Shively Clause Is Coming To Town

A local radio station got in big trouble this week when they played a Christmas song titled "Shively Clause." In case you're reading this and don't live here in The 'Ville, Shively is a part of town just to the north of the area where I live, Pleasure Ridge Park. For years, Shively, PRP, and Valley Station (to the south of PRP) have been the brunt end of many jokes, mainly about rednecks, white trash, and morons.  I know that neither me nor my family do not fall in any of those three categories, so I just laugh along when someone tells a Shively, PRP or Valley Station joke.  But this week, some residents of Shively weren't laughing when a radio station played a song about "Shively Clause."  I'm sure that the songwriter and performer had no malicious intent; it was just entertainment.  I thought the song was a scream.  I friend called me on my way to work the other morning and told me to tune in that radio station because they were getting ready to play it.  I was laughing so hard I thought I would have to pull over; not from the song itself, but from the calls that came in from pissed off Shively residents.  And for the redord, I would have still laughed if the song had had been "PRP Clause."  Here's the lyrics to the song, sung to the tune of "Santa Clause Is Coming To Town":

Shively Clause Is Coming To Town

Oh you better lock up, you better play dead
Santa's not coming, so this year instead
Shively Clause is coming to town

His mullet is long, his Marlboro is red
He doesn't leave presants, he takes them instead
Shively Clause is coming to town

His reindeer look like Pit Bulls
His sleigh has spinning rims
His prison tatts say "I Love Mom"
And his t-shirt smells like gin

He's not a bad guy, his nose is bright red
His cheeks are all rosey, he's probably inbred
Shively Clause is coming to town