be a copy cat and do the same thing.  But it's a rainy, lazy Saturday and I don't have the energy to list all 241 songs on my iPod, so I thought I'd give you a list of the top twenty most played songs on my iPod.  Here's the list for March. Maybe I'll not procrastinate and will post a list of the songs for each month until the new has worn off of my iPod and it just sits on the desk collecting dust.  Please note they're in alphabetical order by artist because that's the way I have them sorted in my iPod. 

Sick And Beautiful - Artificial Joy Club
When Love Comes To Town - B.B. King and Bono
Juicy - Better Than Ezra
Twice As Hard - Black Crowes
Let's Get It Started - Black Eyed Peas
Brick House - Commodores
They Can't Take That Away From Me - Diana Krall
Bring Me Into Life - Evanescence
Golden Ring - George Jones and Tammy Wynette
Brick House - Joan Osbourne
Love Like This - Kennedy Rose
Do You Sleep - Lisa Loeb
Rose Garden - Martina McBride
Don't Cha - Pussycat Dolls
Fast Cars And Freedom - Rascal Flatts
What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts
Tell Me Something Good - Rufus featuring Chaka Khan
How Can I Keep From Singing - SheDaisy
In The Ghetto - Southpark remix featuring Elvis Presley
She Didn't Have Time - Terri Clark

Something New For My Resume

I have something new to add to my resume now under the "work experience" section: no, it's not bingo caller (more on that in a separate journal entry later).  It's ATM technician. 

As I've mentioned before, we have an ATM machine at work.  It's in foyer about 10 feet from our office cubicle.  Therefore, any time there is a problem with the machine, our department (or more specifically, me) is who the users tell.  Let me preface by saying this ATM is not the responsibility of the Production Scheduling Department, but since we're the closest people to the ATM, everyone thinks it's our baby to rock.

We had bad storms last night, and the power at work went off for a few minutes, and the power outage wreaked havoc on the ATM machine.  When we came in this morning, we noticed a paper sign taped to the machine that said "out of order."  The sign didn't stop people from trying to use the ATM machine, and each time they tried, they had to stop by our cubicle and tell me about it.  As if I am the official company ATM technician.  We kept track and 7 people came and told me about the ATM machine not working.  One even said "I know this isn't your responsibility but the ATM machine isn't working."  If you know it isn't my responsibility, then why are you telling me about it?????

After the 5th person told us about the machine not working, I got fed up and called the credit union to tell them. I wanted to go drag everybody that stopped by our department today and told us the machine wasn't working out to the ATM machine and show them the sign on the machine that says "If you have any problems with this machine please call Louchem Federal Credit Union." Seeeeeee?  It says call the CREDIT UNION.  It doesn't say "please notify Puddin in the Production Scheduling Department."

There.  I feel better now.

Let's Call In Sick

Today's journal entry is brought to you by our guest writer, my best friend and co-Diva, Stacy.  I think we can all learn something from this.

Let's talk about calling in to work "sick".  We've all done it. Sometimes we wake up and just don't feel like getting up and going in.  But sometimes we premeditate the crime.  As an employEE, I've done it myself, but as an employER, I feel everyone should know that us bosses are on to you and it's your own fault.

Over the years, I've seen all the "warning signs".  Constant rubbing of one's stomach throughout the afternoon, a cough that just doesn't seem to "produce" anything, holding one's head as if it hurts so bad it's going to split open, and laryngitis that seems to come and go at will.  Sometimes we place bets on whether you'll be calling in the next day. We're usually right.

If you do plan to call in sick, may I offer this advice? 

Don't announce to everyone that your husband is coming back in town after being away on business for several days and then begin rubbing your stomach.  We all know you will be calling in tomorrow so you can pick him up at the airport and spend the day together while the kids are at school.

Don't tell us your feel "bronchitis" or "food poisoning" coming on, call in sick, and then come back in to work the following day seeming just fine. These conditions usually require a trip to the doctor and they don't go away in one day.  A headache or just a plain old "upset stomach" is better.

If you really are sick, please stay home.  I don't want to catch it, and neither do your coworkers.  But if you are faking it, please spare us the drama.  We're all on to your "warning signs".

Here's To You, Gram

Even though it was cloudy and rainy today, it was still a good day for me. For on this day one hundred years ago, my Grandma was born.  TWIT would like to pay tribute to one of the greatest ladies I've ever known, Grandma Clara. 

