Last Wednesday, my Mother had her annual mammogram, and also had a bone density test during the same visit. On Thursday, her doctor's office called. Here's a verbatim transcript of the phone call:
Doctor's office: Puddin's Mom, your test results are back, and Dr. Edwards would like to see you next week.
My Mom: (who is assuming she has incurable breast cancer at this point) Could you tell me why she wants to see me? Did they find something in my mammogram?
Doctor's office: Your mammogram was fine, but your bone density tests came back with some spots.
My Mom: So why does the doctor want to see me?
Doctor's office: (Speaking with hesitancy in their voice) Puddin's Mom, I'm sorry to tell you that you have osteoporosis
My Mom: And?
Doctor's office: You have osteo, Puddin's Mom
My Mom: I know that. I was diagnosed with osteo four years ago when Dr. Edwards had me take my first bone density test.
Doctor's office: Oh.
There was a little more exchange of banter, but I won't go into detail with it. Suffice to say that Mom had to go to the doctor's office today. Wait - I meant to say Mom had to pay for another office visit today - for them to tell her that she had osteoporosis; something that her doctor diagnosed four years ago. Mom said they were acting like this was a big revalation or something. The doctor did go on to tell Mom that her osteo had greatly improved since the last time she'd taken the bone density test. As soon as she said that, Mom fired right back and said "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you have records that show I took a bone density test four years ago, and that was when I was diagnosed with osteo. Today, you're telling me that I have osteo - like it's something I didn't already know. What's up with that?" She said her doctor fumbled with her files, and simply said "Whatever you're doing, keep on doing it." I have a feeling my Mom will be in the market for another doctor soon.
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