What Will Al-Qaida Think Of Next?

In between the news stories about Lindsay Lohan's latest DUI arrest this week, we saw the headlines about Al-Qaida regrouping and threatening to attack the U.S. again.  The media is even scaring us with stories of the terrorists conducting dry runs of their attack missions.  Airport security officials around the country have been alerted by federal officials to look out for the terrorists "practicing" by carrying explosive components onto airplanes.  This alert is based on some curious seizures at airports in the past six or so months.  The items found in checked and carry-on luggage were components used to make IEDs - Improvised Explosive Devices.  The components included wires, switches, pipes, tubes, cell phone components, and dense clay-like substances, including block cheese.  Yes, cheese.  The TSA (Transportation Safety Administration) said that block cheese is the same density and consistency as some explosives.  In one seizure, a block of processed cheese was found taped to a cell phone charger.  I'm guessing it was a big block of Velveeta.

We all know that the military has been trying to find and destroy Al-Qaida training camps, but I think the terrorists are learning their techniques from watching old "I Love Lucy" episodes.  One episode in particular stands out - when Lucy and the gang were on their European vacation (yes, the same vacation that brought us the classic episode where Lucy and Ethel were stomping grapes).  They were travelling by train, and while in Italy, Lucy decided she wanted to smuggle out a huge roll of salami.  She smuggled it on the train by disguising the giant salami as a baby.  She wrapped the salami in a baby blanket and cradled it in her arms while she was on the train.  Maybe the Department of Homeland Security needs to make sure Al-Qaida doesn't have access to TVLand or Nick At Night.