She was born and raised in Bardstown, and moved to Louisville when she was in her early 20's.  Shortly after moving here, she met and married my Grandpa.They had two children, my Dad and my Aunt, and had a tough time raising two kids during the Depression, as did millions of other Americans at that time.  But they made it through.  The Depression mentality was something that Grandma never lost; in her later years, when we would buy her new dresses, she would still wear her old ones and keep the new dresses in her closet. When asked why, she would say "I'm saving them for hard times."

She loved to crochet, and made some of the most beautiful quilts I've ever seen. She would crochet all the time, and loved to make seasonal things.  For instance, during Easter, she would crochet little chickens that would go over plastic eggs.  I think there's not a child in Pleasure Ridge Park that didn't have one of Grandma Clara's crocheted chickens.  One year while I was in high school, a friend's father who worked at a sporting goods store gave her a "contract" to crochet bright orange ski caps to sell in there stores for the hunters.  I wish I knew how many of thost stocking caps she crocheted over the years. 

Grandma loved to watch her soap operas - something I inherited from her. She didn't watch "All My Children", though.  She was the number one fan of "Days Of Our Lives" and "Another World." I would watch them with her during days off from school.  She also loved country music, and she was in heaven when she heard about "The Nashville Network" channel being on cable TV.  Actually, that was the reason we got cable TV in the first place - so she could watch the country music shows.  Her favorite country singer was Conway Twitty, and everyone had to be quiet when he was on the TV singing or else we would get the evil eye.  She also loved Engleburt Humperdink, and would play his "Please Release Me" album over and over on the stereo. 

Grandma died six years ago, and even now there's not a day thatgoes by that I don't think of her. But they're happy thoughts.  She was my best friend and she taught me so much. She taught me the importance of honesty and being a reliable, responsible person. I know she's looking down from heaven and watching over me.  I hope I've made her proud.

More Non-Words

It's that time again, faithful readers.  Here's the 2006 version of non-words.  Most of these have been heard at work, and a few were heard out in public.  The sentences in which the words were used are verbatim.

Misimpression - I was under the misimpression that you were going to take care of that.

Fift - I told them the item would ship on the fift, not the third.

Holt - When I get holt of my insurance company on the phone, I'll let you know.

Fount - When you get back from the doctors let me know what they fount out. 

Sinus - (Used in the context of a health problem, not a body part)  Do you think it's a cold or do you have sinuses?

Valentimes - Did you get any flowers for Valentimes Day?

Reched - The plane reched cruising altitude and then started to descend. 

Afore - Are you stopping at Krispy Kreme afore you get to work?

NASCAR - (Used in the context of the name of a racing automobile, not a racing association) I want to find somebody who's a good artist so they can paint a NASCAR on my grandson's bedroom wall.

Costess - (Spoken to me by a McDonald's employee missing her front teeth) If you get chicken on the salad it costess more. 

Mullet Watch

Folks, there was another mullet sighting this weekend.  My friends CLeg spotted this one Friday afternoon while she was outside at one of the R & D sites at work.  She saw the mullet riding a bicycle. But not just any old bike, mind you; the mullet was riding a ten-speed.  They quickly dubbed him Speedy Mullet.  According to the reports, the mullet was very long and very wavy. 

Mullet count: 16

Farewell, Charlie Hodge

After a rash of celebrity deaths the other week, I'm shocked and sad to report another one.  Charlie Hodge, Elvis Presley's guitarist and loyal friend, has died at the age of 71.  Hodge lost his battle with lung cancer Friday evening. 

Charlie Hodge first met Elvis on the Army transport ship from the New York to Germany, September 1958, and they quickly became friends while stationed in Germany. They stayed best friends until Elvis' death in August 1977. Charlie sang back up, played guitar, handed Elvis water and gave him scarves on stage during the shows. During Elvis' concerts in the seventies, Charlie would put together the set lists of songs to perform.  Charlie even lived at Graceland, where Elvis told him to think of it as his home. 

After doing some quick research online, I was surprised to find lots of websites devoted to Charlie Hodge.  He had a huge fan following. He definitely was in The King's shadow while on stage, but Charlie never seemed to mind to be his right-hand man.  Just about all of the concert footage I've seen of Elvis shows Charlie Hodge always smiling in the background as he handed Elvis the infamous scarves.  From articles I've read, he was truly content to be working for Elvis. 

Link Of The Week

You know by now from reading TWIT that I'm a big eBay buyer.  Not a week goes by that I don't bid on something.  From my years of eBay experience, I've learned the proper way to search, or more importantly, to narrow down the search.  It's an art - that's all I can say.

If you're not a hardcore eBayer like me, I've got the perfect site for you.  And it could save you some money on shipping costs, too.  Just go to http://www.internetbargaincenter.com and let the site do all of the search work.  You can narrow the search down by zip code, city, or state.  For example, I would enter my zip code and then in the search I wound put in "Tammy Wynette" and it would bring up any Tammy Wynette items where the seller is in that zip code.  It's that simple.  Happy eBbaying. 

Sorry, Rachel

It's been a great lazy, restful Saturday at The Compound.  After breakfast, we all crashed and read the paper while we watched our favorite shows on Food Network.  I was in the back bedroom on the computer while the 'rents were watching TV, and imagine my surprise when I heard my mother say "I'd like to smack her."  I jumped up from my chair and ran to the family room to see who would have been the brunt end of Mama's wrath.  It was none other than Rachel Ray.  Needless to say, I was shocked.  In my 43 years, I've never heard my mother say such a thing about anyone.  But after watching a few minutes of "30 Minute Meals With Rachel Ray" I can honestly say that I would have done more than smack her; it would have been more like "hit her upside her head with a skillet."

If you've never watched Rachel Ray and don't know what I'm talking about, take a few minutes to check out The Food Network and watch one of her many shows on there, and you'll quickly find out what I'm talking about.  After the first five minutes of any of her shows, you, too, will be wanting to smack her.  She's just too damned peppy, and she waves her hands around so much when she talks, that I'd like to handcuff her.

I'd watched her show before but today as I watched it, I paid more attention, and I agree with my mother. The woman deserves to be smacked.  She's just too damned happy and perky.  I dread when she has to saute or fry something, just because I know we'll be bombarded with her favorite phrase "EVOO" (extra virgin olive oil).   I did some quick reseach, and found that there are tons of websites devoted to hating Rachel Ray.  While my Mom and I won't go so far as to say we actually hate her, we will on on record as saying she gets on our nerves bigtime. 

There's been annoying characters and people on TV and movies over the years, but Rachel Ray is the first one I've ever heard my sweet, do-anything-for-anybody mother say she'd like to smack.  It's not an easy task, either - to get on my mother's bad side.  Even with the shenanigans I've pulled over the years, I've never heard her say toward me "I'd like to smack you."  To quote Martha Stewart, that's a good thing.

Profressional Development Day

The trip to work this morning was a breeze with no traffic problems.  There was no school today for the public school kids, so there were no buses to deal with.  Never mind that the kids were out for two days just two weeks ago - they were out of school again today.  There was no school in Jefferson county today because it was Professional Development Day in the county public school system Let's take a moment and analyze Professional Development Day, shall we?  Let's see who was getting professional development.

It wasn't the students. They sure didn't learn anything today. They probably spent the day in front of the TV or in a catatonic haze in staring at their video games. It's no wonder our county schools have such low test scores compared to the other schools in the state and country; the kids have more days off than government workers.  I'm not surprised that our county school PATs have trouble reading and doing simple math.  Here's a perfect example: The Old Man and I went to the grocery store the other week, and in front in the checkout line were 4 or 5 twenty-somethings.  The cashier was a young PAT, probably late teens.  The older twenty-somethings checked out first,  and the young PAT had to call someone over to scan and ring up their Corona beer.  After they checked out, their friends the younger twenty-somethings were ready to purchase some tortilla chips and 3 limes.  The PAT scanned the chips, but when she saw the limes she was absolutely clueless.  For you see, the limes were on sale 4 for a dollar, and they only had 3.  The poor girl didn't know what to do.  After 7 minutes of not knowing what to do, I'd had all I could take and spoke up "Limes are four for a dollar.  That means they're a quarter a piece.  Does that help?"  Well, evidently, it didn't because the PAT had to call a manager to come and help her.  If she'd had school instead of being off all the time, she might have been able to do simple division and multiplication. 

The teachers and school administrators didn't get developed professionally today, either.  An anonymous informant hipped me to this.  His wife was a Jefferson county public school teacher, as was his son-in-law, and he said that Professional Development Dayis just a day for the teachers go to the mall or to the casino boat.  So from the teachers' standpoint, the only development going on today is the money the stores and Caesars is making from them. 

That leaves us with the bus drivers.  If you ask me, they're the only ones that received any professional development today.  They definitely needed a break from hauling the rowdy PATs to and from school.  Their nerves needed time to calm back down from all of the bus drama that goes on.  A time for them to regroup and be ready for another week of hauling around the PATs is as much professional development as you can get.

I'll Trade Ya

If you've read any money or household tip newsletters or websites recently, chances are youv'e read something about bartering.  From what I've read, it's the hip thing to do these days.  Bartering is just a fancier name for trading, or swapping as we called it in school.  In case you're wondering, barter comes from the French word barater, which means "to trade."  The newsletters and articles make it sound like bartering is some new concept.  But bartering has been used since before money was invented.  There was no such thing as money, and people had to get their food, clothing and other necessities by trading things for them.  If you ask me, bartering began thousands of years ago when kids started taking their lunches.  And it's stilli n practice today.

Lunchroom trading is still the most popular form of bartering among kids today.  Desserts are the number one item traded.  Back in the day at Greenwood Elementary, trading reached a near-frenzy on days that we had wheat fudge (aka no-bake cookies).  We would even trade our entree for another piece of wheat fudge.  We did have one trading oddity - in third grade, there was a boy in my class that loved the raw turnip slice that was served whenever we had soy burgers.  He loved them so much that he was willing to trade his french fries or his dessert for someone's turnip slice. 

Video game trading is another popular form of bartering with today's kids.  The premise is good - kids trading video games that they've played a bizillion times and have memorized all of the levels and are tired of playing.  But the downside is that most of the times the kids have no concept of value when it comes to their video games; all they know is their parents forked over the money for them.  They have no clue what the video games cost.  Case in point: a dear friend's son traded a video game for a ballcap.  The cap probably cost $5 at a discount store; the video game cost the parents $50.  Ouch.  The parents will have to just suck it up, because as we all know, black black, no trade back.

I Hope You Don't Get A Dime, Anna Nicole

I received an email today from one of my faithful readers, and they asked if I was going to write about the Anna Nicole Smith drama.  To be honest, I hadn't intended to, but how can I turn down a faithful reader?

In case you don't know, Anna Nicole Smith has taken her 11 year-long battle over her husband's estate to the Supreme Court - the highest court in the land.  The fight over the fortune of oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall is between his son E. Pierce Marshall and Nicole, his grieving widow.  Smith met Marshall when he visited the strip club where she danced, and they soon married in 1994.  The bride was 26, and the groom was 89.  Minutes after the couple exchanged their wedding vows (note: the groom wore pajamas, and was wheeled down the aisle in a wheelchair) the bride left her groom and went to Mexico for a vacation.

During their 14 months of marriage, Marshall gave Smith an estimated $6.6 million in gifts that included two homes, $2.8 million in jewelry and $700,000 in clothes.  Smith contends that Marshall promised her half his estate, and even signed paperwork declaring so.  However, Pierce Marshall his son said that various wills and trusts his father had prepared over the yeras named him the sole heir. 

In and of itself, this would have otherwise been a dreary probate dispute.  But thanks to Anna Nicole Smith, it's reached a new level.  Never would we have thought a case involving a former stripper and Playboy Playmate contesting the probate of a multimillionaire would have made it to the Supreme Court.  The two new Supreme Court Justices are sure getting baptized by fire with this case, aren't they?

It all boils down to who's side to you believe: is Anna Nicole entitled to the fortune because she was married to the guy, or is she a just a golddigger?  Before she married the old guy in 1994, nobody had ever heard of Anna Nicole Smith.  But she did get the notariety because she was 26 and married an 89 year-old multimillionaire who truly had one foot in the grave and the other foot on a banana peel.  Do I think she was a golddigger and married him for the money?  I most certainly do.  And I don't see how she can stand before the highest court in the land and say differently.  Sure, the old guy might have told her "I'm making another will and will leave half of everything to you" after she opened her shirt and flashed him, like she did repeatedly to him.  But I still don't think she's entitled to half of his estate - just on the sole fact that she was a golddigger.  In my opinion, this marriage was way more fraudulant than Kenny Chesney and Rene Zellweiger's could have ever been.   I hope she doesn't get another dime from the old guy.  I side with the old guy's son on this.  If I were in his place, and my 89 year-old father did something so stupid as marrying a 26 year-old, you're damn right I'd fight it all the way to the Supreme Court.